- Oh!
[Kristen chuckles]
Hi, I'm Will Forte.
- Hi, I'm Kristen Wiig.
- [Both] And we are guest correspondents for Wired.
[bell dings]
- We will be reviewing and testing,
- Multi-tool gadgets.
[bright upbeat music]
Okay, you ready, this is, - We just open this.
[upbeat music]
- Oh, here we go.
- Oh, cool. - Look at all these stuffs.
This is kind of cool.
- It's like a Swiss Army knife, but a credit card.
You know sometimes when you're like
how far away is that from that?
And you can take the card out and be like,
- First of all, - Four centimeters.
- Before I knew that this was the thing,
I was like how are we gonna get into this fricking box?
- [Kristen] The wallet ninja multi-tool
is your everyday tool that easily fits in your wallet.
- [Will] It functions as a screwdriver, bottle opener,
box opener, can opener, cellphone stand,
eyeglass screwdriver, fruit peeler and more.
- Fruit peeler?
- Star31B2 said,
"got this for my teenage son's stocking for Christmas
and he loved it.
And I got a 'cool mom' out of that one. LOL!
My husband wants one now. LOL!"
Five stars.
- Janel said, "useless, I deeply regret this purchase."
One star.
All right.
- So as you can see, you can open a box.
Wait, can I see this for a sec?
- Yeah, check it out.
- Oh, there's a little screwdriver thing in here,
that's kinda cool.
- How about this one for you?
- All right, let me find the fruit peeler.
- No, it's this one.
- Oh, bottle opener, okay.
- You've got this, I believe in you.
You got this, you got this.
- Look can opener's right there, right?
- This is a bottle. - Oh, this is a bottle.
[Kristen laughs]
[gas whooshing]
I mean, I knew it was a bottle, I know the difference.
- Do you though?
- Yes.
- This is what I would call a can.
How do you do that?
- Oh, I see you go like this.
- Yeah, I don't know how you would, can opener.
- Screwdriver, okay, here we go.
Oh, this is amazing, look at that.
- That's great,
it came back on board. - Yeah, I give this
little point an A-plus.
Cell phone stand.
Oh, yeah, then you do this with a credit card maybe.
- For what?
I've just finished lunch and now I'd like to pay the bill.
My card is presented to you.
[Kristen chuckles]
That's great.
- It's,
- Yeah.
[upbeat music]
- [Kristen] I think it's a great idea.
- It was tough to open that can,
but so many useful things in such a tiny little item.
$14.98 that sounds,
- That's reasonable. - Right to me.
I'm gonna give it three stars.
- I agree.
[upbeat music]
- This is the atomic bear paracord bracelet.
Okay.
- Do you put it on your actual body?
- I mean, it's a bracelet.
- [Kristen] Oh, there's a compass.
- Be ready to survive
with the atomic bear paracord bracelet.
- [Kristen] Hey, here's an uplifting quote.
Did you know that cold is the number one cause of death?
- Take the five survival gear essentials
just one stylish accessory.
Firestarter, reliable compass, loud emergency whistle.
[Kristen whistles]
Ferro rod sriker, and 12 feet of military-grade paracord.
- So I got a compass, so I always know which way I'm going.
I like that.
Oh my God, yours and I are opposites.
- [Will] What?
- Look, your south is on the top
and my south is on the bottom.
That's not good.
If we were lost in the woods together,
we would literally try to meet
and then go in opposite directions.
This compass is defect.
- Paracord is trying to keep us apart.
PJ says that, "compass doesn't work," one star.
"I should have tested it
before I went hiking in the jungles of Pamama."
He spelled Panama wrong.
I'm assuming it's Panama. - It's Pamama.
- If you're going in the jungles of Pamama
and you don't have a correct compass.
- Yeah.
Ryan Robinson says, "great for things."
- [Kristen] Great for things.
- "But probably not making waffles," five stars.
- He does, so that's good.
[both whistling]
- Oh my God, that is very loud, I mean that's a good.
- Mine doesn't work.
[both whistling]
Will turn around wherever you are,
go the opposite way and find me.
[both laughing]
[Kristen whistling]
- Ferro rod striker, I think.
- I still don't know what a rod striker is.
- Is that it?
Or is there something you strike it on here?
Oh, the other end.
This end.
[Will striking rod striker]
[people laughing]
[upbeat music]
If you need this to survive,
I'm sorry I gotta give this a two-star,
just based on the compass thing.
It's like that's a big part of it.
Like we have two different, let's make sure,
what is it saying now?
- South. - North.
I'm sorry, I might have to give it a one and a half.
[upbeat music]
Okay, this is a transforming robot LED flashlight.
It's portable, energy efficient, and durable.
- A great present for any occasion.
Amazon Customer said, "made from cheap plastic."
- [Kristen] That's a good review.
- That's the Amazon Customer, three stars.
- Joanna said, "not worth your money,"
these are one star.
- All right, so.
- It's a great light.
It's a very lightweight flashlight I'll give it that.
Wait, what are these little leg?
[both singing]
It kind of looks like an orange cockroach from the future.
But are we missing something?
Did something just vibrate?
Wait, does this come out?
- Oh, wait a second.
Is that?
Oh! - Oh!
[Kristen chuckles]
It's worth it.
- I could see getting one of this and naming it.
- Yeah, okay.
[upbeat music]
Well, it says what it is.
It's a robot LED flashlight, so that's what you're getting.
- You're getting a practical tool.
And I just had a baby
and I could see her in a couple of years
wanting to play around with this thing as a toy
and as a useful light.
I'd give this three stars.
No, you know what, I'm not gonna have you shame me.
- I'm not shaming you. - It's our different
number of stars.
How many stars do you give it?
- I guess two.
[upbeat music]
- The Swiss Army multi-tool card.
This is nine tools in one compact, agile,
and ready to face any adventure head on.
The Swiss card showcases innovation, dependability,
and unique convenient style.
- First impression is it talks a big game,
it says a bunch of uses, and we will be the judge of that.
- I like this first look,
because it's kinda like Swiss Army but it's flat.
No name said, "clearly a menacing and dangerous array
of deadly armament."
Five stars.
- Then The King said, "bad quality,
I don't like anything about it."
One star.
Let's see what we got here.
Scissors. - I love a little scissor.
- Yeah, okay.
Toothpick.
Now what is this?
- [Kristen] Screwdriver.
- Oh, screwdriver.
Do you wanna pull another one out?
- Sure.
Nail file.
- And we got.
There are the tweezers.
- Don't do, don't do it.
- Oh, I got one.
I got one. - Out of your nose?
- Yep. - Didn't that hurt?
- I am so used to pulling hairs
out of my nose. - Okay.
- It looks like there's something
right in there. - There is,
but you can't get it out.
You need a tool to get the,
oh, wait, I think you go like this.
Do you know how to pick a lock?
- No - Me either.
- I mean, I just shove stuff.
So, I don't know I would be the worst.
Really. - I wanna learn
how to pick a lock.
That'd be like a really cool skill.
[upbeat music]
- It's quite a lot of handy things.
- I give this four.
- I think four stars seems about right.
Well, you know, I'd give it three stars
cause it's a little expensive for what it is.
A billionaire would probably give it four stars.
Are you a billionaire?
[Kristen chuckles]
Kristen has to go, so, - I have to go.
I have to go north.
My compass says to go over there, so I'm gonna go that way.
- Yes.
- Thanks for having me.
[both laughing]
- I will be handling the final product.
[upbeat music]
I don't even wanna read what it is,
cause I wanna see if I can even figure this out.
This and like this.
But then what would it be used for?
Okay, I'm gonna read the thing.
These are LED flashlight gloves.
The gloves that are a flashlight.
Just strap on your LED flashlight gloves,
and it's as simple as point and bwala.
So Jason said, "does the trick.
I got these especially with the daylight getting shorter
and walking my dog at night and picking up his doodoo.
The gloves are easy to put on and off."
So Jason gives it five stars.
L.Kobak said, "quality, quality!
It's junk, no port for USB,
no screwdriver included like box says.
So many loose threads, not good quality, returning all four.
And this is one star from L.Kobak.
How do we get this light on?
Probably, oh, as simple as.
Oh, that's interesting, look at that.
It's not super dark in here, so I just can't tell.
It does make me feel a little bit like Spider-Man.
I mean if, oh, there we go.
And I can do like, you know, lizard light show.
I would take these to a rave, but I'm not really a raver,
so I would give this to a friend who's a raver
and tell them have at it, tell me how the rave was.
This actually does feel like something MacGruber would use.
It's almost a little fashion statement too,
it's kind of an attempt to be real cool
and I feel like MacGruber would think this was a cool thing.
I don't know that I'm putting it on correctly.
I think it should cost 9.99,
but I bet it's gonna cost 29.99.
Ah, okay, so somewhere in the middle.
[upbeat music]
I do have two dogs,
so I think anything that keeps the poop in the bag
is good by me.
I'm gonna give it three stars.
There were some interesting products.
The very first one seems like
maybe the one that I would be most likely to have purchased.
It didn't seem like it was too expensive,
and it seemed like there were a bunch of uses,
and even though the can opener seemed tough to figure out.
And it's just a very helpful tool.
The things with the lights,
you know, probably less likely to buy those.
And the Swiss Army thing was a little expensive,
but seems like it would be useful also.
Even the worst were still worth checking out.
I'm Will Forte, Wired correspondent signing off.
[bright music]