hi everyone I'm Adrienne Everheart I am your feminine energy dating and relationship coach
today I'm going to talk about how to really love yourself through the process of being with a hot
and cold man when a man is kind of giving you that push-pull he's pulling away and he's coming back
or he's treating you coldly how do you maintain your identity who you are without feeling like
you're becoming a needy nervous wreck now before you start analyzing your personality type and his
personality type and trying to figure out how you got here I want you to just accept where you're
at if you're feeling needy nervous and restless and unsure about the relationship it's probably
because something in real life is going on that's affecting you this way so you don't need to worry
about if you have any sort of anxious attachment style or anything like that when anyone in your
life loves you and shows up for you and gives you just a hundred percent and then suddenly
they start turning your back on you any of us get nervous all of us would feel worried and all of
us would wonder what the heck is going on first I want you to understand the part of you that
is having this feeling in this conversation with you it's usually a wounded child inside of us now
we all have ego states we have different parts of ourselves and all of us have a playful child that
really likes to play inside we also have a wounded child that's been abandoned or tough spoken down
to by the adults that we're doing their best to provide for us so that's the part of you that
begins to speak up and get really worried really nervous really anxious that the love you've been
receiving is about to go away for good now if your inner wounded child was anything like mine
she became a little bit of a psychic she got so good at guessing what that person may do or may
not do that I was always a couple of steps ahead of my guy and it was such an exhausting place to
be even as a grown adult woman always wondering and trying to guess what my partner may or may not
do or what will need them to liking me so that's what I called me up in your head and being up in
your head is definitely masculine energy so I want you to get down in your body yeah it might
feel a little gross in there right now because you're having all these really scary thoughts
but when you slow down and take them one thought at a time and understand they are just thoughts
you're able to love that part of yourself that's having that thought so let's look at an example
let's say it's been 2 or 3 days since your guy has called you so first thing is you might be
feeling a little sad a little lonely and you don't want to feel this way you don't want to
feel sad you don't want to feel lonely you don't want to feel focused on that person so start with
sadness and let's see if you can radically accept just where you're at it would sound something like
this I love the part of me and it's so sad he's not calling the next emotion I love the part of
me that feels so lonely I don't have anything to do the next emotion I love the part of me
that feels like I'm getting abandoned yet again someone's walking out on me I love the part of
me that feels scared so I want you to take those emotions one at a time you're really embracing
the darkness you're embracing a part of you that you would otherwise want to shut out and have it
just go away but you don't make any progress that way and part of your journey here part of your
journey in a relationship is that we never stop learning we never stop unfolding and that's why
this relationships in front of you right now this is your opportunity to learn and unfold so learn
the lesson so you can move on right now this man is presenting this problem in your life because
there's something you need to learn from it and it's probably a lot to do with just loving where
you're at in your life in this moment the magic will really begin to happen in your life when you
begin accepting how you feel in a moment instead of fighting it now I'm a person that used to have
panic attacks I had terrible anxiety eventually I just learned these were just sensations and those
sensations before that I was having a thought and that I might not be able to control every thought
that pops in my head but I can certainly choose the second thought so if you're finding that the
first thought is always something terrible about your partner or fearful or something that really
makes your wounded child to have a lot of anxiety choose your second thought and your second thought
could sound something like this I feel sad that my man is not calling me yet I also want to be
in a loving long-lasting relationship that leads to marriage I want to be in a wonderful healthy
marriage I want to be in a healthy relationship I want to feel healthy and then ask yourself what's
the next thing I can do to take care of myself what can I do right now in this moment that isn't
dependent on anyone to take care of myself that one question is going to help you turn around any
loneliness and fear you're feeling by this person being hot cold so when you peel all your energy
off that man and you're putting it back on to your life I do believe without even telling him what
you're doing he will feel it if you have a bond with this man if the two of you are close when you
begin to shift your energy you will affect his so ladies I want you to try this I want you to figure
out ways that you can answer the call to your loneliness sadness or isolation that has nothing
to do with that man now ultimately do you want to be in a relationship with a man who doesn't
call regularly or doesn't date you regularly you have to come to that conclusion at some point in
time but until then you can give yourself and the man the very best chance to working this out but
peeling your energy off of him and living your wonderful life having a great time with your life
and doing what feels good to you so at the end of the day I want you to get out of your head and
get into your body up here you're trying to fear them out solve it come up with solutions if Benson
how can I make this happen with him and I want you to get out of that dizzy place and instead
just be inside your body find what you're feeling love yourself through every icky emotion and then
to ask yourself what's the best thing I can do to take care of myself in this moment I would love
to hear from all of you in the comments below if you try this technique what comes up for you and
what did your inner adult or your inner girl want to do next to take care of yourself what
sort of wonderful beautiful things come up for you it's so easy to get caught up in stinking
thinking and thinking all these bad things about ourselves but you have the power to choose your
next thought now if this video has been helpful for you please give me a thumbs up and be sure to
hit the subscribe button below and as always check out my program ABCs to get him back it
stands for absolute best chances if you want to get your partner back and learn some amazing
dating tools and feminine energy tools and I also have a lengthier program called new man manifesto
that works on manifesting techniques it's a much more lengthier program with lots of journaling and
inner work that we do together all right thanks so much for tuning in I'll see you soon bye bye