Now, I want you to sit back… close your eyes… and ask yourself: HOW DO YOU FEEL?
Some of you will respond good or great or sad or tired.
When I did this I thought…
I’m fine.
But however you feel right now, most of our responses will fall into only a few categories.
We have such a wide range of feelings, though the language we use to describe them is pretty
limited.
Last year I found this, Book of Human Emotions, in a very cute bookstore in Melbourne and
I thought this will be a fantastic for an episode on emotions.
It catalogues obscure emotions, like...
Gezelligheid, a Dutch term for a cozy inside and out feeling that describes both the physical
circumstances of feeling snug in a homely place and an emotional state of feeling comforted
by having friends or family around.
And then I thought, well that’s not really an emotion, it’s a feeling.
After all, Gezelligheid isn’t in that list of basic emotions that people feel no matter
their culture or geography.
And then I started to wonder… what actually is the difference between an emotion and a
feeling?
Some say a feeling is a physical state where an emotion is an enduring mental state.
But the more I dug into it, the more I found that you need feelings to experience emotions
and the word are really used interchangeably.
And I quickly discovered that, scientifically, there is no consensus on the definition of
an emotion or how you come to experience them.
But there are lots of theories, including on how you can use this scientific noodle
to your advantage to master your emotions.
Now imagine you’re in a forest running away from a bear.
When the first theory of emotion was proposed [James-Lange theory, 1880s] it was believed
that the emotion you experience is simply your awareness of your response to the situation.
So you see something dangerous (a bear), this triggers a physical response (e.g. a pounding
heart), the awareness of this response is the emotion (fear).
BUT researchers argued, wouldn’t there be a delay between this physical response and
our awareness?
When in reality we’re scared of things almost instantly.
So… a new theory was proposed [Cannon-Bard theory], where action and emotion occur simultaneously.
When you see danger (the bear, stimulus) this triggers a response in your brain, that causes
both the physiological changes (pounding heart) and your emotional experience (fear).
This explanation seemed logical, “but”… people complained, this left out your awareness,
your interpretation entirely.
And I’m sure the authors of that theory felt pique – a sharp anger cause by a wound
to one’s pride.
The reality is that our emotional responses aren’t always that straightforward.
So, the third major theory of emotion [the Schachter-Singer theory] says you subjectively
experience emotion (fear or excitement) after an evaluation process where you interpret
bodily reactions (pounding heart) in light of the total situation (bear or friend you’re
racing).
This is an improvement because it includes two elements: What your body is doing and
your awareness of it.
But it wouldn’t be fun to agree that one is the best theory so researchers continue
to debate the merits of all three.
What we can agree on is that a person’s emotions are built around their judgement
of what a situation means to them.
A lot of your interpretation of situations is cultural and can change based on our experience.
So how you feel is shaped not only by your biology, but by conventions you grew up with
and even the words that you know.
So, there are two ways we can all attempt to master our emotions: one is trying to reinterpret
our body’s signals to feel a different emotion.
Reinterpreting a pounding heart as “I’m excited” rather than “I’m fearful”
is one way to do it.
I’ve mentioned this before relating to anxiety – try reframing butterflies in your stomach
or trembling hands as exhilaration.
Secondly, through learning more language to describe our feelings, we can get in touch
with a wider range of emotions – knowing how you feel helps you process, deal with
and regulate your emotions.
So, if you think you’re sad, consider that you may be [cycle through sad words] dejected
or have the collywobbles – a feeling of anxiety and unease in the pit of your stomach.
Or you may be resentful or zal (pronounced jahl) – a Polish term for the melancholy
felt at an irretrievable loss.
Categorising and expressing your emotions – even if they’re negative – has been
found to improve anger management and stress.
What science can show us is that if you take control and differentiate what you’re feeling,
it’s better for your overall well-being.