hey it's mark here founder of making yours and creator of love in five steps
so we filmed a video not long ago on commitment and it got such good feedback
that today I want to take things a step further
I've got Jamil back with me to demo exactly what you need to say if you want
a guy that you're seeing casually to commit to you stage it
gamophobia the fear of commitment but it can also mean the excessive persistent
uncontrollable or irrational fear of marriage now to begin I have a little
little bit of a confession to make I may have used to been a commitment-phobe I'm
not proud of it but I was some guys will commit straight away and when they do
that's fantastic but other guys perhaps like me a few years ago need that little
extra push even when we really like the girl society to varying degrees does
raise men to fear commitment so that's what this video is for it's for helping
those of you who may be dating someone casually and forgot who may have a
little bit of a fear of commitment but who still really likes you to get him
over that line get him to commit alright so I want to make this video crystal
clear so you know exactly what to do so rather than me tell you I've got
jamia back and she is going to show you she's going to demo the exact word you
need to say and exactly how you can have the commitment conversation with a guy
who's a little bit nervous about commitment and whom you seem casually
first she's going to demoed the ineffective way to do it and then after
that she's going to demo the way that actually works now before we do a few
principles to keep in mind when you're having this conversation with a guy
number one most important thing no pressure zero pressure it's his decision
number two frame the conversation as you both will be on the same page you're a
high value woman who's happy where she's at in life remember that number three
don't use the words relationship or boyfriend for men who are a little bit
funny about commitment these words are going to set off alarms in their heads
that you just don't need to set off instead use the word exclusive number
four delicately remind him that you are a high-value woman with options now
you'll see the way Jameer does this it's not putting pressure on him it's just
her saying hey what's good for you is good for me number five set an end time
now this sounds really backwards but at 100%
I promise you you'll see the way jamia does this too and number six now this
isn't really something you say but just check in with yourself that this is the
right guy so ask three questions number one do I know this guy well enough to
sacrifice the benefits of being single number two has he invested enough time
and effort into me to make him worthy of commitment and number three other any
red flags I've noticed that many should wait a little bit longer if you've asked
yourself those questions that are happy with the responses now is the time to
have a conversation now first I'm going to show you the wrong way to do it so
this is how most women go in and ask a man for commitment I'll highlight the
things that you may add does in this conversation that inadvertently push the
guy away here's how not to do it hey can I talk you about something yeah okay
well we're seeing each other for a month and I wonder what we are she's me you
haven't introduced me to anyone as your girlfriend like how can we be seeing
each other for a month and you haven't introduced me to any of your friends as
your girlfriend what we're doing and when are you going to offer to change
relationships done because if you like me that's something that you do well I
haven't even bought available age you're seeing other girl solar noise really but
do you mean not really what a world it won't Trudeau Wow
I haven't even been speaking to other people since I've AZ because I have
enough respect for someone to stop talking to other people when I'm seeing
someone well of course not like Renu Rose got
with you too lost but I'm lots of problem and you should want to commit
your relationship with me and back the truth around this is what Ray's
relationship right now
okay so hopefully that gives you a good idea of exactly how not to do it now I
want to show you a clip of how to do it in this clip Jamil will do the five
things I've talked about have a watch how can I talk you about something
yeah doesn't sound good no it's not a big deal I promise I just want to figure
out where you're at with you me okay okay because I've had a couple of data
message me and like a guy went out the other night asked me on a date and I got
a message from ol booty call like when to catch up but no don't worry it's fine
I told them both notice but I just want to get a feel for it because if you're
still out having fun like that's totally fine like it really is but I don't want
to go on the same page so that we can move forward with a clear conscience
honestly I don't mind what we do I just want to die on the same page well I
don't really want you going on dates other guys okay well I like you so if
you want to give you exclusive thing a try like we could do that if you just
try it first a couple of weeks to see how I feel but if you don't want to do
that as well that that's totally fine like I said I really just want to get on
the same page so you're going to see other guys otherwise well no not
necessarily but I don't have to feel guilty if I do well I don't want you
sleeping with other guys okay well like I said it's up to you so what do you
want to do maybe maybe we can strive for two weeks and see I'll go you shop well
yeah I want you hooking up anyone else okay well we'll try it for two weeks
we'll see how we fill up enough okay sounds good okay now I do realize that
was acting it out so I'm sure you can see the differences in the way a man
would respond to her approach in the second video versus the way she came at
me in the first the best part of this is if you do all these things right you get
a great result either way either he commits to being exclusive with you in
which case it's going to evolve into a relationship as YouTube grow emotionally
closer or he doesn't commit which might be disappointing in the short term but
at least you know where he stands and where his feelings lie if he's not fazed
about the idea you seeing other men then you can move
forward with your own life appropriately well that's it thanks so much for
watching thank you to Jamir for coming in again and doing such an amazing job
she really does do such great things for this channel make sure you subscribe
leave a comment below any questions on this topic at all about commitment I
would love to hear from you and I want to know your thoughts and the questions
you want answers to so make sure you comment below or if you've got a really
detailed questions head to make him yours combo you forward slash coaching
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with the bell to get notified we've got two videos every single week and you
want to get notified when they're out I look forward to seeing you very soon hey
can I talk about me I didn't I thought we're just going to come in over there
and they're generally going lock in every day Jimmy I'm not ready for a shit
right now not ready for a relationship right now