How to find a boyfriend. Okay, this is a big topic, but what I want to give you today is
three very important concepts that allow you to find the best quality of boyfriend
for you in the shortest possible amount of time. Stay tuned.
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Okay, so how to find a boyfriend. Well, we're going to talk about three very
important concepts that come with you, finding the best boyfriend in the shortest
amount of time. But before we do that, I want to ask you three questions.
Number one, how high are your expectations with the men that you date?
Number two, how high are your standards for the men that you date?
And number three, how picky are you with the men that you date? Consider your
answers right now. Are your answers to those three questions more or less the
same? Did you get very similar responses for each one? If you did, you've made the
mistake of thinking that these three concepts, expectations, standards,
and pickiness are the same thing. They are not. And if you think that they are,
it's going to drastically slow your process of getting a boyfriend.
Okay? So let's have a closer look at these concepts so I can explain what I mean.
We'll start with the expectations. Your expectations are what you think should
come or should happen in a situation. In other words, it's your default.
If you expect to get paid $1,000 a week, that's your expectation. Your expectations
determine how you feel. If you get paid less than a thousand dollars, you'll get pissed
off. But if you get paid more than a thousand dollars you'll be grateful. On the other hand,
if you're expecting to get $10,000 you'd be pissed off. In both of those scenarios.
Your expectations do not change what you get. They have no effect on that.
Your expectation only determine how you feel. Standards. Okay, so standards
are the filter of what you will and won't accept into your life. If you have high
standards in accountants, it means you're only using the best accountants,
and if you have high standards in men, it means you're only filtering in the best
men. Standards determine what you will get. And what about being picky
or pickiness? Well, pickiness is sort of standards, but it's applied on a much
more superficial level. So if your standard is a guy that's loyal, that puts in effort,
that's genuine, it's going to take time for you to get to know that.
Pickiness is standards applied on a much more superficial level. If you've ever heard
a woman say, if I'd met my boyfriend/ partner on Tinder, I would swiped no.
Then you've seen the difference, and I hate hearing this line by way, but you'll
have seen the difference between pickiness and standards. Cause what that woman
is essentially saying is that, thank God I met this guy in real life because I was
able to apply standards. Whereas if I'd been on Tinder or I was being picky,
I would have missed him.
Okay. Say your expectations will determine how you feel while standards
and being picky will determine what you get.
The difference between standards and being picky is in the way you apply them.
Standard takes longer and a bit more effort while being picky is quick but
only superficial. What you really want, if you and I are both honest is a man
that meets your standards. It's a man who's loyal, who's effortful, who's a
great communicator, who works on the relationship with you, who's great
in bed. These are your standards as well as physical attractiveness.
The problem is these standards, as I said, are very hard to apply to a lot of men.
The temptation therefore is to be picky instead. Take my client, Jess.
In one week she had over 70 matches on Plenty Of Fish. We wrote her a
profile and of course men were responding to it. The problem was she had
abundance overwhelm like many of you will as well. She was so overwhelmed
by the thought of applying standards, which are things that take time, things
that take, getting to know someone that she had to resort to being picky
to deal with the situation.
The problem is being picky doesn't work. All it shows you is physical attractiveness
and it rules in a lot of the guys that you don't want and rules out a lot of
the guys that actually would have met your standards. The temptation for Jess
was to be picky over those 70 guys to deal with the problem. But what she
really needed to do was to just do a little bit at a time, maybe respond to seven
in a week, but apply standards to those seven. Let's have a look at how these
practically affect your dating. If you're picky, you won't meet many men at all.
You won't have a chance to apply your standards to the guy that you like.
If you're not picky, but you have high expectations, you'll meet a lot of men,
but you'll get pissed off when they're not what you want and you want to quit
dating and stop taking action.
Whereas if you're not picky, if you don't have expectations, but you keep your
standards damn high, you'll keep wanting to get out there.
You'll keep appreciating and enjoying the process and you'll take the action
that will eventually lead you to finding a boyfriend that meets your standards
in the shortest amount of time possible. So when someone asks you how high
your expectations with the men you date, answer, you know what? I have no
expectations for the men I date. If someone asks you how picky are you with the men
you date? You say, you know what? I'm not picky at all with the men I date.
I'm very open minded and if someone asks you how high your standards with
the men you date? You say, they are really f***ing high.
Pickiness, standards, and expectations are very different concepts and if you
want to find a boyfriend in the shortest amount of time possible, you need to
understand that. Keep it in mind and apply it in your dating.
Well that's it. Thank you so much for watching. I hope that gives you a
really important concept in finding a boyfriend. Let me know your thoughts.
What do you think? Comments, questions. I want to hear them space below.
Put them in. I want to know your thoughts on what you think of the video.
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to seeing you in the next video very soon.
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