[instrumental music]
"Vulva"?
Alright. I panicked. Alright?
She...she took me by surprise, you know.
But, it wasn't a total loss.
I mean, uh, we ended up cuddling.
Whoa, you cuddled?
How many times?
Shut up. It was nice.
I didn't.. I just don't think
I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
What's the big deal? You just say what you want to do to her
and what you want her to do to you
and what you think other people might
be doing to each other.
Look. I tell you what.
Try something on me.
Please be kidding.
Why not? Come on.
Just...just close your eyes
and tell me what you'd like
to be doing right now.
Okay. I'm, uh.. I'm in my apartment..
- Yeah...what else? - That's it.
I'm in my apartment. You're not there.
We're not having this conversation.
Alright, look, I'll start, okay?
- Joey, please. - C'mon, c'mon, alright.
Ready? Look.
Oh, Ross..
You get me so hot.
I want your lips on me now.
- Huh? - Hmm.
Alright. Now you say something.
I, uh, I really don't think so.
-C'mon, you like this woman, right? - Well, yeah.
- You want to see her again, right? - Sure..
Well, if you can't talk dirty to me
how you gonna talk dirty to her?
Now, tell me you want to caress my butt!
Okay. Turn around.
I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Alright. Alright. I'm not looking. Go ahead
Okay.
[clearing throat]
I want..
Okay, I-I wanna... feel your..
...hot, soft skin with my lips.
There you go!
Keep going. Keep going.
I, uh..
...I wanna take my tongue, and..
...and, and..
Say it.
Say it!
Run it all over your body until you're..
...trembling with...with...
With..?
Funny story.
You're not gonna believe this.
It's okay, it's okay, I was always rooting
for you two kids to get together.