Welcome back to the show.
Rhett, according to the classic
ad agency adage, sex sells,
but let's say you want to sell something sexily,
but you don't have the budget to do a photo shoot yourself,
what do you do?
Ask Kate Upton for a favor?
Wrong!
You do a little digging through that royalty free resource
that can solve any problem, stock photography.
Mmhmm, as it turns out there are tons
of stock photos of people kissing weird stuff.
Hmm.
Which brings me to our game that we're gonna play today.
It's time to play
♪ I kissed a (beep) and I liked it, ♪
♪ I hope my best friend can't guess it. ♪
All right, you're my best friend.
♪ I hope you can't guess it. ♪
Oh, I'm gonna guess it.
All right, here's how this is gonna work.
I'm gonna show you a stock photo
of a person kissing something strange.
I'm in to that.
But I have censored the strange
something they're kissing, Rhett.
So you have to choose from multiple choice options, okay,
what it is that they are kissing.
What it is. What it is they are kissing.
You must get three of these right,
or you will have to kiss a handful of black pork.
Oh, black pork's coming back huh?
You have to kiss it like you mean it.
If you get three or more right,
then I have to make out with the black pork.
Oh you're gonna make out with it, okay.
Let's get started with this first photo.
Woo this is scandalously censored.
What is this lab worker kissing?
Is he kissing A: a well-dressed cadaver?
Or a topless mannequin, or a different busty lab attendant,
or his doppelganger: a young Rick Moranis?
Ah, I see that, I see that.
I can also see that the girl in the background
was really worried about herself in this picture.
She said I'm not gonna look right at him,
I'm gonna look right at the camera.
Well this is stock photography.
This is my moment.
You gotta do big time.
A lot of people make their break in stock photography.
Brad Pizitt. Pitt? No.
Brad Pizitt, different guy.
Well dressed cadaver, that would be gross.
But it is stock photography.
I think she's a little upset that he is kissing
another lab attendant, C.
All right, let's find out what he's kissing.
(buzzer)
- [Rhett] Oh gosh.
- [Link] It is a busty mannequin, is what's happening here.
- [Rhett] Still busty, I was right about that.
Right, but you don't get any points.
Also this is considered second base inside of Nordstrom.
Nordstrom, oh. Nordstroms.
Got it, got it, cause it's a mannequin.
Yeah.
A lot of mannequin's in Nordstrom.
I love it when you process my jokes verbally.
Yeah, me too.
- [Link] What is this woman kissing?
Is she kissing a bandaged man bleeding from the eyes?
A professional table tennis play
with ping pong balls for eyes,
a taxidermized bobcat with googly eyes,
or the eye of Sauron?
There's a lot of smoke, but the eye of Sauron is large.
A lot bigger than that.
Mmhmm.
Could be the mini-eye.
Bandaged man bleeding from the eyes?
All these are so stupid and why would anyone ever come up
with the idea to have a stock photo of this?
Therein lies the beauty of stock photography.
What pamphlet is this for?
Well that an extra credit question, Rhett.
Well since I am a professional
tennis player in the future,
and I've got my balls inside of the Sono pants still,
I'm gonna say B: a professional table tennis player
with ping pong balls for eyes.
All right, let's see.
Bam! no.
It is a bandaged man with bleeding eye balls.
What is happening?
That is demented, man. Where is this?
Who thinks this crap up?
- [Rhett] Maybe she's rescuing him?
No this is actually just the break room at hot topic.
(laughs)
Actual photo.
I've been there man.
- [Link] Look at this next photo.
- [Rhett] T-shirts for days.
- [Link] Is this lady kissing a dead alligator,
a dead fish, a dead frog, or her dreams of being
anything more than a stock photo model good-bye?
Oh, come on, don't be hard on her.
Dead alligator? No.
Dead fish, potentially.
Dead frog.
It feels elongated in a fish sort of way.
Well the box is elongated.
The box is always elongated.
I'm gonna say B: a dead fish.
You are right, Rhett.
It is a dead fish.
I don't like these new sexy commercials
for Long John Silvers.
Yeah, yeah. Not good.
If that was deep fried, that would be appetizing.
Right, she's a chef.
Right.
This is a how to stock photo.
Here's the next one.
What is this clown bride kissing?
- [Rhett] Oh gah, what is happening?
- [Link] Is she kissing a zombie foot,
a shampoo bottle, a black raven,
or a goth magician named Criss Angel.
Oh he's making a comeback?
Oh, there's only one of him?
There's a whole set of those.
It's like Manuto, they keep trading out the Criss Angels.
Oh, really.
I didn't know that.
Black raven, that would be a baby black raven.
It's possible.
Shampoo bottle, this could be a shampoo ad.
I could see that because of the beautiful purple hair.
I'm gonna go with zombie foot though.
He's going with zombie foot.
Yeah.
You've only got one right so far, Rhett.
Let's find out.
(buzzer)
It is a black raven, dude.
I haven't been paying attention to the stock trends.
You obviously have not been to an after party
at the gathering of the Juggalos.
Oh yeah, but I plan on it.
They do this type of stuff.
All right, looks like you're gonna
have to make out with some black pork,
but I'll give you two points for this one so it's do or die.
Oh.
- [Link] Who is this weird looking guy kissing or what?
Is he kissing a clown kissing a raven,
a big sexy block of wood, irony contest award winner:
Bill Loser, or are you kissing your asp goodbye?
- [Rhett] Oh, asp.
I got you for a second.
That's a snake.
Now I don't remember this.
This is for who gets to kiss the black pork.
But I feel like I am very sad,
so I think I'm kissing my asp goodbye.
I'm gonna go with the D.
You're going for D?
I'm going with the D.
I think you put an asp in there.
All right, let's find out what he's kissing.
It's your asp goodbye!
That's right, you gonna let me win?
Your wife is a very understanding woman,
and for that reason, I will make out with the black pork.
Yes, you will. Good gracious.
We'll get to that in a second.
For now, thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing.
You know what time it is.
This is Carly.
And this is Laura.
And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
Click the bottom link to watch
today's episode from the beginning.
And click the top link to watch us make magic mud masks
and to watch me make out
with black pork in Good Mythical More.
And to find out where
the Wheel of Mythicality is going to land.