("Bad Boy" by Warner/Chappell Production Music)
- I'm with Cynthia and she said that she thinks
if we ask somebody for a dick pic right now,
we will get one so we're gonna see what happens.
- Hey.
- I'm really
horny. - I'm really horny.
He's typing something, he's typing something.
Come fuck me.
We're saying it, no question mark needed.
Can I see your cock?
Also, his name is very hidden because he's just
represented with three turtles emojis in her phone.
We got one.
("Bad Boy" by Warner/Chappell Production Music)
People have probably been taking dick pics
for as long as there have been cameras,
but when smartphones became popular
things definitely exploded.
Now, dick pics are everywhere.
Who's taking these pictures
and does anyone into receiving them?
My name is Hillary and I have questions.
Have you ever taken a dick pic?
- I did.
- Yes.
- I have, yeah.
- I don't know how to operate a camera that well
and you know, I've already seen it.
- Today's day and age are you kidding me?
With politics and the NSA and all that sort of stuff,
absolutely not.
- No, I haven't.
- Yeah, I've taken a dick pic before.
- Of course, I've taken a dick pic.
- Of course?
Absolutely not?
I searched online thinking that if I could see some
numbers perhaps I could understand the phenomenon,
but there were no dick pics stats to be found.
So I conducted a company wide survey.
An intern did some math and found 44% of people
with penises had in fact sent a dick pic
while 35% of recipients were into them.
Gaby Dunn was one of them.
She wrote an article titled,
Am I the Only Woman Who Likes Getting a Picture
of a Guy's Junk?
So I wanted to hear what she had to say.
- I think the idea that no woman wants a dick pic
is insulting and backwards.
Between two consenting adults,
sometimes it's nice to have pictures of the person
that you love or are into on your phone.
- I sort of see a dick pick as like a notary
or a signature of arousal.
- Oh, so like we've done it?
- Yes. - Check out my dick.
- I love dick pics because they're sexy.
Like you're thinking about me and you're like
here I am and all my strong glory, you know.
- I don't feel fondly about dick pics.
- Why not?
- Just seems like an intrusion on everyone's part.
- The thing that people don't like about dick pics
is that when they're unsolicited.
- Context is everything.
- Context is everything when it comes to dick pics.
If they're unsolicited, or you don't know the person,
or that's your first move, that's very aggressive,
and also you're not taking consent into account.
- I feel like the gentlemanly context for a dick pic
is sort of the multi-media sexting extravaganza.
- The treatment has to be super careful about sending
dick pics to females because girls are gonna be like
like this guy's gross. What a perv, you know what I mean?
- I do know what you mean, but the rules that are on
dick pics still seem kinda confusing.
So I asked the people of Hollywood.
What's the best way to make sure somebody does want
to receive your dick pic?
- You get them to ask.
- Just ask.
- If she asks for it, then you know, I'd be more than happy
to oblige.
- Don't just send it.
- Never just send one of your own volition.
- You better be sure that person likes you, wants you,
or something 'cause if not, you'll meet some grimy
ass people and they'll just put your shit out there
for the world to see.
The question of dick pic security has been getting a lot
of attention recently.
How does that affect things?
- I'm okay with the NSA seeing my dick.
I'll show you my dick right now.
- I think I'm uncomfortable with my dick.
So if it got out, I think people would be like okay.
- But what if our employer saw it?
- Well, I would be like where were you looking
that you found my dick pic?
- I think if you are that concerned about it,
don't do it.
Then see the person in real life.
You don't need to do this.
It's not like a trend that you have to get on.
- Say it's a trend that you do wanna get on.
How do you take a good dick pic?
- Use that wide angle lens distortion to your advantage.
- Flattering angles, I guess.
- Good lighting?
- Just point down and click.
- If you want some bitch to juggle your balls,
you need to fix your balls sack.
- I'm not entirely sure what that means,
so I called up an expert.
Maddie runs Critique my dick pic, a website
where she critiques user submitted photos.
- [Hillary] Share your expertise with the world.
What makes a good dick pic?
- [Maddie] A good dick pic will not focus
narrowly on the dick itself.
It's normally gonna have a bit of context,
and a bit of background,
and the big dick pics
will have some visible thought put into them.
- [Hillary] So there you have it, and remember
the best dick pics are solicited dick pics.
("Bad Boy" Warner/Chappell Production Music)
- Bring back Eggplant Friday Instagram.
They like deleted the hashtag.
You can't hashtag it. Bring it back, please.
It was so much fun.
Music chord.