I will give a brief overview of what I have been going through, and what I just found out.
I was married for a long time, we were friends before marriage, while I did not know at the time, her cheating started at the very beginning.
I was the romantic guy that did everything for my ex.
I was the one that did the cooking, cleaning, and everything in the house, not to mention I was the one that worked and paid bills.
She never once did anything, originally claiming she could not do anything, because she was getting her degree.
A degree that she paid for with my hard work, and something she did during our marriage without ever discussing it with me.
I only found out, because almost two thousand dollars was taken out of my account, yes it was mine, because I had not been able to add her to it yet.
She made it where I was forced into it without knowing and went to a college for health coaching.
At the time, I loved her, and we agreed to do this, but she would find a job to help with some of the expenses.
For the record, she never got a job until the end of the marriage.
I spent the remainder of the marriage working more and more.
I worked as a graphic artist for a newspaper, so I would do work with it as well as work some freelance on the side to make money for us.
The more I worked, the more she spent, so the 84 hours I worked in one week, and the 72 the next was thrown away into her spending on what she wanted.
I was also the one trying to make time for us, being romantic, cooking a special meal, homemade as I had to make my own red pepper sauce, because she could not eat tomatoes, and so much more, being there to help with her homework, bring her coffee, and homemade
desserts, being the one to try and talk, being the one to initiate sex, I mean romance trying to dance with her, show her I love her, writing poems and foreplay, pleasing her, and making sure her needs were met, I was never thanked, or at least told anything.
During all this, she was having emotional affairs, as well as physical ones with exes.
She would yell at me claiming we did not have enough money, and it was stressing her out, something I found funny, as she never once helped with anything, her family even said that my job was to keep her happy, and work, so she did not have to.
So now comes to the point, I found out about her cheating, and we agreed to work on ourselves.
For a while, things were great, but then I got sick.
I had worked to the point that I never had a break for me, and between stress and everything, I got sick.
Turns out, she was cheating with other men all along.
When I got to the point that I could barely move without the pain in my abdomen and such, her parents and she had been talking about lying to me.
They originally told me that they were trying to get me some medical help, but turns out, from what I heard them talk about over the phone one night, was a lie.
They were talking about how once I died, she would have my life insurance policy as well, as to be able to sue the medical system for not doing their job.
There is so much more to this, and while I am going the short route about this, trust me, this version makes her look nicer than she really is.
Eventually, she started cheating with a married man, by that time, she wanted a divorce.
I remember this all too well, as she woke me up at 3 in the morning on Christmas day to tell me she wanted a divorce by saying, “I can’t believe he is dead, I had planned on going back to him as soon as you died”.
Turns out one of her AP’s died, an ex, and it hurt that she was still waiting for me to croak for the sole purpose of her getting my money.
We eventually got a divorce, though because of illness and being heavily medicated, was not sure I ever signed the papers, this is important.
However, a few months after everything, I was told it went through.
She of course left to be with her AP, and is now married.
Now since I have been healthy again, had to move out of West Virginia to get diagnosed and treated, I have found she has been having a blog where she has claimed I abused her, cheated on her, and other things, all of which are lies.
During this time, I figured that anyone would believe a liar who cannot keep her lies straight within her blog post, or even a paragraph, would be someone I did not want to be around.
So, I moved forward and worked on myself.
Since then, I have got back my life, while I am working out to get back the body I had, I also managed to get an amazing job, my own house I love, and have a chance to remodel my dream home, I am living an hour
and a half away from the beach, and while I still have trust issues, and in all honesty, should stop watching some crime shows and documentaries, as it is making me wonder about dating in general, I am doing ok.
I still have my bad days, but in all, I am doing well.
Now comes this Friday, I was cleaning some stuff up as I still have boxes to unpack.
So, while taking some paperwork and putting it into my filing cabinet, I came upon my divorce papers.
To put it bluntly, I was taken aback.
There was my signature, my name in her own writing.
I honestly do not know what was going through her mind to do this though, if I was honest, she did this even during the marriage when she wrote checks.
She signed my name; I quickly called my friend Richard about this, who is a lawyer, and he told me he would have to look into this when he gets into the office Monday, but from what he says, there is a chance that I could still be married to this woman.
Which means, she is married to two men.
My first thought is to fix this quietly as I do not want this person back into my life, nor do I want her to have a chance to take what I now have.
My friend the lawyer said he would look into it and told me not to worry.
That was Friday night, and since then, I have been stressing some and worrying about it.
I have kept myself busy, but even then, there are moments I have wondered is this my chance to get closure and finish with her.
Maybe use this to have her take everything down, and stop lying about me, so I do not have that causing me issues.
As it did cause me issues, starting out with finding a job again.
One part of me wants to just take care of it quietly, and not have to deal with her.
But I admit I have this nagging feeling that keeps telling me she deserves this, and so much more.
Won't know my options until tomorrow at some time.
Please any advice would help, what should I do?
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