Oh, hey, how you doing. So, about a month ago i did a video about
NASTIEST INSTAGRAM FOOD and um it did pretty
well, I thought it was a good video it seemed well-received, and a here we are at the "food of chefs"
Instagram account for another dose and before we get into it okay, let, me ask you
What is a chef? Now, well they're the captain of the ship.
They are the conductor of the orchestra that
manifests itself on that plate. A chef, is the sensei of the kitchen.
a Chef has to have understanding of food from the technical elements, all the way down to the human
psyche. So that is where we land here with these
S T O L E N
Instagram videos let's see, what we've got. "foodofchefs"
"Mouth-watering food" (nothing less). "food makes me happy" (you bet it does) oh look Mr.
Ramsey, right, I know you're a world-famous chef and you're a
"Professional" right, but um, your instagram game? Weak, weak bro. I'm about to show. You what a real
chef does what they're capable of, let's go, let's just jump right into the thiccc of it, okay?
Yeah, let's go
*very S E N S U A L chopping noises*
Okay, for this first one, some kind of algae. no but seriously, what is that? what's..
I mean there's no info on it here
I ain't got a clue
*very loud sonds of air*
*more, quieter air sounds*
Okay, this one's, weird all the rest are just household foods being prepared that look nice
"D E B A T A B L Y"
but this, one here is just an assembly line of
Something, let me, ask you when you just want a quick easy
dessert and you want some ice cream but you want a little bit more than ice cream
What do you get?
topping?
Sprinkles?
maybe go a bit overboard
Make a banana split or someth-- no what you do is you get ice cream and you're put in a
Bowl, and then you flatten this one out of it and then, then you add an egg to it. and an egg
Yolk, just on its own
"FOOD OF CHEFS"
I'm crying now honestly with this one i wasn't even gonna click on it because just from the picture looks like
Some ice cream with like, canned peach in it almost and that egg yolk. would that taste good? like, maybe i'm wrong, maybe, maybe
egg yolk, and ice cream come together magically, but they probably don't.
Okay I've gone through some, skipped
Through them, they're.. they're, fine, right? i mean that ones just a pizza but in the shape of them one of them the things i can't say because... i like money. but i've gone
Down and I've seen um
I've seen this one
Is that a..?
Is that a sausage? Is that an egg? Oh, boy, let's go alright, so what we've got here is you cut
a sausage into pieces you get some pastry, make it into a circle move the sausage
*something being thrown sound effect?*
around the pastry, move the pastry
*some spinning sound*
into the sausage and then finally with the hand of a master just
*sexy bones cracking*
put an egg into the sausage.
and then in some attempt to make it look kind of decent put some spices on it and um
*Tounge click*
Yeah, that'll do i mean it doesn't even look, good it's just an, egg inside sausage with undercooked
Pastry, okay, whatever let's go to the next one whatever it, is i'm sure it'll be better than this, okay,
So, what we do is we get, some potato, cut Them into crinkle-cut Chips, fair enough then, we align them in squares?
What and then? *what do you think*
We put an egg in it. Why? I don't know
You just do you just do put an
egg in it because that's the food of chefs everyone food of chef only the finest cuisine
Evidently look, who cares just pop an egg in something and it's automatically "yAsSS this looks delicious"
Oh, yeah I.. I had some comments in the last video saying I was offending some culture right? And i'm sorry but, if egg
chips are your culture is it really a
culture? They know it's terrible so they just put some spices on it um
and put some garnish on there try to salvage it
Ah, hey chef!
You know customers are saying our food looks
A W E F U L
Hey kiddo, uh I've got the solution, okay, you know
What you do is you get the food, and you put a bit of parsley on it. Everyone thinks you're a pro, okay?
Whatever lets watch the next one see, what we've got.
*hot and sexy vlog music play sensualy*
*E G G*
*more sexy vlog music*
Right, so this one honestly doesn't seem that bad to me, but
I mean it's just a
weird way to cook an omelet. Alright guys instead of mixing it in
a bowl, we mix it in a bag, and cook it in the bag and that
also, raises like is it safe to heat things up in a plastic
bag I'm not, sure it's not something I'd want to try out it just seems like a slightly
worse way to cook an omelet and that's all it is but nah, FOOD OF CHEFS you know
Heston, he's out here, day one on the job, his new employees are taught
look, when you make an omelet, right. You don't touch the bowls okay, Ziploc bags, thats where your're at.
k, with this next one it's just, we've got some substance they don't make it clear what it is, some
potato thing? I've no idea.
*ENGAGING EMOJI MODE STAND CLEAR, BASIC LEVELS HITTING CRITICAL*
And what they've done is they've just made a bunch of emojis out of them, and deep-fried them, and that's it uh.
Effectively all it is is, hey,
you can, make shapes out of things
W H A T
That is so awesome. Is it pandora, is it? You've made smiley faces out of play-doh.
Really
*AND THE PRODIGAL SON RETURNS*
My, favorite part about this one is how, when you go down...
"eat or pass"
Eat what?
some raw, egg-yolk hell, yeah, that's, some good shit, egg, white even better! this entire account
Is just the definition of who gives a shi-- (DEMONITIZEDD)
is it short
Does it have something to do with food yep, okay put it on the account
Okay, the first one is just tomato sauce or ketchup for you
American scum *yeah we really are ;[* all right so you put that onto a sauce pan and
What okay, so it turns out it's just pancake batter that you've colored red, and put into a
Okay, why, well why'd? You, do that because it makes a good thumbnail of course
Okay, in the second one are you having trouble spreading
Your peanut butter, and like, this guy
With the hand-eye coordination of an infomercial actor
do bulky storage containers
𝐬𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐓--
Right so the quick and easy
solution to
Spreading peanut butter, and having the bread tear a little is to
Freeze an entire sheet of peanut butter, and then just take, this solid peanut butter
Just peel it off and put it on the bread that's the easy
Way look, i have an idea once you just heat up the peanut butter
In some warm water
better in every way
You dumbass *no u*
the third one is just lame just get some melted ice cream put it in the bowl. Self-raising flour
Make it into a cake i mean maybe it's good i know. Coke coca-cola. Cake, that's good what, what do i know?
just dumbass Slazo, okay, now one of you linked
Me to a post from this account
And most of their posts are fine like
Good, even right the ingredients are all laid out there i can't understand it so it's safe, from me there
*AVACADO SOUND*
*PEEL*
*Some sweet avacado ASMR*
**THAT SURE IS SOME**
***𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑***
*𝐒𝐇𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐏*
*𝐒𝐇𝐋𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆*
**𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐑**
(Hey that's not clean water)
*ice ice baby*
*even more very sensual ASMR*
*CLEAN WATER*
**ASMR of avocado eating**
Is that good is that good buddy hmm
I dont get this, get this is this appealing to someone like just ignoring the food itself the sound effects. bleh
Mean it's just like you know an avocado
mushed up with cream ice and sprinkles, why, well i mean he's loving it isn't he, uh
I dont know, maybe i'm just being an idiot maybe i'm just being picky but
That just doesn't look good to, me like the ice was ice there
How, does the ice help it why the sprinkles there
Why, is he there
in summary sure you guys can, go to an actual chef's restaurant, and get something decent
Somewhere near decent food but on instagram you can get some
Beautiful stuff man
World-class anyway at the end of this voyage i am left
Hopeless knowing that i'm never gonna, make anything that rivals this not even close i saw what have you tweeted
Me and said because i don't have merch yet you, made some Slazo themed. Socks some that's cool, i mean it's good to know
There's a market for my, face on?
People's feet i can't get a fan fiber store yet because i'm not big enough um so if you
Want me to have one bring it up with them
It's not my fault anyway hope you enjoyed the video as always, my links for instagram and twitter and all that are down below
Uh, and also my generous generous patrons i don't know, why, you guys donate but i appreciate that you do and without further
ado i'll see you in the next one
*strang Slazo noises*