Media often depicts jealousy in a very outward manner with demonstrations such as:
unhealthy obsessions, possessiveness, and inappropriate ways of acting out.
But, what about jealousy that is subtle and hard to read?
Introverts, for instance, are naturally more mysterious by nature
because they tend to internalize their thoughts, and feelings rather than being an open book.
This makes it hard to tell whether or not an introvert is jealous
So what are some effective strategies to read them?
Here are five signs an introvert is jealous.
One: They want to be just like you.
Although having someone copy you might seem flattering initially. There's more to that underneath the surface
According to psychotherapist Robby Ludwig
Displaying copycat tendencies is a phase someone goes through to develop their individuality.
However, Ludwig states that
"If the phase lasts too long then it can be an indicator that the person is missing an essential core of who they are."
To make up for this emptiness, and lack of strong sense of self
they end up trying to be someone else hoping to fill the void that lies within them.
The copycat tendencies she speaks of is more intense than just following a fashion trend, or engaging in activities that are considered culturally hip or cool.
If an introvert is jealous, they are more naturally inclined to internalize the Green Monster.
Instead of being outward and upfront about it, they may admire you from afar and copy your work or lifestyle.
Ludwig states that extreme copying reveals the individual's low self-esteem. An inferiority complex.
Celebrities get copied all the time, because people have a tendency to idolize famous individuals.
Thanks to media portraying their lives as glamorous and exciting.
But when your friend or co-worker copies you it may feel like a betrayal more than a compliment.
Two: They give you false praise.
This one is subtle because how can you tell the difference between false praise, and authentic praise?
Especially if you're dealing with someone who was a master at acting.
Introverts can be naturally passive in their nature, and may not give out compliments that much but when they do they often mean it.
A jealous introvert on the other hand will mean the opposite of what they say if they give you praise.
To figure out whether they were giving you a true compliment try to hear the subtle differences in their tone as they speak.
Jealous introverts will try to come off as sincere because the last thing they want to do is reveal their true feelings.
According to psychologist Leon Salter,
"Exploitative praisers know exactly how to raise your confidence with the intention of benefiting themselves in the long run."
"They will be calculating with their compliments and go out of their way to support or validate your viewpoints to win your favor and attention."
They do this because they want to get in your good side only to use it to help them get ahead in life
Three: They become competitive
According to psychologist Melanie Greenberg,
"People who are generally competitive are either insecure or arrogant and want to prove their superiority."
If you catch an introvert who isn't typically competitive, but start to notice that they want to compete with you.
Whether it's for that job promotion dream home, or even an ideal relationship.
Chances are they are jealous of you.
They see your life as something that they want for themselves, but instead of just mimicking it they want to be better than you.
Sometimes the competition may not always be so obvious though.
You might not even realize they are competing with you until you notice that everything
you've worked hard for and gained in your life is suddenly being compared back-to-back with their own accomplishments.
This may be casually slipped in dinner conversations at a social gathering, or big events
and then you realize they were aiming for an upgrade in their image rather than actually being your friend.
Four: They avoid you when things are going well for you
When you share good news with them instead of celebrating your happiness together, you may find that they retreat.
instead of making a loud scene about their insecurities, jealous introverts can create more distance. and shut down on communication.
If you're in a relationship with a jealous introvert rather than being honest about their feelings
They may quietly sulk when they feel threatened by the successful networking you're doing, or your job promotion that will result in you moving further away.
They'll blow hot and cold with you causing confusion to start with in you.
They do this because it's their way of feeling like they're in control when they refuse to disclose their true feelings with you.
They may also purposely leave you in the dark without providing answers for their lack of engagement.
Because they aren't ready to accept their own jealousy.
In fact, sometimes a jealous introvert may not even be aware that they are jealous
Especially if they're prone to rationalizing their feelings instead of embracing them.
Five: They try to give you advice that might seem like good ideas
But in reality only benefit them and make them feel important
This kind of behavior can be incredibly hurtful once you figure out that they're doing this.
It might seem like they're genuinely looking out for you. Especially, if you consider them a best friend who always gives sound advice.
You might have always considered them a shoulder you can lean and cry on in times of trouble.
But, then you realize down the road that all the advice they were giving you wasn't even for your own personal growth and well-being
but a way for them to have the upper hand.
Introverts can generally be great advice givers because they often take the time to observe the world without participating.
They are also more naturally inclined to think things through instead of impulsively acting out.
A jealous introvert however, will have different intentions. They want to feel needed by you because it boosts their self-esteem
So they'll give you bad advice that influences you to make a decision that will keep you running back to them for more advice.
Do you agree with these points? Please share your thoughts with us below!
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