Thanks, everyone, for taking the time out of your busy schedules to be here.
It only took literally seven months to find a time when we were all free.
A special thanks to Danielle for always being free.
- Ouch. - I know it can be hard to pin us all down.
It's your fault for deciding to have 16 people living in one household.
Well, there's the door, if you want.
I can't leave. I'm one of the original leaseholders...
and I don't want these hooligans to sully my good rental name.
- Which hooligans? - You! Absolutely you.
But you can bet that as soon as June first comes, I am out of here.
How do we have 16 people living in one household?
Jenny kept inviting relatives to stay indefinitely.
You mean half of this room is Jenny's relatives?
I just claimed I was a long-lost cousin to get mates' rates.
I claimed I was her estranged uncle, Charles.
You're two years younger than her.
Yeah, but for some reason she didn't notice.
I've noticed with her, that if you tug on the heartstrings,
reason just seems to fly out the window.
Wait, who are you? I've never seen you before.
I'm Johnny. I've been here since day one.
Ah! Well, nice to meet you, Johnny!
We've met before. You... sat on me yesterday.
Did I?
Yes. And I said: "Excuse me, Madam, but get off."
Oh!
I thought that was the couch quoting The Lion King to me.
Yes, the only rational conclusion.
Interesting choice to speak to me in a Lion King quote.
Movie quotes are the only mean by which I know how to communicate with humans.
Aside from everything I'm saying right now.
You watch movies? I thought you only read books.
Why am I so misunderstood by you, people?
Hi! I don't think we've met. What's your name?
Johnny!
I came to your birthday party.
- That was a very hard thing for me to do! - Okay! Let's stay on topic, people. Yeah?
Now I know it's been hard to tee up a time when we're all free.
- Seven months to be exact. - I will cut you if you interrupt me again!
- Please! Can we get this over with? - Yes, of course. Sorry, Annie.
Now I know it's taken a while for us to set up this meeting,
but I think it's important for us to talk about a few logistical things.
- Not logistics. - I'd like to go first, thank you.
I have a list of 27 things that I'd like to bring up.
- No. Absolutely not! - Hey! You can't just grab my list.
That wouldn't be the first time she's pinched someone's belongings.
My sandwiches keep suspiciously going missing.
Maybe you should label them.
I do label them in three different languages!
You write your name in three different languages?
See, this is why you should keep a mini fridge in your bedroom...
... like Jill does. - Ashley! A SECRET mini fridge.
See, you've used the word "bacteria" way too many tim-
Hang on, did someone say mini fridge?
No, no! Not at all. No one said mini fridge.
Now you're just lying, Jill.
And lying is against the spirit of this household.
I never signed up for any kind of "spirit" when I moved into this household.
Well, that's a shame, because we certainly inherited...
a lot of spirits when we moved in here.
What?
Oh, I wouldn't want to take up too much of the allocated meeting time...
... by going into it. - I'm with you. I can feel them too.
Whoa! Hold the phone. What spirits did we inherit from this house?
Because I'm running low.
You're not the only one running low on spirit.
How many different layers do you think we can milk from this joke?
What have I told you about discussing milk in the abstract?
- I don't know why I'm in the tiny chair. - Excellent point, Barry!
If we could all just avoid discussing anything abstract in this meeting...
... that would be great. - Right, that's it. I'm out of here.
Where are you going?
We've been here for 10 minutes and nothing's been accomplished.
I don't even understand what the goal of this meeting is.
It's to voice any concerns that we might be feeling as a household.
If I may interrupt just that we can sort of move this meeting along.
I'd like to suggest that we have bi-annual community nights...
so that we can nurture a sense of togetherness as a household.
Sorry, Kaylee. A sense of togetherness is far too abstract a concept...
... to discuss in this meeting. - Oh, don't be silly. No, it's not.
As usual, no consistency from you with rule building.
I'd like to motion to just veto rules in general.
Pff, that's ludicrous!
I'd like to state for the record that I find this meeting large uncomfortable...
and would much prefer if we could summarize our qualms...
... in dot point format in the group chat. - I left the group chat.
I've never muted anything faster in my life.
Thank you so much for speaking up. Does anyone else feel this way?
Danielle, how are you feeling about this meeting?
I'd just like to clarify something:
Is this meeting just about rules? Because I thought we were catching up...
and I brought some of my photos that I took from my recent trip...
to collect fabric scraps from the trash yard.
- So, you mean, from your bedroom? - Hey! Her bedroom is fine!
- At least it has character. - When did you go into my bedroom?
That's my private space.
Actually, could we clarify rules about privacy?
Because someone keeps folding my laundry for me.
Oh! That was me. I thought you didn't know how to do it.
What makes you think that?
Because... you never do.
Yeah, because it's a waste of time.
- I think I'm going to be sick. - What? I don't fold my laundry...
and have you ever seen me looking less than presentable?
Absolutely yes!
You choseto leave the house yesterday in a wine stained dress.
The stain blended into the flowers in the fabric.
I asked Ashley if she could notice it and she said 'no'.
Ashley wouldn't notice if someone punched her in the face.
Hey!
Actually no. Fair. I did that to myself yesterday...
and was confused where the bruise came from later.
Your spatial awareness, clearly, isn't great.
Hi! I don't think we've met. What's your name?
Is this a joke?
I'd like to put in a request to have my own bedroom.
There are 16 people who live in this house.
- Yeah, but I'm the best. - If we were going to have...
some sort of ranking system to determine who gets their own bedroom,
surely the value of each person should be decided based on utility.
In which case, you would be at the very bottom of the list.
- And cue the emotional opera. - Excuse me. Absolutely not!
We are not going to use a utilitarian perspective...
to determine someone's worth, thank you very much.
But, just hypothetically, if we did have a list, what would that look like?
Well, I would be at the top, obviously.
Okay. What is the yardstick by which you were choosing to measure utility?
Whoever contributes the most to the functionality of this household.
Yeah, but in what sense? "Functionality" is far too vague a word.
How do you always manage to get them to fall into your traps?
I don't know how many times I have to say this, but I am... the best.
And so, conclusively, your role is actually far more minute than you think it is.
This is a waste of time!
Speaking of wasted time, someone used all of my herbs the other day,
so I wasn't able to make the lasagna that I wanted to when I was craving it.
Could we just all kind of make sure that we're not using other people's ingredients?
I use them for the pasta that we'll all be eating together as a household tonight.
Oh, yeah. That's fine. Just let me know next time, maybe.
Well, if it's for the household, surely it's fine.
- Are we done? - Do you have somewhere to be, Jane?
No, the natural light is starting to burn her skin.
- Can you find a new joke? - This meeting is a joke.
- How are you? Are you doing well? - Yeah! Great, thanks.
How's that issue with your manager going?
We can talk about it later. I don't want Jenny to single me out.
Did you, girls, have an issue that you wanted to raise?
Too late.
No, we were just catching up a little bit.
Oh! Is it catching up time?
Guys, I was hoping to put forward the idea...
of maybe turning the basement into a wine cellar.
That way, I can finally host the wine nights that I've always wanted to host.
I would argue that you've already been hosting the wine nights.
Drinking a glass of red over dinner is not a wine night.
I meant with all the complaining that you do.
Ouch.
Thank you, Lauren. Can we have a show of hands?
Does anyone else vote to turn the basement into a wine cellar?
Hum... The-
The basement is my bedroom.
Oh!
Sorry... Johnny, was it?
Unbelievable.
Can I suggest that we continue this over dinner?
I stopped listening, like, seven years ago.
Excellent suggestion! All right, everyone, let's all head to the dining room.
It's dinner time!
- Fantastic. - Yes, please!
- Finally! - Great.
- What's for dinner? - My time.
I'm probably just gonna leave.
Well, our characters are heading off to dinner.
I thought I would take this opportunity to talk about this month's sponsor:
Skillshare.
Skillshare is an online learning platform that offers courses in a variety of areas.
I've already enjoyed taking multiple classes myself,
including guitar lessons, calligraphy lessons,
mindfulness classes on silencing my inner critic.
And I've recently been taking a class by Mike Dee...
on "21 Days of Purposeful Productivity".
A big goal of mine this year is to be superintentional...
about keeping my work life balance in check,
so learning habits of productivity has helped big time...
as I try to juggle 100 different jobs as my channel expands.
If you have a new skill that you'd like to try out,
there is almost certainly a class on Skillshare for it.
There are classes ranging from creativity to career development.
And what makes Skillshare so special in my opinion...
is that there are class communities and specific assignments...
for each of the courses, which means you can take the skill that you've learned...
and apply it practically in a community that will support you.
It can be super intimidating to think about all of the steps that are involved...
in achieving our long-term goals.
Worry not, because Skillshare helps you to start small.
And what better time to start than now with a very special offer...
for all of the viewers of this channel?
The first 1000 people to join Skillshare via the link in the description of this video...
will receive a FREE 1 month trial of Skillshare.
So if you'd like to see what's on there, please join Skillshare...
via the link in the description of this video.
And thank you so much to Skillshare for sponsoring.
All right, now let's jump back and see what these hooligans are up to.
Hey, so who are you?
I'm Johnny! I've been here for months.
You best not play games with me. I know you've been lying.
Ashley wasn't even here yesterday...
and there are hidden cameras in the basement.
- Oh. - So what are you trying to pull?
I just heard that this was a pretty chaotic household...
and that I could easily slide in if I just pretended I'd been here all along.
Fair enough.
Well, you're going to need to play it a lot smarter...
if you're planning on sticking around.
What do you mean? I am smart.
Maybe so, but you don't know how to play the game.
Alright. So, admittedly, I didn't check the basement for cameras.
Doesn't matter.
There are no cameras in the basement and Ashley was here yesterday.
- What? - Yeah, that was child's play...
compared to the antics that happened behind the scenes here.
What game are you trying to play?
That, my young Padawan, is not information...
that I will ever be sharing with you.
Just know that it's every man for himself in here.
Nothing is what it seems.
You coming to dinner?
Yeah.
One more question.
Yep?
How did you know I was lying?
You just have a vibe about you. Can't really explain it.
Also, you chose to tell some of the most obscene lies.
Why would you go for the "I've been here all along" narrative? It's way too risky.
Better than the narrative you're going for.
What?
You bank on the assumption that my housemates...
would have remembered me if I'd been around since day one.
A foolish assumption...
for you underestimate how forgettable I truly am.
I have been around since day one. And they have forgotten me...
... many times.
Your second foolish assumption was that I know how to lie.
I can't even lie to the bag lady at the grocery store.
You think I'd be able to lie about Ashley sitting on me?
I know she forgets details, but that would have been way too risky.
Especially if I couldn't vouch with 100% certainty...
for the fact that she was actually here yesterday.
And your third mistake was underestimating me.
I know everything that goes on in this house...
and it was very clear from the moment I saw you earlier today that you are not...
and you have never been a member of this household.
So now I'm forced to ask:
Who are you and what is your game?
- You think you're so clever. - Oh, trust me...
I may forget how to tie my shoelaces sometimes,
but one thing that I'm absolutely certain of is that I am clever.
Well, looks like it's my word against yours.
That's stupid. You can't prove that you were here longer than me.
You underestimate my powers of manipulation.
Whatever your game is, you won't win.
Imposter!
Are you, guys, coming?
Yeah, absolutely. Come on, man.
May the best man win.
I probably won't do anything about it.