Today we are doing another Dear Authors.
We are talking about friendships, which has come highly recommended
probably because I am so into really strong friendships in fiction.
Just in general and not just books.
If someone can do a diehard, would do anything for you,
we're like two parts of one person kind of friendship,
I eat that stuff up.
People have wanted a Dear Authors on friendships for a while.
I've been putting it off because I dont know how much interest
there actually is for it, but I'm doing it.
I made a community post asking people
what works well, what doesn't seem to work so well
for writing really strong friendships like Locke and Jean from
The Lies of Locke Lamora.
Sam and Frodo or like a Legolas and Gimli
from The Lord of the Rings. Those diehard friendships that are
just there for each other
no matter the circumstance, no matter what's happening.
I love that probably more than I love anything else in fiction.
Let's talk about what makes them great
and what makes them fall a little bit flat sometimes.
I'm going to start with this comment
because it's the most frequent comment that I got.
It's the most repetitive answer that people gave,
and its,"Friends don't need to fall in love.
You can have two men or two women
that love each other like brothers and sisters
and would die for each other.
Romantic love doesn't ever have to be involved."
We're talking about building strong friendships.
Don't make it romantic is a fairly reasonable response [chuckles]
and I agree with it.
If we're talking about friendships, friends to lovers is actually
one of my favorite romance tropes. I love friends to lovers,
but I also love platonic friendships that stay platonic.
If we're talking about friendships,
obviously, we're not talking about romance.
Moving on, "I hate the perfect protagonist and the best friend who's
only there to follow the hero around and be the sidekick/comic relief.
Whenever I see this, I think why is the best friend
even friends with the hero?
The best friendships are the ones where each person brings
brings something to the table."
I will say this, I don't think there's anything wrong
with the comic relief character.
Fred and George, Merry and Pippin,
these characters are layered not just a comic relief,
I want to say that really clearly.
The characters that generally insert themselves to make a joke,
these characters are not a problem.
These characters are widely loved.
If we're trying to build best friends, diehard friends,
that companionship, that is on a whole another level,
having the main character and then the side comic relief
is never going to be that.
This person said it well, they have to be their own person
that brings something to the table that is their own complete human
and not just the comedic relief, not just the one that
inserts themselves whenever the hero is in trouble,
whenever the hero needs them, but otherwise, they barely exist.
The side character has to be as much of a holistic character
as the main character is.
Look at Frodo and Samwise Gamgee.
Samwise is generally loved more than Frodo.
I'm not going to say always because I know that's not true.
Generally, Samwise gets a lot more love amongst
The Lord of the Rings fandom than Frodo does.
Why? Because Samwise isn't just the happy-go-lucky plucky companion.
He is a whole character in and of himself.
Oftentimes, Frodo fully relies on him for his life.
Samwise regularly tells Frodo, "Stop being dumb.
You can't go to Mordor on your own.
I'm going to help you," and the mission would have failed
without Samwise.
Don't get me wrong, Frodo is a great character
and we sell him at the worst of the worst being
deeply influenced by a very dark power.
I love Frodo, but there's a reason Samwise is so deeply loved
and it's because he's more than just the sidekick that gets
things done or that provides some sort of relief.
He is a whole character in and of himself
and he can stand alone.
Remove Frodo, Samwise can stand alone.
Bring Frodo in, Samwise is even better because
he's also Frodo's greatest companion who would do anything for him.
I like to believe if we remove the ring from the equation,
Frodo would do the same for Samwise.
"I truly dislike when authors treat any friend of the protagonist
as a catalyst for the plot and don't give them enough space to develop
aside from the main characters."
This is just layering on what we just talked about,
but if the companion is-- If the best friend is nothing more than
a companion, a help to move the plot forward,
to give the main character growth.
Basically the equivalent of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
the love interest that does nothing but help the character grow,
help the main character become a better version of himself or
get through the plot, but she doesn't actually stand on her own at all.
all. This is just as bad if it's the best friend being
the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, being nothing but a helping hand
to the plot or to the main character.
Remove those things, and this character can't stand
on their own feet.
"Friendship takes time.
Just because both of their dead mothers have the same names
doesn't mean that their friendship will be instantaneous.
It can be off to a good start but it has to be tested."
Then more of also the main character needs to have a personality.
I love this and a great example I'm going to talk about
I'm going to talk about The Lies of Locke Lamora.
Again, a great example is Locke and Jean.
When we get the flashbacks of their childhood,
they do not start off as best friends.
They actually start off with conflict, and with being immature
and not knowing how to relate to each other or how to understand
each other's situation.
From the hardships that they had to go together,
from the experiences they've shared, their relationship has been
more than just friends going through life together, but through two people
that rely on each other, like their life itself depends on it
and who would do anything for each other and who know each other
more than anyone else in the world ever could.
I really want to give really specific examples from
The Lies of Locke Lamora and from, specifically Red Seas Under Red Skies
that just showcases the depth of their friendship, but no, I won't.
If you want to see really amazing friendships done right,
please read the Gentleman Bastard series.
I'll have it linked in the description if you don't know
if you haven't heard me push it on you 100 times yet.
On top of that, another thing that-- I may hijack this video a little bit
because I feel so strongly about friendships.
Another thing is I've seen, so many times,
friendships where people say, "I would die for you.
I would do anything for you."
Especially really early on in the friendship where I'm like,
"I don't believe you. You barely know them."
Just saying these words will never be enough for readers
We like to see things happen.
Show don't tell.
Seeing two characters genuinely sacrifice for each other.
Samwise once again is a great example of that.
Seeing them genuinely sacrifice for each other and give up
their own well-being to see their friend make it through.
Seeing examples of their banter, of the way they talk to each other,
their inside jokes, their inside languages that
they've made up if they have some sort of sign signal.
Thinking about Locke and Jean.
Seeing what they've done, seeing how their connection works,
seeing how the two work together not just saying these are best friends
they'd do anything for each other but actually seeing the little details
the little day-to-day moments that show how in tune with each other
they truly are and how much they genuinely love each other.
These are the things that sell it, not only big extravagant gestures,
but also the little things that show how deep their love truly is,
how deep their connection truly is. These are the things that really
sell the friendship.
"They have to be different people who nevertheless fit well together.
One person's strengths are the other person's weaknesses
and vice versa.
That said, they should also have something in common
that draws them together despite their differences.
The friendship has to grow and evolve over time.
If they both have character arcs, then so does the friendship."
I really like this one.
A lot of what was said in the beginning,
I don't really have anything to add to. Absolutely.
They need to be their own individual people.
Things that make them work together, things that make them connected,
things that make them a good balance to one another.
It was the last sentence that I really love.
"If they have individual arcs, so should their friendship."
I love this. I love seeing a friendship
really be tested and go through the different stages.
They don't even always have to be 100% loyal to each other,
they can have moments of conflict where they fight,
where they even divide at times.
I love when friends never actually get to the dividing point,
Locke and Jean, but they're constantly conflicting,
they're constantly arguing, they're constantly challenging
one another. I also really love when a friendship
actually gets to the point where there is a divide and there is
an issue and they even separate for a bit of time only to
come back together.
A full arc is fantastic for the friendship as well,
not just for the characters.
Now, I'm going to lean back into what I touched on a second ago about
I like it when they don't divide at all.
Let's talk about Locke and Jean again.
Characters are flawed, characters do some things wrong,
characters sometimes make really bad decisions.
Sometimes they go in the wrong direction.
Sometimes they get really down on themselves and just
decide to give up.
When their best friend calls them out and says,
"You're wrong on this one," or, "You're better than this,"
but not in such simple language. They find a better way to do it.
Maybe they throw a bucket of water over their head and tell them,
"Get up and get your act together." Maybe they're harsh with each other.
Maybe they have a heart-to-heart loving conversation,
whatever it takes calling out the other person and telling them
"You're wrong here", and actually, showing them, butting heads
and conflicting, but doing it out of love.
Even if it's done in an aggressive, angry way.
I'm still thinking about Locke and Jean.
Even if it's done in an aggressive angry way
it's all because, I love you more than to let you
act like this. Man, that's good stuff.
That is such good stuff.
Seeing friends that aren't perfect, seeing friends that mess up,
but seeing friends that will not let them wallow,
will not let them give up, will not let them make stupid decisions,
but actually called the greatness out of them. It's the best.
Hey, here's a comment to validate what I just said.
"I love friends that refuse to give up on each other,
especially if they've known each other for years.
"All my favorite friendships center around characters who are
always a team, even when that's hard."
This is not absolutely necessary. Like I said before,
having some sort of divide, having some sort of up and down
is totally okay, but I do agree.
I really love that.
"I really like it when two people with really different personalities
start out not liking each other, but then at some point
later in the story, find out that their differences
can actually make a great friendship."
It doesn't work every time though, and it has to be done well.
I love this too.
There are a lot of ways to build up great friends,
Legolas and Gimli are a good example of this.
"People who start out not liking each other,
whether it's because of some prejudice or whether it's
just because I don't like you, but then as they go through things
together, they realize that they actually complement each other
really well, and develop this amazing love for each other. It's so good.
I read this quote a while ago.
"You know the friendship is true, intimate, heartfelt, and yet
perfectly normal and acceptable to everyone,
including the characters, but when people think they're
they're a ship but they're not."
I like this too. I've noticed that
all of my favorite friendships there is fan fiction out there
about them together. I'm not a shipper,
I can't relate to that, but it is true that when I talk about
friendships, when I talk about people that would die for each other,
when I talk about people that are two parts that make one,
even though they're two separate people,
they work the best together.
When I talk about companionship, when I talk about
true authentic love, this could be-- If you took it all out of context,
I could be talking about real romantic relationships.
I think it's true that two people that just fit so perfectly together
and that just work so well together. It's really easy for people to say,
"They should be a couple."
It's so satisfying when it's like, "No, their relationship,
their love for each other is just genuinely a friendship,
but it is that strong that it makes sense,
that it could go the other way as well.
It is true that it's really common where two people that have
any chemistry, they just naturally get forced together and coupled up
and it's very satisfying when that doesn't happen,
but there is something to be said about why people who have
such great chemistry, people automatically ship them.
It's really satisfying when no, they just have that great chemistry.
"My feeling has always been of two parts of this question, need."
"If they don't uniquely need each other,
then there are no stakes and two, how they communicate.
They should have unique connections in how they communicate:
inside jokes, common slang usage, some sort of shorthand."
"That's where the character of the friendship takes form."
This summarizes it so well. Do they genuinely need each other?
Does the other person genuinely make them a better person?
Is there life better because of them? Are there successes
more because of them? That has to be two way.
It can't just be the sidekick makes life better for the main character.
It has to be so great between them that they're both
the main characters, even though there's only one main character.
Talking about Locke and Jean again, as well as Frodo and Samwise.
Sorry for using the same examples over and over again.
I just feel really passionately about my favorite friendships
but the two together, do they genuinely need each other
in order to accomplish their goals?
Do they genuinely need each other in their lives in order--
The concept of losing their best friend
tears them apart. To the point that, they don't know how their life is
is going to function again. This is really good stuff.
Also bringing it back to those little things, those small moments
that show how truly connected they really are and how really
valuable they truly are.
Not just these grand gestures, not just great declarations,
but actually these little hand gestures
that they both recognize. Inside
Inside jokes, picking on each other, conflict, bickering,
these things that show how deep their love for each other truly is,
and how much they've really been through together.
This stuff, I eat it up.
I'm going to end it on this.
"The personal best friends I have seen in life and read on
the page consist of life-changing events experienced together.
Sometimes the strongest lifelong friendships form over a week
when people who have known each other years haven't achieved that,
suffering together, celebrating great victories together and the willingness to
never leave behind the other no matter what,
for me, makes the best friendships."
Yes.
Like this person said, it could be done over a week.
It could be done over a lifetime.
Maybe they experienced great tragedy together.
Maybe they grew up together or maybe they both
became orphans and had to be raised by chains together.
These things that bring people together, these things that make them
have experienced life together, the greatest part of life
that bond them together.
It could be something small that was incredibly meaningful,
or it could be something huge,
but seeing characters go through this stuff together and then create
a lifelong bond through it, I love it so much.
My computer's going to die, so I'm going to cut it here.
Again, the most frequent comments were, don't couple them up.
Oh my goodness. That comment came up so often.
Make each character uniquely themselves
and relevant and can stand on their own.
Show the little moments that prove that they really have this bond
that show them together, these little things that show us
how great their love and relationship truly is.
Seeing that sacrifice for each other, seeing how much they truly
depend on each other and would do anything for each other.
I'm just going to end it by saying, read The Lies of Locke Lamora.
Read the series. Read as much as you possibly can.
however much is published at the time that you watch this video
read this series.
Also, because it's amazing, but also because this is the best friendship
I've ever read. Be sure to check out
that community tab, there were a lot of great answers there.
Also, continue the conversation down in the comments.
What do you recommend? What are you going to try out now?
I post videos every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
I'll see you again soon. Bye.
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