the following morning we were told to
report to our test track for the next
challenge
oddly though the man in the white coat
was nowhere to be seen
what was the actual color of your car
red actually
no no no amber gold oh amber gold can
you remember the exact color of yours
sunrise yellow but
[Music]
this man's destroying your volvo you're
going to sort him out
the psychopath with the forklift then
did the same to my god
and hammond's hyundai
this does feel like a terrible well
hopefully this
this better be good as you are 17 it is
certain
that at some point in the near future
you will roll your car
so you must now mend it in such a way
that your parents won't be able to spot
the damage
this is to find out this is to find out
how easy they are to repair
so right well we better get these well
let's get them indoors yeah
and break out the hammers
richard however decided he didn't need a
hammer
all right straight away i've improved it
you don't need hammers and shouting see
this bit here
small scuff watch that disappear thanks
to the magic
of polish
with the roof done i now had to sort the
bonnet
here's a tip should you ever roll
your coupe stylish and need to
straighten the dental like that here's
what you do
that's not yeah jeremy meanwhile
was cheating one thing i've learned is
that all firemen have at some point
crashed their cars when they were
teenagers so i borrowed a fireman
did you ever crash a car certainly when
you were 17
rs turbo green and common straight
through the fence that's the ticket so
you understand the flight of the 17 year
old who stuffed his
mother's car feeling
so do you think you could use some
firemen equipment to make that like new
that's not what they're for there were
no fires in surrey it's two middle class
[Music]
spread the same color as the car after
just two hours of hard work it's very
important to turn the cloth
frequently we have made no difference
whatsoever
yeah that's plastic yeah i had to do
plastic as well because the fireman's
lift has rather changed the shape of the
windscreen hole
then another challenge arrived let's
have a look
okay you will now race against the clock
to see which car is the fastest
you have to go down the main straight
round the hammerhead do a handbrake turn
and come back the other way it doesn't
sound very hard
uh hang on though it says the track has
been littered with obstacles
and you'll have five seconds added to
your time for every object you don't hit
don't hit that's what it says
it was right the track was littered with
all the flotsam that teenagers like to
crash into
and then at the finish line there was a
gap
between two-part cars that everyone
except a 17 year old can see
isn't wide enough we also discovered
that our handbrake turns would be judged
by three teenage girls that actually
makes sense
because as men we know that nothing
turns a 17 year old girl on more than a
well-executed handbrake too well
it's like you know a peacock has its
plumage those birds in the jungle they
attract a mate with
dancing about we have the handbrake it's
our recovery
but i can do this interestingly girls
will always say no we're not interested
they never show it they never have ever
shown it they're suppressing it very
well
right very effectively armed with this
new information about women
james decided to get some practice
while we talked to the girls i've got a
motorbike
yeah you see him he's rubbish i'm much
better i did one yesterday
at glastonbury and it was brilliant
and
that's him he does
he just can't do it he can't do it and
he's got no penis because it came off
once
with james cleared off the track i lined
up for the off
oh that was a blinding start what do you
reckon his approach is going to be
violence
this is like any 17 year old coming home
from work
he's got the flower stall oh my god
that's substantial
yeah that was strangely satisfying
road works that's good
wheelie bin fantastic
sadly the handbrake turn was a disaster
there's nothing i can do about the
washer bottle that is a consequence of
the accident
james was yes
yes do it
[Music]
no he's missed the call
oh nice down the back straight it was
hard to see
why he'd bothered with a helmet
[Music]
oh well mom i've just been to the post
office they've got a new stamper
but then as he approached the girls all
became clear
they're hot for james may right now i
might as well cut the penis off for all
the good that did
oh yes good idea quick quick quick quick
i know what you're thinking i'm gonna do
it too
there you go
oh that's not gone quite as well so
now it was all down to me
so they both missed the car the first
obstacle i won
oh yeah 35 seconds before we move more
than a yard
right so it's around the hammerhead in a
normal manner
oh what a pillow
[Applause]
you're right
dead really yeah
yeah anyway uh back to the studio
that's my line