hey how's your family how are they doing
uh family's doing well conan uh you know
we our kids used to go to the same
school
and now all the kids go to this my kid i
miss him he went off to a private school
45 000
a year from our kitchen online i know
everyone's no matter
so does that bother you that you're
paying that much yeah
fancy private school and he's in the
kitchen on
zoom yes it does i'm
i'm trying to get my money's worth i'm
sitting next to him
and taking some classes but i'm out of
frame so the teacher doesn't see me like
i took some digital photography
yesterday
or uh yeah yesterday it was a good class
and then tuesday's algebra which i might
skip
but i'm looking forward to thursday is
the guidance counselor meeting i'm going
to go to
oh you're going to go to the guidance
counselor meeting yeah because it's a
lot cheaper than a
a therapist you know
[Laughter]
you're not supposed to talk to your
child's guidance counselor about your
personal problems
i guess not but here's what i'm thinking
conan tell me if you're on board with
this
wouldn't it be cheaper to
just keep your kid home forget the
online stuff and just have them
listen to ted talks and watch jeopardy
for like a year
it would be cheaper for sure yeah and
maybe just as good an education
problem you know probably not quite as
good but close
i think you've got a good idea there i
really do
i have a lot of good ideas well let's
not get crazy
you know i will say this i visited you
as i said and i hate to repeat this but
just before your surgery i think i'm the
only real friend that came over to visit
you
and i noticed that you and your wife
were very good
about masks social distancing
you did it we ate outside um
it was it was very nicely done uh and i
was proud of you
thank you well you know you have to be
responsible in these colgate times
yeah um the the difficulty with the mask
is
um i don't get recognized as much
anymore
and i like i don't know about you conan
but i think you like attention you like
to get recognized
i think we all like like it when we walk
down the street and
you know attractive women just go crazy
for us
yeah so what i've done was i've created
a mask
that looks exactly like this part of me
and yet still not recognized really
still not getting recognized
but here's the great thing about the
mask you could
let your nose hairs just grow
you don't have forever brush your teeth
right you don't need braces
yep you can actually use the nose hair
to tie the mask on to secure the mask
this is all good advice like you said i
have a lot of good advice and theories
you know i think between covid and your
your shoulder surgery you've had a lot
of time to think
um not about good or productive things
but you're you're generating a lot
that's what i'll say well it's not a lot
of time to think it's a lot of time to
take painkillers
so this is all coming from the
painkillers uh-huh uh-huh
well just save me a pill or two if you
know what i mean
what do you mean not only do i know what
you mean but i hear what you're saying
yeah and i said it very explicitly so i
don't know why i said if you know what i
mean
i basically just told you to save me two
pills but you are um you're not a pill
taker i know that
i'm not i'm not a pill taker you grew up
in a very strict catholic family
my father my father's a doctor there was
uh no
you know we didn't take medicines for
anything we didn't take aspirin
uh we never took any uh antibiotics
um most of my brothers and sisters
passed away in early childhood
uh i was one of the only survivors but i
still
generally accidentally passed away yeah
yeah was not intentional they just you
know we didn't have modern we didn't
have modern medicine
you know my father as a doctor didn't
believe in modern medicine
no what about western medicine uh no
he likes northern medicine northern
medicine is the most
underrated medicine in the world it's
fixing everything with ice
like yeah look at that it's all ice
yeah there you go i've been living in an
ice block
conan for like the last five years
my body has never been without an ice
pack on something
it's an attractive look for you to have
those ice packs on you