- Hey, let's talk about laws.
Laws are intended to protect us, you know, keep us in line,
because humans are naturally savage.
But sometimes, lawmakers go overboard
and create laws that are really unnecessary
and actually really bizarre and weird.
Let's talk about those!
(donkey braying)
(gavel pounding)
Here are the 10 most bizarre laws in America.
Number 10 is it's illegal to drive blindfolded in Alabama.
Did you really need a law for this one?
I don't think so!
This commonsense law defies common sense
that it even needs to be a law.
But if the good people in the state legislature
in Montgomery are setting a law,
someone must've been flying blind
down a road in sweet home Alabama.
In 2014, the Alabama Department of Motor Vehicles
created a new rule for the road.
It prohibits the obstruction
of drivers' view or driving mechanism.
In other words, at some point,
somebody must've been driving down the street
with something covering their eyes to be like,
"Let's see how fast I can go, yee-haw!"
Most of these laws are created
just to save ourselves from ourselves.
Number nine is a woman can't marry
the same man four times in Kentucky.
Kentucky is famous for its purebred horses,
namesake music, being bluegrass,
and its famous export, bourbon.
And that last one might be the reason
that lawmakers decided to make this law,
'cause they were just having a little too much.
Southern belles of Kentucky are free to marry
and divorce three different men three times
or four men twice,
but forget about marrying the same man four times.
That's a big no-no.
You know, there's probably some logic to this law
because if it didn't work out the first three times,
why would you try it a fourth?
Some people believe that this law was created
to prevent unnecessary divorce proceedings
clogging up the courts.
Although, at the end of the day,
if someone wants to marry someone four times,
well they should be able to do that.
However, it's probably not gonna work out
'cause it's been four times!
So, you know, maybe go find someone else that's nice,
maybe on a dating website.
You never know.
Number eight is it's illegal to sell your eyeballs in Texas.
They say that Texas is one of the freest states
in the United States of America,
with its guns, barbecue, and rodeo clowns.
But one thing that you can't do in the Lone Star state
is sell your own eyeballs.
Wait, why would you wanna do that?
'Cause you only have two; what?
Well, that sounds downright un-American,
considering your body is a goldmine
full of blood, hair, bodily fluids,
and even organs considered nonessential to survive
that you could sell off, although I wouldn't recommend it
'cause that's some black market stuff.
But somebody at some point must've tried,
because Texas Penal Code 48.02, set into law in 2009,
prohibits the sale of human organs,
including kidneys, livers, hearts,
and of course those beautiful peepers.
Those found guilty of this can face
up to a year in county jail, plus a $4,000 fine.
But for Texans still tempted to harvest your own organs,
you are allowed to sell your hair and blood plasma.
I'd also like to mention that this is just a misdemeanor;
that's it, for selling your eyeballs!
What's wrong with you people?!
Number seven is trick-or-treating is illegal
after 12 years old in Virginia.
I mean, is this one really so bad?
Do you really want someone like me walking up
and being like, "Trick or treat, I'm so lonely"?
Virginia may be for lovers,
but it's certainly not for teenagers on Halloween night,
where kids older than 12
are forbidden from trick-or-treating.
As little ghosts, ghouls, and goblins
terrorize their neighborhoods for candy,
it's the Virginia teenagers
who are considered the real monsters.
Various city codes have legally restricted them
since the 1970s from trick-or-treating.
Cheapskate teens who break the law
can be subject to $100 fines and even six months in jail.
Considered a Class 4 misdemeanor,
the laws are surprisingly difficult to enforce
but are seen as a way to curb the tricks,
such as vandalism, egging, and TPing.
Well, you can stop me from trick-or-treating,
but you can't stop me from dressing up on Halloween.
You know, I'm always gonna go out as Christopher Walken.
It's crazy!
It's creepy.
Number six are no couches on porches in Boulder, Colorado.
You'd think that Colorado,
one of the most libertarian states in the nation
that was the first to sell recreational marijuana
would let you put your couch wherever the heck you want.
But not in Boulder, Colorado,
where a sofa ordinance is in full effect
on University Hill near the University of Colorado campus.
Get off your porch, no sitting there!
It's the devil!
Now, the law may sound ridiculous at first,
but the Boulder students have a tendency
to light easily-accessible furniture found on porches
on fire late at night after parties.
Believe it or not, incidents have led to vehicles
and homes catching on fire in the dry, fire-prone region.
So, the city controls the top-tiered academic pyromaniacs
by issuing $100 citations for first-time offenders.
And that $100 could buy a lotta beer,
and that is enough to stop any university student,
so well done.
Number five is mustachioed men cannot kiss women
in public in Eureka, Nevada.
Legally speaking, Movember is a romantic dead-zone
in Eureka, Nevada, where mustachioed males
are forbidden from kissing women in public.
"Meh, come here, honey.
"You wanna kiss me?
"Meh."
Mustache laws were passed in states
and municipalities all over the United States
during the 18th and 19th centuries
to govern the tidiness of men's facial hair.
Mustache discrimination was commonplace
throughout the early 20th century,
with men actually found guilty of contempt.
And a Washington, D.C. firefighter
actually won the right to keep his 'stache and job,
thanks to the District of Columbia Human Rights Act.
However, the Eureka law still discriminates
against horny hipsters and old-timey saloon proprietors,
but it is no longer enforced.
So, all you criminal mustachioed masterminds
with your handlebar or curlicues can grab your girl
and cry out, "Eureka!" (smooching)
Number four is minors can't play pinball in South Carolina.
Tommy the Pinball Wizard
from The Who's classic 1975 double album
couldn't have become the arcade wonderkid in South Carolina,
where minors aren't allowed to play.
Now, this law is of course ridiculous and arcane.
But back in the day of penny arcades,
pinball machines dispensed tickets and tokens
that could be redeemed for cash and prizes.
So, technically, playing pinball was gambling
and an arcade was akin to a casino,
so many states adopted similar measures
to protect children from vice and depravity.
By the mid-1970s, various US courts
ruled that pinball was a game of skill,
unlike a slot machine.
So, the pinball law requiring an ID to play was,
of course, nullified across the country,
including South Carolina,
yet the law still stands on the books.
"Hey kid, you wanna play some pinball?
"Give me some quarters, we'll make it happen." (laughing)
Number three is that donkeys can't sleep in bathtubs
in Kingman, Arizona.
This crazy law kind of makes an ass out of Arizonians
because donkeys have been banned
from sleeping in bathtubs since 1924.
Why you gotta be discriminatory?
Them asses gotta clean themselves too!
Nobody likes a dirty ass.
Clean ass.
Ass jokes.
But besides the obvious queries,
like why would a donkey sleep in a bathtub
and how would it even fit,
there is actually historical precedent for this law.
In Kingman, Arizona, a rancher had a spoiled donkey
who preferred napping in a tub to the drafty old barn.
But then, a dam broke,
flooding the town and surrounding the area,
including the rancher's land,
taking his precious donkey down the wash into the basin.
After the town devoted considerable resources and manpower
to rescue the donkey in its porcelain sleeping quarters,
they enacted the law banning donkeys
from sleeping in bathtubs after 7 p.m.
So, I guess before then it's okay.
Logic, not the strongest suit of a lotta lawmakers, clearly.
Number two is bear wrestling matches
are outlawed in Alabama.
Leave it to Alabama to show up twice in one video
with their weird laws,
like this one that prohibits the unlawful bear exploitation,
which is good, except it also includes wrestling bears.
In the time before Facebook, YouTube, and Netflix,
Alabamans got their thrills at county fairs,
watching bear wrestling matches, either bear versus bear or,
yes, you guessed it, bear versus man.
Promoters of these matches
claimed bears were natural wrestlers,
with their ability to stand on their hind legs
and their brute strength was a marvel of nature.
But of course, it was next-level animal cruelty,
which is not okay.
You treat them animals nice!
In May of 1996, the Alabama Senate voted unanimously
to ban bear wrestling for profit,
so therefore surgically altering a bear
or training it to wrestle is now a Class B felony.
But, and this one's just gonna twist your mind,
Alabamans can still legally wrestle a bear
in the wild on the bear's own terms.
"(growling) You wanna go?
"You're in my world now. (growling)"
And number is one is you can be arrested
for harassing Big Foot in Skamania County, Washington.
Well, this one's just the cherry on the crazy cake.
Big Foot must have one heck of a lawyer,
because he has the law on his side
in the gun-happy Pacific Northwest,
where you can go to jail for one year if you shoot him.
Granted, there's no scientific proof
that Big Foot actually exists.
But, hey, why not have a law protecting him, huh?
The Sasquatch, which is Native American language
for large, hairy man-monster,
was first sighted in 1811 in Alberta, Canada,
and has been seen across North America,
especially in Skamania County.
The county commissioners,
concerned with all the heavily-armed
paranormal hunters visiting,
declared a Sasquatch protection and refugee area in 1984.
And believe it or not,
it was even followed in 1991 by neighboring Whatcom County
and its one-million-plus acres.
"Sir, we've got a lotta issues today,
"what do you wanna handle first?"
"Save the Big Foot!"
So, those are the 10 most bizarre laws in America.
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Thank you guys for watching and I'll see you next time.
Make sure to keep your ass clean. (record scratching)
Donkey.
Keep your donkey clean in the bathtub.
Anyway, bye!