How ya goin' everyone?
Welcome back to Destination F'd
SKU Code 26
Why invest in a ladder?
When you can invest in a friend?
Is my first observation
That's why!
Ladders will never get distracted
And turn their back on you
Whereas free labour friends
Absolutely will
She doesn't even have anything else to do
She's just like
Oi, I'm bored
I wanna go back inside
Have a look at this!
Crikey! It reminds me of the shit I saw
In the medi-evil torture museum
In Prague
You got it, you got it, YOU GOT IT!
Yeah-heh-eah!
Nah
Yeeeaah?
Nah
Yeah
Nah, nah, nah
This is hard to watch
This is one of the hardest videos
I've ever had to watch!
It's more suspenseful than that baby Iguana dodging snakes
On the Galapagos
In Planet Earth 2
This poor man!
And what about the beer?
You think it likes this as well?
F#%k
No!
We're gonna come back to this
Here's a human entering the workplace
OHHH
BAAM!!
Who has time to do this at work?
She must be employed at a trendy tech company
Then again they're all getting laid off like regular people
Google is like
"Sorry, we can't feed ya every day anymore"
"Don't forget ya eyelashes on the way out"
Have you seen my gherkins lately?
Oh here they are
Let me open it
Oooo that's a bit whiffy
Aaannd f#%ked!
Whoa! Big win for the gherkins!
Meanwhile, at the South American workshop
My Ozzy Man DF Senses
Are instantly tingling
We have one bloke relaxing
Having a cheeky scroll
And another bloke wedging his pole
Into a door
The pole says THOU SHALL NOT BE WEDGED!
OH hoh!
How's ya foot?!
The dickhead meanders over
He's like
"That's weird"
"I swear it was secure'
"Clearly it f#%ken wasn't, Derrick!"
"Or I wouldn't have a broken foot!"
"I was just trying to make a fulcrum!"
"I want the door-"
"On a fulcrum"
"Well that's not how ya make a bloody fulcrum"
"Gee whiz that is ouchie"
"Okay, I'll be alright"
"See, I've made a fulcrum"
"IT'S NOT A FULCRUM, Stop saying that!"
"Are you alright boss?"
OHHHH NO!
Direct hit to the back of the cranium!
And look at old mate
Rush in giving direction to cloak his incompetence!
Stop, stop what you're doing
Stop it right now
Stop this!
Are you all drunk?
This is a drunk person idea
There has to be another way
There's always another way
You're not gonna push glass off the edge of the balcony are ya?
Someone question it
One of you wankers please say nooooo
Yep.
Cut to a driving test
Anxiety Activated
I don't wanna be 16 again
I don't want to
My driving instructor Ron was racist
It was an awkward time in my life
Shut up, Ozzy Man this isn't about you, tell us about the video
Well, she wants to join traffic
But the car isn't moving
She double checks the basics
Handbrake is down
It's down!
Look at the poker face on the instructor
He knows what's going on
But he swore an oath
To be silent
He must let teenagers figure this out on their own
Let's have a listen
Ohhhhhhhh
Why is living like this?
What twisted entity made this and called it life?
Run away
You know what, I don't run away as much as I should anymore
Oh dear
If this series can teach us anything
It's that you should run away during the bad stuff happening
or before if you can
I dunno why that gets harder
As an adult
I used to run away from everything when I was a kid
Maybe I'm too lazy now
Like it's better and easier to enter Destination F#%ked
And set up shop there
You know what I mean?
Anyway, I can't watch this fella anymore
It's soul destroying
Oi, February is gonna be known as Free Shipping Feb
On ozzymanshop.com
I want it all gone!
The whole warehouse
The audio keychains
The audio cards
Shirts
You buy it all
And I'll cover the shipping for you
But go go, just please
Go get it, I'll pay for the shipping
F#%ken sell it out
Link is in the post description or the comments