Hey everyone.
Today we're going to talk about,
Dependent Personality Disorder.
What is it?
So like I said,
Today we're going to talk about Dependent Personality Disorder.
Now before we get started,
I want to talk about this diagnosis and how I was trained with this diagnosis.
First of all,
It's something that we as clinicians are supposed to take extreme caution with.
We don't diagnose quickly.
We have to take in to consideration,
Someone's age.
Their situation.
Maybe a diasability.
Because there are times in our lives when we're going to have all of this criteria.
Like if I am a young child and I am dependent upon my adult.
My parents.
My grandparents.
Whoever is taking care of me.
To take care of me.
I would meet the criteria of this.
But because I'm a child, I really can't take care of myself.
And many of us struggle with disabilities.
Things that make it impossible for us to care for ourselves on our own.
So we're always going to be dependent on someone else.
And we could meet this criteria, yet again.
So it's important that we take everything in to consideration.
You know,
Their situation.
Maybe a disability.
Whatever.
Before we diagnose.
But many of you have request I do this video.
So I'm going to talk to you about it.
But I just want to make sure that you understand,
This is not something to be taken lightly.
Not many people are diagnosed with this.
Because situationally,
It could be appropriate for us to be dependent on another person.
That's what makes the world great.
We have a lot of support around us, right.
And sometimes we really really need that support.
However,
There are people in the world who struggle with Dependent Personality Disorder.
And just to give you a short description,
Before I get in to the eight criteria about Dependent Personality Disorder,
I will give you kind of just a synopsis of what it is.
So those who struggle with, I guess I will call it DPB.
DPD.
Wow, my eyeballs.
Even though I had lasik, it looked like a B.
But DPD.
Those people really struggle to take care of themselves.
In fact, they fear.
Their greatest fear is that they cannot care for themselves.
Therefore,
They seek out care.
And assurance.
And direction.
And everything.
From other people.
Now usually it's one main person.
Most people who struggle with this,
Will find one person in their life that they really depend on.
And they don't make decisions without them.
And they wait for them to say things are okay.
And they won't start projects until that person has agreed.
So these people lack self-confidence.
They worry that they can't care for themselves in any way.
And it can be a really scary place to live.
And they're,
I mean, imagine if you like you felt like,
You couldn't even depend on yourself to take care of your basic needs.
That's really hard.
Now there are eight criteria.
And so I will just start at the top.
The first one that we have to meet says,
'Has difficulty making every day decisions,'
'Without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others.'
Like I said,
It's really difficult for them to make any decision on their own,
Because they feel like they aren't able to do it.
They can't make the proper decision.
They can't do the right thing without someone else saying that it is the right thing.
Now the second is,
'Needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of his or her life.'
And that's that simple need of not being able to take care of yourself.
You need people to be responsible,
Because you inherently feel that you can't be responsible.
That every decision you make is wrong.
Or incorrect.
Or not complete.
Or whatever.
And so you're going to rely on someone else and expect them to do it.
Now the third diagnostic criteria is,
'Has difficulty expressing disagreement with others,'
'Because of fear of loss of support or approval.'
So that would be,
If we won't even fight with someone.
Even though they have been a total ass.
Because that person is our dependent person.
That's our one person that we count on to make our decisions,
And to tell us when to go.
And tell us when to stop.
And tell us what to wear.
Or whatever.
We don't want that person to go away.
Because in the back of the criteria after this,
They talk about how if they lose that one person that cares for them,
They immediately, like, in to panic mode, must find someone else.
Because imagine if you feel like you can't make any decisions on your own,
And the person,
Let's say it was your grandmother who was your caretaker that you depended on,
Passes away.
We don't have anybody else to make,
We don't know what to do.
It's chaos in our head.
We feel really scared and really unsure.
And honestly just frightened for our lives.
We feel like we can't care for ourselves.
We need to find someone else who will.
And they may fill that spot without any judgement of the other person.
They can do it at risk, at their own risk almost.
Like they will move quickly and latch on quickly.
So it can be really hard.
Now the fourth is,
'Has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on his or her own,'
'Because of lack of self-confidence in judgement or abilities,'
'Rather than lack of motivation or energy.'
So this person can be completely motivated and want to get all of these things done.
But if someone wont help them along and help initiate it,
They won't even start it.
And often times in work it can be really hard for these people.
Because they will never, you know,
Take it that extra step.
Or initiate a project.
Or rise above.
Because they are afraid that they won't do it right.
Now the fifth criteria,
'Goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others.'
'To the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant.'
These can be people who will,
They may hate to be outdoors.
But because their one support always likes to hike,
They will go hiking three or four days a week.
Even though they hate it.
Or anything that they just dislike or is really uncomfortable for them.
Maybe they fear public restrooms,
And their person works in a restaurant,
And they want to work at that restaurant too to be close to them.
They will do whatever.
They will put themselves in any situation that may be extremely uncomfortable.
May really bother them.
And they will do it anyways.
Because they just want to be around them.
They want to be nurtured and supported in any way possible.
Now the sixth one is,
'Feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone,'
'Because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for him or herself.'
And that's why, like I said,
They will immediately try to latch on to someone else.
Because being alone is something that they simply cannot tolerate.
Now number seven,
'Urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support,'
'When one close relationship ends.'
Like I said,
If it was your grandmother that took care of you and she passes away.
Or maybe it's a marriage and you get divorced.
Or it's a friendship and the friendship ends.
You will seek quickly to find someone else replace them.
Now the final, number eight is,
'Unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of him or herself.'
And I think that is the core of the whole thing.
That they fear so much taking care of themselves.
They feel like they can't.
They can't make any decision that's right.
And it doesn't really state why we think this starts.
But a lot of it, it builds from self-confidence.
And feeling like, you know, we have the ability.
A lot of us take that for granted.
That we have the ability to care for ourselves.
And we don't consider that a question.
But in their life,
That is always a question.
Can I take care of myself?
'I don't think I can.'
'I don't think I can make the right decision for myself.'
And if any of you have this diagnosis.
Or you find yourself struggling with these things,
Like I said, we have to take extreme caution when diagnosing this.
Because situations in our life can lead us to things like that.
And it can be a temporary thing.
And that doesn't mean that we have Dependent Personality Disorder.
However, for many people in the world.
This is something that they struggle with day in and day out.
And I would encourage you to seek professional support.
I know that when we find someone who is finally, you know,
Meeting our needs.
And nurturing us in the way that we feel that we need.
It can be enough.
And it almost feels like this takes a back seat.
But it is pervasive.
It's through your whole life.
And the sooner you can reach out,
To a therapist.
To a psychiatrist.
And even get in a group.
Sometimes it can help to just know you're not alone.
And that you're not the only one experiencing things like this.
The sooner we do that, the better.
So please reach out.
Please contact, you know, a therapist in your area.
Or get on whatever, if you have socialised medicine,
And you have to get on a list or something.
Please take the steps to make that happen.
Because even though this can feel like it will never go away,
With the proper care and support,
It definitely can.
And keep working with me as we work towards a healthy mind and a healthy body.
And as always,
Don't forget to subscribe to my channel.
I put out videos all of the time and you don't want to miss them.
And make sure if you like these diagnostic videos, you give it a thumbs up.
And don't forget to share.
Because like I said,
Many people are out there.
And they are struggling.
And they feel like they are all alone.
And they are the only one feeling this way.
And wouldn't it be great if that was,
If we could tell them that they are not alone.
And that they are not the only one.
Because we all know that we are a wonderful community.
Working together to break through the stigma of mental health.
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