Physical attraction is complicated - beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.
But the way people behave is just as important as physical appearance when it comes to attraction,
and, if certain experts are to be believed, it turns out that the following behaviors
are nearly universally attractive to women.
Chivalry
They say chivalry is dead, but maybe that rarity is exactly why this old fashioned behavior
is so attractive.
Celebrity matchmaker Bonnie Winston told The List:
"A man who is chivalrous, as evidenced by holding doors open, etc. is something that
is old fashioned, but never goes out of style."
It may seem like this is something we've all learned from what the movies say a relationship
should be like, but it turns out there's more to it than that.
Certified Professional Love Life Coach Lisa Concepcion revealed to The List:
"On a physiological, primal level, women want to feel protected and are attracted to a man
who makes them feel safe."
According to her, men also like to feel they're being chivalrous because they're wired to
be protectors.
She revealed that men like when women allow them to do things like open doors and tight
jars.
Apparently, even though we've come a long way evolution-wise, we've still got these
kinds of needs tied to our psychology.
Making eye contact
In a world where most people are tied to their phones, it's easy to feel neglected or unimportant
- even on a date.
According to Bonnie Winston, this is why making eye contact is so important and why women
find it so attractive.
She revealed:
"A man who makes eye contact is very sexy, in fact it's the sexiest behavior a man can
do to a woman."
Hear that, guys?
She didn't just say eye contact is "sexy," she said it's the "sexiest!"
Take note!
After all, there's nothing sexier than feeling like someone is listening to you.
Winston continued:
"Women want to feel men are invested in them, and [making eye contact] makes them feel heard,
understood and valuable."
Making eye contact is also easy to do, so put your phone away and really listen to what
the woman across the table is telling you.
"I want eye contact."
"No."
"Yes."
"Do you understand how rare that is in nature?"
Quality time trumps gifts
Sarah Rose Marcus, a PhD candidate at Rutgers University, shared that her research revealed
women are looking for a partner who cares more about experiences than gifts.
In fact, her participants were uncomfortable when a date or partner "showered them with
expensive gifts and vacations up front."
She continued:
"They would prefer more quality time over material items, especially in the beginning
phases when they are still getting to know one another."
Sure, the movies often portray women looking for roses, jewelry, and all manner of gifts,
but women in the real world are much more complex than that.
They're looking for connection.
So before you book that private jet to whisk your love interest off to Paris, spend time
getting to know her.
And before you spend your whole paycheck on that gorgeous piece of jewelry, make sure
she knows you like spending time with her - and that she likes spending time with you
too.
Showing competence
There's nothing like a partner who really knows their stuff.
To really see someone in their element is something women find particularly attractive.
According to Raffi Bilek, a couples counselor and the director of the Baltimore Therapy
Center:
"Any behavior in which a man demonstrates competence is one which can be attractive
to women.
Women are attracted to men who are primed to succeed, in whatever way that might be
defined."
Bilek shared that it doesn't much matter what a man is super competent at, just that he
is competent and has a venue in which to shine.
He continued:
"A woman might find a man attractive when he shines as a public speaker or when he fixes
a car nobody else could fix in record time.
He can demonstrate competence as a vet by calming down an anxious dog, or as a computer
technician by getting that darn program to work.
Anything a man does where he excels, no matter how mundane it may seem, can be a turn-on
for women!"
Measured adventurousness
Variety is the spice of life, and a sense of adventurousness in a potential partner
can send those stomach butterflies into overdrive.
But what women find really attractive is when a man is able to balance that sense of adventure
with an equal sense of responsibility.
According to Clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Carla Marie Manly:
"There is nothing as exciting and sexy as a man who is adventurous yet capable of making
wise, trustworthy decisions."
"You trust me?"
"You jump, I jump, Jack."
Not only does this show that a potential partner is capable of surprising you in fun and adventurous
ways, it also shows he has your back and isn't going to rush into anything he isn't prepared
for.
Going for a hike and camping under the stars can feel super adventurous, but a woman is
going to be much more attracted to the man who has prepared for that trip by packing
adequately than the man who takes her on the trip without any preparation or thought.
After all, a woman wants adventure, but she also wants to feel safe.