- Hey, everyone, it's Pastor Cal.
[pop] [chatter]
- And Dr. Pepper.
Let's talk about sex.
- [laughing]
- You are, from this moment, engaged.
- Actually, I'm tearing up.
- This is "Married at First Sight:
Relationship Rewind."
[dramatic musical sting]
Each week, Dr. Pepper and I watch a clip
from the latest episode of "Married at First Sight,"
and we're gonna give you our honest,
no B.S. reaction.
- This will be the very first time
we're watching this footage, and tonight,
we're looking at a very difficult conversation
between Airris and Jasmine about love.
[dramatic musical sting]
- When was the last time you been in love?
- Oh, boy. - Yes, I would definitely say
in my last relationship, I was in love.
- He brought this up. - Yeah.
- I love the game,
but I never been-- I never been in love.
- Hold up. - What does that mean?
- "I love the game."
What does that mean? - I'm afraid I know
what it means. - "I love being a player"?
- Yeah. I think that's what he's saying.
That's how I take it in as a woman.
"I love the game." - Yeah.
- Airris is a nice person. - Yes.
- I like Airris. We wouldn't have picked him
if we didn't like him a lot. - Yes.
- Just think of her a little bit.
Keep playing.
- I've loved, but I never been in love, like...
- Yeah. - Head-over-heels,
blinders on, only thinking about this one person.
Googly eyes.
That ain't never happen. - He's got this weird idea
what love is, you know? - Stop that.
- Yeah. - I mean, like it's gotta be
heart-stopping, googly eyes, and if it isn't that,
it isn't love? - Unfortunately,
this is the definition that we see so often.
What he's talking about is lust and infatuation.
- Well, I think he's like looking at movies too much.
- [laughing] Yeah. - [laughing] You know?
I mean... - Yeah. And it never lasts.
- No.
- It's not a sustaining emotion.
- Anybody who has ever been in a good marriage
knows that the love you are in later
is way better than the love you were in earlier.
- Exactly!
And that is the whole growth process.
- Oh, well, let's go on. - Yeah.
- Mm. Okay.
- She's hurt. You can see that in her face.
- Wow... - She's worried.
- Okay. - [groans] Ugh...
- I'm processing right now.
Knowing that he's been in, like,
a year and a half relationship,
like, there's no way I can stay in a relationship
that long if... if I'm not in love, so...
- Yeah.
isn't enough for him,
then he could possibly not fall in love with me either.
And that's scary. - Okay, let's stop that.
That's the issue.
I often tell people that love is not the feeling part.
Love is a commitment part.
And the feeling part is great. It's like the icing on love.
But the cake of love is the commitment.
- I think that's really wise.
And I think he was more connected
to this woman he was with
than he's letting himself realize.
- Exactly. - And now she's given
her perfect reaction, which is, wait a minute.
He was in a year and a half, and he didn't call that love?
- Yes! - What was he doing there?
Who is he, right? - Exactly, exactly.
And her response is absolutely appropriate.
- Right. - And a part of her concern
might be: will he recognize what I'm doing as love?
- Well, one of the things everybody should do--
just ask the other person.
- Ask the other person! - Right?
- Do you understand that what I'm doing
is me loving you, you know? - Exactly.
And if it isn't what you need,
tell me what you need. - Yes!
- I don't think I've ever...
- Met someone who's never been in love?
- Yeah. You're 39, and you've never been in love.
And we're married, and we have this short time frame
to figure out if we wanna stay together or not.
So, like... - Right.
- You have to be in love at the end of this
to say yes. - Nah...
- Stop it, stop it! - No, no, no, no, no.
- Yeah, you know, I know you're thinking
like what I'm thinking... - No, no, no, no.
- Which is it's not a short time frame.
We try over and over to say... - Oh, my God!
- Eight weeks is when we're here, not when you're here.
- Exactly. - And they just make it
this eight-week vision.
- Did they forget everything we tell them
during the interviews,
our private meetings-- they forget everything.
You don't have to be in love!
- We're here to help you during this period,
but it's the beginning, you don't have to be
in love at the end, you just--
I mean, we both said our version of
you just have to be liking this person a lot,
seeing possibilities
getting to know them... - That's it.
- Starting to form a bond.
This is where we're here to help you,
that we're talking about a lifetime commitment,
and you can't make it
an eight-week commitment. - You cannot.
- Anyhow, let's go on. - Ugh.
- This is upsetting. Ha.
- You might not be in love at the end either.
- I know. - Yeah.
- But do you have to be in love to say yes?
- Ooh. - Good question.
Good question, Jas!
- Well, I don't know the answer to that.
♪ ♪
'Cause if I've never been in love...
- You don't expect to fall in eight weeks.
- It would seem pretty hard to fall in love, yeah.
I'm not saying that it's impossible.
I'm just saying, like... - [laughs]
- That's not the question she asked, though.
[dramatic music]
- You know, it's such a...
- That is not the question she asked.
- No. - She asked, do you need to
be in love to stay in it after eight weeks?
- Yeah. - And he just talked about love
in general--he didn't answer the question.
People think that honesty is telling them
every hesitation, every worry,
every bad thought that goes through their head.
You have to think through what you say.
Words matter, and they last. - Yes.
But, I mean, they're just starting.
All she wants is a possibility. - Yes.
- All she wants to know is
that there's a possibility of this working,
there's a possibility-- and he has it within him
to give her that. - I agree.
- He's a smart guy, so he just now has to
get the right words to convey the proper message,
and I think that they could turn this around.
'Cause I know she's ready. - Oh, yeah.
- Well, that is all the time we have
for this Relationship Rewind.
- We'll see you next time.
♪ ♪
♪ Your hand in mine ♪