(keyboard clacking)
(sighing)
- Hey, Matt.
Got your email with the report,
thanks so much for sending.
Question, did you CC John on that?
- Uh, yes, I believe I did.
- Oh that's interesting 'cause I'm looking
at that email right now and you didn't.
- Oh.
- You BCC'd me.
- Oh.
You still got the email then, right?
- I did.
- Look, I know you're new around here,
so I just want to make sure
you understand the email protocol.
You always CC both John and I on all work emails
'cause if you BCC see him,
then I can't check to make sure that you CC'd him.
- Got it.
I made a mistake.
- Great.
Question, why did you make that mistake?
- I guess I'm a little tired this morning.
- Uh huh. - Oh gosh.
- Why are you so tired?
- I have anxiety that sometimes keeps me up at night.
- What causes this anxiety?
- I guess sometimes I feel like
this can be sort of a confrontational work environment.
- Hey, bud
Hampton DeVille encourages
aggressive confrontational criticism.
- [Kate] Why don't you like confrontation?
Defend your position.
- Oh uh.
No, I mean.
I think confrontation is a good thing.
It's just sometimes confrontation hurts
my job performance and damages my personal well being.
- Uh oh.
Well, if you can't manage your emotions, Matt,
what makes you think you're qualified
to manage people at this company?
- Honestly, I don't know.
- Oh.
- I never really saw myself here.
I mean, after college I volunteered
for a program teaching underprivileged kids
because I wanted to help people
but then one of the students stabbed me
and the school was pretty dirty
and I realized I wasn't cut out for it.
So, I moved back in with my parents
which I'm pretty sure led to them getting a divorce
because. - We don't love each other.
- That's what they told me happened.
Then I worked a series of jobs
that eventually landed me here.
Where I'm just a cog in a soulless, corporate machine
and I'm not--
- Okay, well just make sure that you CC
both John and I on all work emails.
It's a simple mistake.
But its just important to follow protocol.
- Yes.
Jake, question.
Why do you think it's okay
to come into work with your shirt untucked?
- Because life is meaningless
and nothing we do matters.
- Okay, great.
- Have a great day, you two. - Thanks, guys.
(upbeat classical music)
(speaking Spanish)
(upbeat classical music)
(boat horn blaring)
(truck horn blaring)
(upbeat classical music)
- Oh, Matt.
That banana has brown spots on it.
- What?
Oh, ew.
- As you all know, profits for Hampton DeVille
are at an all time high,
unfortunately, the well being
at our employees is at an all time low.
Let's take a look at the average Hampton DeVille employee.
The average life expectancy for a Hampton DeVille employee
is 57.1 years.
They get five point two hours of sleep...
- I'm so tired.
I wish I could be asleep all the time.
- You just described death.
- Yeah, I guess I want to be dead.
- I can't wait to die.
It sounds so relaxing.
- The average employee is half man, half woman.
They have one testicle, one breast,
and half a vagina.
Every year, the average employee consumes
561 cups of coffee and 1,000 pounds of...
- I feel nothing when I drink coffee.
- Coffee is a scam.
Be an adult, take an Adderall.
- The average Hampton DeVille employee
strongly agrees with the following phrase,
if I see a pill, I eat a pill.
They smoke 275 cigarettes annually,
97 marijuana cigarettes,
and due to some statistical outliers,
the average employee does heroin.
- I would never do heroin, unless I was dying
or someone just offered it to me.
- I don't have a 401k,
so as of now my retirement plan is to overdose on drugs.
- Smart.
- The average employee has seven point eight
suicidal thoughts per day,
18 panic attacks a year,
and wonders once a hour, every hour,
why this is happening to them.
And that concludes my presentation
on how Hampton DeVille employees
cope with the pain of being alive.
(applause)
- Okay, thank you, Grace.
Should we talk next steps?
- First step, let us never speak of this again.
- Yes, that's right.
That's really the only step.
(metal ringing) (wet crunching)
- You're chopping wood,
immersed in nature,
removed from the oppressive modern world.
Pure, organic, salt, sweat, and hops.
You reach for a brew
but you don't want a regular beer brewed
by soulless machines.
You want something crafted by hand
because you're unique, different from other people, better.
You're a special man.
Imagine the heart and soul of a thousand year old tree.
Imagine an apple that tastes like God.
Imagine the Patriot Act never existed.
Imagine true freedom.
Congrats, you've now imagined Matt's Brew.
Imagine an eagle.
Because beer can be better.
So, what'd you think?
- I think brewing your own beer
is a sign of a lost person.
- Jake, it's me inside this bottle
and I want you to taste me.
- No, I don't like beer.
- I don't like beer either
but this is craft brew.
- You are acting like frat guy.
- Craft brew is a rebellion against frat culture.
- No means no.
- [Echoing] No!
My brew.
(gunshot)
(soft muzak)
- Oh, I'll have a bloody Mary, thanks.
Oh I wonder if the hotel has a pool.
- Matt, no.
I forbid you to go swimming.
This is the corporate retreat,
not MTV Spring Break.
- Jake, this is the closest I've had
to a vacation in years.
All I want to do is have some fun
and maybe drunkenly say something
way too personal to a coworker
that I'll always regret.
- Matt, look, this weekend is about one thing.
Forming superficial relationships
with people you can exploit in the future.
It's called networking.
- Shirley Mozer SVP marketing
son banned from Wal-Mart after Sudafed incident.
What is this?
- It's everyone I met at last year's retreat.
Names, emails, and one dark secret per person
for possible future blackmailing.
- Well, you're a well organized sociopath.
- If you're over 30 and don't have a spreadsheet
of everyone you've ever met, you're behind in life.
- I'm so bad with names and faces,
I have close friends whose names I don't know.
- [Man] Oh, oh my god!
- I knew it.
I knew our pilot sucked.
He was too folksy on the PA.
- Jake, I just want you to know that you're my best friend
at work, you're my best work friend.
- [Man] Oh my god, I tasted my whole butt.
I forgive you.
- Are we okay?
- Good news, that crash you just experienced
was just a simulation.
- Surprise!
And our apologies if you were traumatized.
- Fun fact, coworkers who have co-survived
a near death experience
are more bonded than coworkers
who have not almost co-died together.
- So, congrats.
Oh, and if your final thoughts weren't of Hampton DeVille
than you've got a lot of work to do this weekend.
Happy retreat.
(soft music)
(machine beeping)
(knocking)
- [Matt] Happy Friday.
(upbeat tropical music)
- You fell for it.
You took casual Friday too far.
- What do you mean?
The email said we could wear whatever we want.
- Matt, you naive little ingenue.
Casual Friday is a trap.
Anything you wear can and will be held against you.
You know, this is the first time I've ever seen your toes.
There's something weird about them.
- I don't have weird toes.
- Yes, you do.
They look like stretched out baby fingers.
- As much as I enjoy seeing others fail,
I'm gonna take pity on you and give you my jacket.
- Now he looks like he's in a ska band.
- I actually used to be in a ska band.
- Don't ever tell anybody that.
- Great, now I look like the biggest idiot in the office.
- Hi, Tom.
Jill, nice to see you.
Terry, how's it going?
Oh, nice outfit, Jennifer.
Morning, Ken.
Can you get the New York office
on the phone for me, please?
(eerie tense music)
Anyone have any big plans for the weekend?
(lighthearted classical music)
- [Narrator] What's reflected in the mirror
in the pitch black room?
(tense electronic music)
- Once we remove it, they can no longer listen,
they can't track you.
You'll be completely unplugged from the system.
Are you sure you're ready to leave your old life behind?
- The system is broken
and I've always felt like an outsider looking in.
- You're special.
- I've always felt special.
- You're the most special person in the universe.
- I'm ready to accept how special I am.
(tense electronic music)
(groaning)
I'm free.
I'm fin--
Finally free.
- I can't believe you asked me
to drive you to work today
just so you could watch your pseudo-intellectual
TV show on your stupid oversized smart watch.
It must feel really great for the filmmakers
to know that their premium high budget TV show
is being viewed on a five inch screen.
- Can you even hear me?
No, great, I'm talking to myself.
Oh, hi, me.
How are you doing?
I'm doing terribly.
Why?
Because my friend thinks I'm an Uber driver.
I'm also doing bad for reasons totally unrelated to that
but thank you for asking.
- [Man] How do I know I can trust you?
- You can't trust anyone, not even yourself.
(tense electronic music)
(gunshot)
(gasps)
- Jake, you gotta watch this show.
- Can we talk about anything else?
- Like what?
- Do you think Bin Laden's widow is dating again?
- I mean, I hope so.
She's a human being, she deserves love.
- Okay, we're moving onto to 129A.
- 129A, or are we doing B first?
- Part three. - We're going A.
Okay.
- You know I feel like because we had a little bit
of a hard time discussing 128F.
- We did.
- Let's just discuss - So we can table that
- The protocol for discussing. - Why don't we just.
Okay, cool. - 120A.
- We'll discuss and what we'll do,
we'll table that and we'll discuss how we discuss it.
(upbeat music)
♪ I found a place in a little old town ♪
(overlapping talking)
(laughter)
(laughing)
♪ American dream ♪
♪ Yeah I've worked real hard ♪
♪ Since I was 17 ♪
♪ And this is where ♪
- I'll marry your ex-wife
and then I'll divorce and make you pay
for the alimony.
Do you understand how mad I am at you right now?
Don't ever clean my house poorly again.
♪ Living the American Dream ♪
♪ The American Dream ♪
(somber piano music)
♪ The American Dream ♪
♪ Living the American Dream ♪
♪ The American Dream ♪
♪ Living the American Dream ♪
♪ The American Dream ♪
♪ Oh yeah the American Dream ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ The American Dream ♪
(soft Christmas music)
- Don't you just love the holidays?
- The only holiday I respect is Mother's Day
because I feel directly responsible for my mother's pain.
- You do have a huge head.
I bet your birthday causes your Mom PTSD.
- Maybe I'll just get Kate and John gift cards.
- You're asking for a promotion.
You gotta get them something better than a gift card.
- No way, gift cards are the perfect way
to show someone you don't care about
that you really care about them.
Wait, you're getting reimbursed
for the decorations for the office party, right?
- No, but it's fine.
- Okay, that will be $837.98.
- Jesus (bleep) you.
What, whoa.
Okay.
- Sir, if you're not gonna buy that,
please put it down.
- Wow, just some more causal anti-Semitism
thrown into my face.
- I don't like him either.
- Holiday gift giving is bullshit forced generosity.
If I get gifts for people,
I'm just doing what I'm supposed to.
If I don't get gifts for people
I'm an asshole for not participating
in a made up corporate holiday.
It's a trap and I'm a victim.
- No, holidays are good.
They're your one chance to make up
for being a huge disappointment the rest of the year.
- [Announcer] Make this a September to remember,
by getting twin touch screen Obelisks for the price of one.
The Obelisk 5.0.
On sale this Remember Day.
♪ Turn on the lights ♪
- I don't know.
Something about Remember Day
just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
- Hey, Jake.
How come we never talk about girls.
- What do you mean girls?
- You know guy stuff.
Like which girls in the office we think are hot
and have crushes on.
- We're not that type of guy.
That's the worst type of guy.
- Well, Jake, it just so happens
that I have a huge office crush.
It's a big boy.
But if you don't care.
I guess you don't get to find out who it is.
- Let me guess, it's her.
- How'd you know?
Did she ask about me?
- It's just a proximity question.
The only reason you like her is because
she's the woman you see the most everyday.
- Jake, this isn't a joke.
I might be in love with her.
- Oh yeah?
What specifically do you love about her, Matt?
- I mean, just look at how nice her face looks
and I like the way she places her belongings
in the boxes, it's cute.
- You know it's her last day, right?
- What?
(low tense music)
(soft sobbing)
(upbeat music)
♪ I found love ♪
♪ Didn't even know I needed it ♪
♪ But I found love ♪
♪ Never even crossed my mind ♪
♪ I found love ♪
♪ How a garden never weeded it ♪
♪ But I found love ♪
♪ Took an apple just in time ♪
♪ I found love ♪
♪ In the fog ♪
- Dogs are disgusting creatures.
They smell, their mouths are too wet,
and they constantly demand your attention
like dumb, slutty babies.
People think they're cute
when really they're just over bred mutants
too stupid to beg for death.
They turn people into complete idiots.
- [Distorted] There's a dog?
♪ I found love in this world ♪
♪ And my heart strings just unfurl ♪
♪ I found love ♪
♪ In the spring ♪
I'm your Mommy.
(rock music)
- Jake.
I'm going to tell you something
and I don't want you to freak out.
I'm driving us to the bar.
- Matt, no.
- It's for your own good.
You need to have more fun with your life.
Nothing you can say will stop me.
Also earlier, I stole your phone
and I hid it and I'm not giving it back
to you until the end of the night.
- Matt, we agreed to car pool
which is a sacred contract upheld
by the American legal system.
We're almost at my street.
If you don't turn right, this is kidnapping
and you're going to jail.
(rock music)
Okay, you want to play games?
I'll play games.
You vastly overestimated my will to live.
I'll grab that wheel and kill us both, easy.
The cops are gonna find our cold dead bodies
in a ditch somewhere, Matt.
Think about how sad your parents will be.
Matt, turn right.
Matt, turn right right now.
Matt, turn right turn right.
Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt.
(sighs)
Goddamn, you used to fear me more.
(alarm beeping)
(electronic music)
(alarm beeping)
- Matt, looking dapper today.
Kate, you okay?
You look tired.
- [Accountant Voiceover] When I was a child,
my mother had a rule.
Only one cookie from the cookie jar per day.
Thing was, I loved cookies.
I'd lie, cry, beg and scream until she would relent.
She could never say no.
When I was 11, her stepbrother crashed his car
while driving drunk, so my mother gave him hers.
So she had to walk to work, four miles, each way.
One morning, she stopped to admire a beautiful deer
standing in a field.
And that's when a mid sized sedan careened
onto the sidewalk and crushed her.
Turned out the driver of the car
was her stepbrother drunk, yet again, on light beer.
My mother spent months in the hospital recovering
unable to work.
Desperate for cash, we sold everything.
Expect for this cookie jar.
- Cookie?
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- For later.
- No, thank you.
- As an accountant, it's my job
to keep the lid on the cookie jar.
Which brings us to the expense report
from your recent business trip to Los Angeles.
What I need for you to answer me is this,
how did four Hampton DeVille employees
in the course of one dinner
at Marcus Sombrero's Mexican Bar and Grill
manage to drink 16 margaritas?
(laughing)
- Hey, have you checked out the new street view
in Hampton DeVille Maps?
- No.
- It's supposed to be more detailed than Google Maps.
- Really?
Wow, takes me all the way up to my front door.
What the hell?
I'm inside my own house.
(tense music)
What?
Oh my God.
- Oh God.
Your bathroom is a mess.
- Please don't tell anybody.
- Let me check my apartment.
(door creaking)
(eerie tense music)
I thought that was a dream.
- This is a violation of our privacy.
- If they can see inside our apartments that means.
- We can see other people's shit.
- Let's check my neighbor Barry.
I know he's up to something.
(tense music)
Way, to go, Barry.
- Whoa.
Oh.
He's got a gun.
- Go, go, go, go.
Get out of there.
(gunshot)
(gasping)
(gunshot)
(gasps)
Hardwood floors, I'm jealous.
- Yeah, I really love what Barry did with the place.
(low tense music)
- I can't (bleep) believe
we have to (bleep) work on (bleep) Labor Day.
- It's like everyone died.
- Expect worse because they didn't.
- At least there are fewer distractions here than at home.
- I can't believe Kate and John
gave us an assignment due the day after Labor Day.
This is corporate fascism and we are big time victims.
- In fairness, they did give us the assignment
two months ago.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
What we're we supposed to do?
Evenly spread out the work over the course
of a few weeks?
- You're right, that's crazy.
We are big time victims.
- Thank you.
(soft music)
- [Matt Voiceover] Well, it happened again.
Another tragedy.
Will we ever learn?
- [Man Voiceover] On a day like today,
it's pointless to even post on social media.
- [Woman Voiceover] But I absolutely must.
- [Woman Voiceover] I can't and I won't
and I cannot and I will not stay silent.
- [Woman Voiceover] As an American.
- [Man Voiceover] As an amateur stand up comedian.
- [Man Voiceover] As a privileged person
who recognizes my own privilege.
- [Matt Voiceover] It is my duty to speak out.
- [Jake Voiceover] Admit it, you're all just
posting on social media for the attention.
- [Woman Voiceover] Today is not about me.
Share my post if you agree.
(sobbing)
- [Man Voiceover] Today has deeply affected me
on a personal level.
My thoughts and prayers are with the victims
of this horrendous tragedy.
- [Matt Voiceover] We have to fight fire
with peace fire.
Share my post if you agree.
- [Jake Voiceover] Just watch.
Tomorrow you'll go back to posting selfies
and forget this tragedy ever happened.
- Feels good to say something.
- It really does.
- I'm like still there right now.
- I bet you are.
- Clancy, welcome back.
How was your vacation?
- It was amazing.
Thank you guys so much for the itinerary.
- Now, tell me you went to that cafe?
- Best biscotti I ever had.
- That biscotti ruined me for American biscotti.
- Did you go on the hike?
- Yes, oh the vista.
- All the vistas in America are trash.
- Did you.
- Yes, amazing.
- What is this place?
- Oh, Kate.
The beauty is indescribable but here's what it looked it.
It's God's county.
I'm gonna have an eighth of my ashes scattered there.
We've seen trees before but when you go there
you'll realize you had no (bleep) clue what trees were.
They call it Tree-vilo.
- Travilo?
- Uh huh.
- [All] Tree-Vilo.
- It's economically decimated.
But culturally it's bursting with riches.
I bought a magnet with my name on it.
There's this restaurant, it's in the ocean.
You have to try it.
Now you're gonna get wet, but that's part of it.
You must try the Eucharist at the cathedral.
Ruined me for American Eucharist.
Best ruins I've ever seen.
Ruined me for American ruins.
Now, I don't want to oversell it
but let's just say,
you are finally gonna understand
why I started spelling colour with a U.
(cheering)
- Goodbye, everyone.
I'm off to Tree-vilo.
(cheering)
(coughing)
- So.
How was it?
- It was...
(tense classical music)
Amazing.
You two have to go.
- Nah. - Okay.
Oh.
The office coffee tastes like a human rights violation.
I should probably quit drinking it.
- You're not gonna quit.
At this point in life your habits are your habits.
Your life is on autopilot and years are just passing by.
Without you even realizing it.
When you were a little boy,
there was this great mystery about who you'd become someday.
That mystery is now solved and the twist is
you work at a job you hate, you don't floss
and you never will, and worst of all
you don't even think critically about media.
- Jesus, how'd we even start talking abut this.
God, this coffee sucks.
- Nothing ever really changed in life
and that's good.
Change is overrated.
It's just the same but different.
(air horn blaring)
- There's been a catastrophic event in Washington
and within the next 24 hours society will collapse.
If you want to survive, take a go bag.
(screaming) (tense music)
- Kate, I'm so sorry.
(air horn blaring)
(laughing)
- Come on, guys.
The world isn't really ending.
But it feels like it, right?
I mean between the gun violence, extreme weather,
psychotic world leaders, and good old fashioned nuclear war
consumers are scared.
So today, we are going to discuss ways
to monetize that.
Fear is the steady hand
that unhooks the bra of capitalism.
- Here, got you one.
- Oh, I have no interest in surviving the apocalypse.
Oh, floss pick.
- Bad news.
They said no.
- What?
I thought we had a deal.
What about our guy on the inside?
- They got to our guy.
He told me to fuck myself.
Really hurt my feelings.
- Goddamn it!
- We should double the offer.
- No, it's beyond money.
This is between me and Taylor.
Call the chopper.
(tense rock music)
Okay, Taylor, I get it.
I did it to you, so now you're doing it to me.
I'm begging you, please.
Please just name your price.
- Tell me you want it.
- I want it.
- Tell me you need it.
- I need it.
- What do you need?
- I need the global streaming rights
to Gilmore Girls.
- Raise your hand if you're subscribed
to Hampton DeVille's new streaming platform
Hampton DeView.
(tense music)
Rory and Lorelai deserve better
than that shit swamp you call a streaming platform.
Which is why I made a deal with Viacom this morning.
Gilmore Girls will be streaming on Pluto TV within the hour.
- No.
- See you at the Emmys.
Not.
(laughing) (tense music)
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday dear Jake ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
- [Man] Make a wish, Jakey Boy.
(cheering)
- I wish you could stay our perfect little boy forever.
- Goodnight, Superbowl champ.
You're my favorite sports boy.
Go Giants.
- Goodnight, Dad.
Go Giants!
- Do you think he has pubes yet?
- I don't think so.
(eerie music)
- Happy birthday, Jake.
Oh don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you.
I'm actually here to give you one more birthday gift.
The truth about life.
Well, your parents like to tell you that life
is good and that you're worthy of love
but your parents are lying liars.
Remember when they told you Santa Claus was real?
That was extra fucked up because you're Jewish.
I'm Jewish, too.
Anyway, I'm here to tell you that life
is fundamentally bad.
But don't let that get you down.
I'm your new best friend
and I'll be with you the rest of your life
till the day you die, sports boy.
Oh and by the way, you suck at sports.
- Oh, well.
Thanks for telling me, Black Dog.
- No problem, buddy.
Have a goodnight.
Oh, I almost forgot.
You have insomnia now.
So it will actually be a pretty bad night.
- You know, a 30 minute workout is just two percent
of your day.
- You can't possibly think you're gonna convince me
to go to the gym during lunch.
- Come on, you could lose weight.
I lost seven pounds in six weeks.
At this rate, I'll lose more pounds
in more weeks.
- Thanks but I've actually lost a bunch of weight recently.
My belt stopped fitting around my neck
the same way that it used to.
- Well, for the record, I tried
to help you feel better.
- Was that a suicide joke or a masturbation joke?
- What's the difference?
We're all gonna die.
- Atta boy.
- God, this coffee sucks.
- It's next level terrible.
- If I had a time machine, I would go back
and kill Hitler but only because I'm convinced
Hitler is still alive
and his job is brewing the coffee at this office.
(upbeat classical music)
- I fantasized about my death
during Peggy's presentation again.
This time I drove off a cliff.
We were both in the car though,
so at least I took her down with me.
- I just don't feel safe in the office
of a man who decorates using action figures.
- Belinda will not stop emailing me OKGO videos.
Get out of here.
- His big business idea was thick milk.
I was like, bitch, that's yogurt.
- Jane's sneezes are performative.
It's like if you really want attention that bad
Munchausen you're daughter.
Oh, hey, Jane.
(sneezes)
- Hey, what do you say we both jump in and not look back?
- Debbie, I have a cat at home.
- Fair enough.
You know, before I let you go.
I wouldn't feel right if I didn't mention
our expanded security extended warranty one more time.
- You know what, let's do it.
- Great, I'll update the agreement and email you.
- Hey, Debbie, have you seen that 2020 Blue Scimitar?
- I'm with a customer.
Why don't check the lot, Vicky?
- Good, yeah, good, thank you.
Okay.
- I mean, if she doesn't know where it is
why would I?
You're gonna love that Sun Gem
and I hope you enjoyed your experience with me.
Would you say it was a five out of five stars?
- Um, yeah, yes.
- Great.
I'd consider anything less a failure
and so would Jupiter.
You might be contacted to participate in a survey.
It mean the world to me if you gave me five out of five.
- Great, well thanks for the help.
- You bet.
Don't forget.
Five out of five.
- Got it.
- Good.
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
- [Phone] Hi, Jacob.
Congratulations on your new Jupiter Sun Gem.
We'd love you to take a brief survey
about your experience.
(gasps)
(tires screeching)
- Sorry, forgot to give this to you.
It's a paper copy of the survey.
In case you're an old fashioned kind of guy.
- Yes, thank you, Debbie.
Bye.
- Five out of five.
(tense music)
- [Debbie Voiceover] Five out of five.
- 20 years ago, Hampton DeVille was formed
when my company merged with another company
by a one Parker Hampton.
Now, he and I could never see eye to eye.
Hampton is five two and blind.
I'll spare you the details.
Suffice to say, he and I got into a petty disagreement
over a measly one million dollars.
Now, Hampton was raised poor,
so he has always counted nickels and cents
like some Dickensian penny pincher.
Even after he was a billionaire many times over.
The miserable little prick has made it clear
that if I don't pay him that million dollars,
he's going to come after me with all he's got.
So, I need you boys to deliver this briefcase
to him at the DeVille Suits in Jackson Lake
six hours north.
Now, this is extremely important to me.
I care about this more than...
- Family?
- No, not family.
- Friends?
- I'm more of a Seinfeld guy.
- Oh this is so hard.
- Yeah.
- What is important in life?
- The power of seduction?
- No.
- I kinda care about football
because it's the only thing I can talk about with my father.
- Gourmet dining?
- I'll give it some more thought.
The point is.
Don't fuck this up.
- Okay but what happens if we do?
- You all know I'm not big on speeches.
All right, who am I trying to kid?
I love speeches.
Love 'em.
Everybody in this room has given their heart
and their soul to this project.
You have worked overtime, you have worked weekends,
you have worked holidays.
Mark missed the birth of his first born.
Saul missed the birth of his second born.
Mary missed the birth of her third,
her fourth, and her fifth born
and it is all in the idea
of sacrificing to achieve something greater than ourselves.
So, whether or not this wacky thing actually works,
we all ought to be damn proud.
The work that we have done here.
Here we go.
Everybody raise your glasses.
- [All] Five, four, three,
two, one.
- Stop the test.
It's been called off.
- What the fuck are you saying?
- The entire product has been terminated.
We're all being let go without severance.
- On who's orders?
- Christian DeVille's.
- Christian DeVille.
I, I can't turn it on?
Not even once?
This is bullshit!
I gave my life to this project.
(tense classical music)
My life!