- I'm Brooke Shaden, a fine art photographer
and in this series, I'm sitting down with artists
to talk about greater creativity
before taking them on a photo shoot to push their art
to new levels and capture an image that speaks
to the limits they want to break free from.
NC is a fine art photographer exploring vulnerability
through her images.
After losing her mom as a young teen
and failing to see vulnerability modeled in the men
around her, she believed strength meant repressing emotions.
Now, NC uses her creativity to change the narrative,
baring herself to the camera, as well as to the world.
What has your background been like to get you
to a place where you're exploring creativity right now?
- Just through like trials and tribulations
throughout my life.
Having to depend on myself a lot.
It forces you to be creative in problem solving.
So I grew up in small island in Dominica, in the Caribbean.
Once my mother passed, we lived with my father
for a couple of years, and then we were sent to New York.
Just that whole culture shift going from the Caribbean
to Brooklyn, you have to figure out a lot of things.
- Right and you were 14, 15.
- Yeah.
- At this time?
- About 14.
- All of these experiences so far in your life
have been a lot of trauma, moving from one place to another,
losing your mother, and then throwing yourself
into academics where you studied engineering and chemistry.
- I remember always talking to myself and saying, you know,
don't worry about it.
Don't worry, just keep going.
Just keep going, just keep going and it'll work out.
And it always does.
- Yeah.
- And I think I started to really try and pay more attention
to the miracle that I am.
- Well, you and I have talked in the past about your family
and how you view vulnerability.
How does that show up in your work and in your life?
- Growing up in the islands, there's a lot of chauvinism.
So men can do this.
Girls can't do that.
And that didn't sit well with me as a child.
- I'm glad.
- I couldn't figure it out.
- Yeah.
- I couldn't figure it out.
So, I looked at my brothers, my one brother, in particular,
and I realized, man, this guy can do anything he wants.
So I liked that idea.
And I think that's when I started associating
a lack of vulnerability with kind of like male,
you have to be strong.
- Sure, yeah.
- Basically you have to be real strong.
- So they're not showing you.
- Right.
- That they're vulnerable and so you think.
- How dare I show.
- Well success might come with that.
- Yes.
- You know, with like putting up that wall
and just pushing forward and.
- Oh yes, absolutely.
It was, you know,
something that you could use to attack me on.
- Yeah.
- And I would never allow that.
So it, I do think you have to recognize
where vulnerability is necessary
but recognize how you receive it as well.
- Yes.
- So if I keep seeing it as an attack on myself,
there's no way I'll put myself out there.
- Right.
- Females are kind of being looked at as less than
so I never wanted to be that.
- Yeah.
- And then once I realized, well, no,
I'm pretty much everything.
- Yeah.
- That's essentially what vulnerability is.
It's showing everything.
Photography allowed me to show myself how amazing I am.
And even those words, saying those words feel weird.
- Yeah.
- [NC] But I know I'm supposed to say them
- We're gonna brainstorm the image that you wanna make.
Where do you wanna take this photo?
- Kind of show like a opening up of myself kind of.
- [Brooke] Yeah.
- In letting go.
- That's an amazing topic.
So the idea of release.
- [NC] Yes.
- Of being vulnerable and letting go.
How do you think you wanna portray that?
- As we go through life, a lot of things stick to us
and that's pretty much what we call baggage.
- [Brooke] Yeah.
- Right?
I definitely want to include that in the photo,
kind of a release or representation of that baggage.
- What else?
- Books.
- [Brooke] Yeah.
- I do love reading.
In reading, I realized how much more of me
that opens up in terms of my thoughts.
So, people always told me that, you know, pretty much
like a shut book.
So I think, you know, once you're becoming more open,
making yourself more vulnerable to the world,
you're essentially becoming an open book.
- [Brooke] Absolutely.
- [NC] So.
- So using a book as well, I assume the book will be open.
- [NC] In my mind, I'm thinking the first image,
maybe have it shut.
- [Brooke] Okay.
- To represent, you know, my prior self.
With old books, there's a lot of dust on them.
But I'm also relating that into ashes,
releasing the old self.
- [Brooke] Yes.
- So kind of wanna like blow off, you know,
the dust off the old book.
- [Brooke] Yeah.
- [NC] And then open it up.
- We are going to do the photo shoot here.
- Yeah.
- In a studio.
We're gonna be sitting on a suitcase.
- Yes.
- Chain around the suitcase and around you.
- Yeah, we'll see how that looks.
- Yes, we'll see.
And that's gonna be the fun of this
is just figuring it out as we go.
- Yes.
- So what do you wanna do first to set up?
- Probably set up the backdrop
'cause I don't have too much experience with that.
All the way.
- Okay.
Okay, let's take a look at the camera
and see if we can possibly do a test shot.
We are going to use the Sony A7R4 which is extremely good
for the pixel count, for the resolution
'cause you can print it really, really large.
And there's a 16 to 35 millimeter lens on here.
I typically shoot personally anywhere
between 24 and 50 millimeters.
So do you wanna start with this lens?
- Yeah, definitely wanna start with it?
- Okay, we'll start here..
- See what it looks like.
- And then if we need to go to the 24 to 70 GM,
then we will and then that way you can go
to that 50 millimeter if you like it like that.
- [NC] Yes.
- I'm gonna pop in the tough memory card and remote.
- [NC] Yeah.
- Do you normally shoot with a remote
- After I saw your video, I got one.
- Okay, cool, cool.
So you're well aware of not having to use
the ten second timer and run back and forth.
- [NC] Yeah.
- So this is the fake luggage.
- Yeah.
- This is like, not real.
- Yeah.
- Clearly if you sat on that, it would be.
- [NC] Yeah.
- Silly looking.
- I was actually thinking about like this,
like, you know, like when you're waiting on the train
or something.
- Oh yeah.
So then this is a stand in for this.
- Yes.
- So that later you can take a photo of this separately.
- Yes.
- And edit it in.
- Edit it, enlarging it, layer it in there.
- I would suggest since this is so dark,
putting a piece of black fabric over the seat
so that it's easier to composite in.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.
- Okay, so I'm gonna grab that for you
and then we can try a test shot.
There it goes.
- There it is.
Okay.
Oh, I really flung that one.
I don't know.
- I'm not so sure about that one.
Oh actually it was pretty.
- Yeah, that one.
I like how the lights hitting me,
but you see how straight I am.
- Yes, yeah.
You might even try just like bending that knee
so you're a little lower
'cause then the light will hit you in the right spot.
I'm amazed.
- I'm glad you're amazed.
- I can't be, the perspective was exact.
The size of the suitcase was exact.
I love these images.
The light is just so painterly coming in the window.
- Yeah.
- It really worked well.
- Beauty of the sun.
- And this image, in particular, with the book
and the way that the dust hits,
I think that it looks so realistic.
Like you can just see.
- Yeah, in between the pages.
- Every little speck of it everywhere.
You've created three images
that are largely about vulnerability.
Everybody has to acknowledge their vulnerability
or their lack of vulnerability
and question how that impacts their life.
- [NC] Yes.
- How has it impacted yours?
- In the first way, lack of it kind of shuts me away
from people, you know, closed doors, so to speak,
but opening up to it allows me
to realize more of my gifts really,
find out more of myself through other people,
my interactions with other people and really the value,
see the value that I have within myself.
That kind of makes, the expectation makes it fixed too.
You're restricted.
You have boundaries now.
So, once you are open enough to try something else
and it's okay if it doesn't work 'cause if you look at it,
a lot of things didn't work
but you also have to look at the things that did.
- Yes.
- And the things that did work,
they were a consequence of the things that didn't.
So, I think that's just very important to just,
that's what life is.
Nobody knows how to live life actually, ya know?
Everybody lives life their own way
and we get different results.
I just think we have to do the best we can.
And I think every experience adds to our spiritual evolution
and this is a part of my.