- Might need, yeah, we need new tape.
This is dead.
New tape.
They searched for tape but they could not find it.
The shoot forever hampered.
What would a world without tape be?
Nobody knew.
And yet they tried.
They tried and tried.
But there was no tape.
He had to hold the microphone forever.
(dramatic music)
Oh.
They found another piece of tape.
They suggested he put it on his skin.
He said "I'll try."
I'll try.
But he didn't want to try.
It didn't work but he lied.
I think it works.
All right, let's do it.
(music builds to a crescendo)
I'm Trevor Noah and I'm about to go Fishing for Answers.
All right, let's do this.
I don't know what's in the bowl.
I don't know what's in my head. So I guess it's a fair game.
Question one, who was your first celebrity crush?
I would have to say it was Jennifer Lopez.
If you had my love and I gave you all my trust,
would you comfort me?
And I answered from my bedroom as I think a 12-year-old boy,
yes J-Lo, I would comfort you dearly.
And then she got married without me.
(gentle, upbeat music)
Next question.
You had a great segment on The Daily Show
about Bernie Sanders' public access show from the 80s.
Can you reenact Bernie talking to the kids?
Oh, this is fun. This was one of my favorite segments
because a lot of people don't know this about Bernie Sanders
but he's one of the most consistent human beings
you'll ever come across,
and what I like about him is that he doesn't pander.
So it doesn't matter if he's talking to constituents
or 10-year-olds, Bernie's always gonna be like
"What do you think we should do
"about the economy in this area?"
And one of the kids was like
"I don't wanna go to school,"
and he was like, "Well you know what, you're dumb."
- I'm tryin' to argue with these kids.
They think they're very smart
and that school is not important.
- Yeah.
- That right?
Well I disagree with you.
All right, I think you're dumb.
(audience gasp)
(Noah laughs) (audience laughs)
(gentle, upbeat music)
- All right, next question.
How do you do your sexy red carpet pose?
I'll be honest with you,
no one's ready for my sexy red carpet pose
so on the carpet, I try and keep it PG.
I try and keep it safe for everyone watching at home,
'cause once I bring sexy, there's no coming back from that.
What's the biggest misconception about comedians?
The biggest misconception about comedians
is that we spend all our time making jokes
everywhere we go.
But the truth is, we are very normal,
calm, depressing people.
And we make jokes.
All right.
Final question from the bowl.
Which guest from your show surprised you the most
when you interviewed them?
(Sighs) Which guest?
I would have to say it was Michael Hayden,
ex-director of the CIA,
because I thought he was gonna come in
and just say no comment to every question,
but he told me what it was like to run the CIA.
He told me how hard it was to live in a world
where you have to decide when to attack people
before they attack you
and you know that there's a life on the other end
of every single decision that you're making.
It was honestly one of the most enlightening conversations
I've had with a person
and I genuinely was surprised by it on the show.
And yeah, I'm eternally grateful to him
for just coming on the show and baring his soul.
That was really fun.
And the bowl is empty, which means I get to go home.
Goodbye everybody.
(funk music)