Wiz: Once upon a time there was a small child full of promise named, Sora.
Boomstick: And he lived on the one and only: Destiny Island.
Sora and his friends Riku and Kairi grew up honin' their athletic skills by playin' sports with Final Fantasy characters who don't judge Sora's fashion choices.
Wait a minute.
What the hell Final Fantasy characters doin' there?
Wiz: Like most residents of Destiny Island did they lost their home to a sinister force called the Heartless.
But it wasn't long until this soulless embodiment of evil would invade the island.
Boomstick: But the arrival of these creepy crawlers wasn't the only surprise.
Alongside the darkness came light in the form of a Keyblade, which is the key to fixing everythin'.
Super subtle.
This Keyblade in particular was known as the Kingdom Key and was drawn to Sora thanks to his pure heart.
With the Kingdom Key Sora had the means to combat the Heartless.
Boomstick: By unlockin' doors.
WIz: Well, yes.
The Keyblade can get past almost any lock out there, but despite not having a long sharp edge it's a surprisingly deadly sword.
Boomstick: It's a key.
It's a sword.
And it's also a wand.
Sora can use it to cast all sorts of magic spells like a wizard.
He can even shoot a laser beam all the way to the moon.
Wiz: Unfortunately despite his newfound weapon the Heartless were overwhelming.
The darkness washed over Destiny Island and just like that it was gone.
Boomstick: But thanks to cosmic reasons Sora wound up face to face with Goofy and Donald Duck.
Yep he ended up in the most magical place on earth...
Disney.
Wiz: If you're confused don't worry you are not hallucinating.
Somehow, in some way this impossibility exists...
Turns out while Goofy and Donald have been lovable cartoons for decades.
They're also world hopping warriors.
Boomstick: Oh my god!
This is the best thin' ever.
From then on Sora teamed up with his new friends to lock the doors to the hearts of worlds saving them from the Heartless grip.
Boomstick: And he wasn't even old enough to get a driver's license.
Seein' Sora's crazy adventures reminds me that I need to go in my own adventure.
You know up to the fridge for another beer.
Wiz: Ugh I should just install a fridge here, so you can stop walking off in the middle of these things
Boomstick: I did that months ago, but I already cleaned it out this morning.
Wiz: Okay.
Well come back next week as we cover Sora's high-flying opponent: Pit from Kid Icarus.