What do you do when the guys who are your type just don't seem to be available? How
do you handle it when he has a girlfriend and why do your friends seem to be able to
get into relationships despite making classic mistakes and you don't despite doing everything
right? Welcome to another Ask Mark guys. It's Mark here from Make Him Yours and it's great
to have you here for this weekly episode that I do where I basically answer your question
some of the best questions that get sent into me and I pick the ones that I think you will
essentially get the most benefit from. Now, make sure you subscribe if you're not already,
hit the little bell and let's get straight into this week's questions because we've got
some really interesting thought provoking ones this week. And the first one is from
Daniella. Daniella Stefan.
Daniella says Mark, the problem is that all guys I like are not available for me and the
ones that I don't like, they are available. Right. Now, please don't believe that it's
me that I like unavailable men just because they are not available. That's a fair comment,
Daniella. No. The truth is I'm very visual and I like him from the first moment when
I see him only for their looks and my admiration for them has nothing to do with them being
available or not. It's just my luck that each time I liked someone very much, they are not
available. What shall I do? Change my type and be with someone that is available even
if I don't like him. I don't like Playboy macho men. These guys are not like this. I
like delicate looking guys with beautiful features, not something that most women like
in general. Uh, and when I see them, I lose my reason and they are not available. Okay.
There's two important things here, Daniella, that I think all of you will get benefit from.
The first is there's clearly a limiting belief here because you're going, okay, all these
guys with beautiful features, none of them are available Mark, none of them.
What I would it be a stretch to say Daniella, that you're basing this belief of less than
five examples? I would probably say not. This is the equivalent to me going, you know, I
just, I love little cute girls. Uh, I just, just w I don't know, big hips. I just love
that. But they're never available. Never. You say to me, well, Mark, how many, how many
examples are you basing this off? I'm like, three. Clearly there's a limiting belief going
on here Daniella, where are you going all these guys who are this look are unavailable.
Now, with that being said, there's actually something more important to take out this
question and that is the issue of types from coaching men moving to coaching women. One
thing that comes up an enormous amount more is this idea of types and Daniella, you've
basically said that you're talking guys essentially, uh, going for full admiration from the moment
you meet them.
So you've, you've got in your head this idea that, Oh, this is my type. I have to go for
this type. And you're ruling out every other guy which which is the vast majority before
you've even talked to them or connected with them as people, types, guys, we'll get you
into so much trouble because you will narrow that funnel so early and miss out on all these
great people et cetera. Now, that doesn't mean that you go with someone you're not at
all attracted to. It just means that you're connecting with people on a human level and
you're making your type about something real and something deeper. If you're going to have
a type have a type who is a loyal guy, have a type who's an honest guy and have a type
who is a guy who takes charge in his life, have a type, have a guy who is faithful, have
a type of a guy who is family orientated or relationship orientated.
Have a type of a guy who's great in bed, make that you're type. Daniella, you're assessing
guys as you're type based on a look. Do you want a guy with beautiful features who has
none of those qualities I just talked about? Or would you take a guy who is attractive
in his own way and maybe doesn't have the classic features that you've considered your
type, but has everything I talked about. If you really get to know men as humans, then
you're going to get to know them for for deeper things and that's where real standards come
from. How would, how would you look at me if I said not, she's not a blonde D-cup, she's
not my type, right? It's, it's superficial and you're typing for all the wrong reasons.
So guys, if you'd go on a type, type out of things that really matter. Real values from
real men. Good question. Really good question. Second one is from Brenda. And Brenda says,
I have a question. I like this guy and he likes me too, but he has a girlfriend. I always
find myself thinking of texting him, thinking of texting him, thinking of texting him. Either
way, I don't want to seem desperate because I don't want him to lose interest in me. What
should I do? Mark?
Brenda, pull your head in. The guy has a, girlfriend, what are you doing texting him.
What are you doing building, building his interest? If a guy ever comes to you with
a girlfriend and says, I want something to happen here. Do you know what you say to him?
You say sort out your relationship, let your girlfriend know that you're now interested
in ending things and then we can talk. That's it. That's all you say. There's other channels
that give you advice on how to manipulate these types of men into a relationship and
how to get them in and if that's a sort of advice you want, you can unsubscribe from
this one and go to one of them cause you're not going to get it here. What you'll get
here is dating advice that comes from a place of high self esteem and a place of abundance
and that is the only advice that's ever going to work in the long term. There are other
available men out there and you don't have to go after one who has a girlfriend and is
flirting with you. So he's showing a huge amount of weakness in his character as it
is.
Last question comes from Marlena. Marlena. Marlena. Marlena. Thank you for the tips.
However, I want to ask you something about the first one. So just to put this in context,
this was from the How to Make Men Chase You video about building an exciting life that
men want to be a part of. Marlena says, I love my life even though I still didn't achieve
my dreams, but I'm heading there and working to succeed. So in comparison with me, some
of my girlfriends have no dreams and are in jobs they hate, yet they're married with kids.
How is this possible? They got together with them and when they were still trying to figure
out what they wanted to do, they're nice girls, but how did they meet them in so easily? Marlena,
you're comparing apples and oranges here. You can't compare your journey to theirs.
See, this isn't a linear thing where you do X number of things and you're going to get
the person.
There's people in bad relationships everywhere. Now, I'm not saying that your friends are
in bad relationships. They could be in amazing relationships, but there's people everywhere,
everywhere in relationships who shouldn't be. There's people everywhere who tolerate
relationships they shouldn't tolerate, treatment they shouldn't tolerate and people who would
just comfortable and not even in love anymore. The reports, the statistics is like 11.4%
of marriages are rated as very happy or higher. You can't judge your success ironically in
getting relationship coaching by your ability to get a relationship. You see, that's what
people think that I do, but what I really coach guys is happiness. Sometimes I coach
people to stay single. That might sound odd, but I've had clients say to me, I'm so glad
I met you so that I got this coaching. If it wasn't for you, I know that by now I would
have settled for the wrong relationship with the wrong guy.
So for now I'm staying single and building my confidence and feeling great about myself
and I know I'm going to attract the right guy in the future. Sometimes in the short
term, being single is this is the successful way you have to go with this. You know, I
can't speak for your friends' relationships, but I can speak for other parts of their life
that you've told me about. You've said they have no dreams and they're tolerating jobs
that they hate. Are they happy? Do you think if they're unhappy, even for eight hours a
day, five days a week, but that's gonna reflect in the quality of their relationships. You
can't compare your journey to theirs. You're making yourself happy in your own way and
they have their own dramas to deal with. What I can say is that a lot of people who tolerate
sitting in their comfort zone when they're not really happy in one area of their life
are going to do that in other areas of their life too.
I can't comment on their relationship specifically, but I dare say it's probably not the dream
that you think it is. So Marlena, don't compare and for you as well, don't compare your journey
with someone else's. Sometimes the success is in finding yourself and finding your own
happiness and guys being single, women constantly undervalue the value of being single the way
it allows you to grow, the way it forces you to change the amount of character that it
builds. All this contributes enormously to you. And when you meet someone maybe a little
bit later on than your friends, you are going to meet someone who's far better attuned to
you and you're going to have more confidence and more growth behind you. And odds are better
relationships. So do not judge your success compared to that of your friends. They have
other struggles clearly that they are dealing with. You do the right things, you make yourself
happy, and ultimately, if you're making yourself happy in your own life, you're building those
positive mental habits. You're going after your dreams, chasing them off your love and
your tweaking along the way to have great interactions with men. You are going to find
the absolute best person for you and the fulfilling relationship you've been looking for. But
even if somehow you didn't, you're still going to be happy.
That's the bottom line. Feel happy. How are you not going to attract that man though?
So guys, thanks for watching. That's Ask Mark for this week. Make sure you leave your question,
leave your question, do it. Leave it below. Hit the thumbs up button. They make sure to
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all notifications of when the new videos are on. Guys, thank you for watching. Uh, you're
the best. Leave a comment below and I shall see you in a week.