Doesn’t it seem like some white men are really angry lately?
Not all white men.
I said some.
According to Precarious Man Theory, when men don’t feel masculine, they tend to act out
in stereotypical gendered ways,
which is why you’re getting pushback
from the men in your life for just existing.
But it’s not you.
It’s white men.
They’re a little fragile right now.
Here’s why.
See, white men used to be able to raise a family, buy a house, and retire on one salary.
Their own.
But, thanks to growing income inequality, that’s something white men can’t do anymore.
And that’s throwing off some really comfy gender norms.
You know what else white men can’t do anymore?
Afford to keep a full-time spouse at home.
Have job security.
Depend on federal mortgage programs to help them buy a house.
And rely on subsidized high quality healthcare,
subsidized retirement programs, and social security.
These entitlement programs were part of the privilege of being a white man,
and it must be enraging to watch them slowly slip away at the hands of growing income inequality.
But you know who else is angry?
Women and people who aren’t white.
See, we’ve been excluded from these programs for longer than we’ve been included in them.
And we’re really mad about it too, so I say, welcome, white men.
You’ve officially joined the f---ed over club.
You can now join the ranks of most of the United States.
We get that you’re angry, and, while it’s not our fault, we can totally empathize
with your loss of privileges, even though we’ve never had them.
But don’t listen to me, an angry lesbian.
Let a white man tell you the exact same thing.
Once upon a time we had 98% of all of the positions of power.
And now we only have like 88%, and we think, ‘Oh my God, women are taking over.’
This is Dr. Michael Kimmel.
He’s one of the world’s leading experts on men and masculinity.
Once upon a time, the whole world was a locker room.
The boardroom of the company was a locker room, the operating theater in the hospital
was a locker room.
The law firm was a locker room.
The military was a locker room.
The locker room was a locker room.
Everywhere you went, it was all guys.
But now, women have entered every single one of those arenas.
The change in our lives has taken place so bewilderingly fast
that so many men feel like,
‘What happened?'
And now you’re getting all the advantages.
Women are getting everything.’
The guys who are the angriest are the ones who said, ‘I made a bargain with this society.
And it was the same bargain my father made and my grandfather made.
I will be a good man, I will be a good husband, I will be a good father,
I will work really hard, I will pay my taxes.
And in return for that, I should be able to support a family
by myself and buy my own house in which to raise my children.’
And what’s happened, of course, economically, is that it’s very unlikely these days.
Because you’re angry right now, white men, it doesn’t mean that women are gonna have
some kind of V8 moment where they go, 'Oh my God, you know what, they were right.
Let’s stop working, let’s stop voting, let’s stop driving cars,
let’s stop serving on juries, let’s stop having orgasms.
It’s just not worth it.
It’s not gonna happen!
It’s a done deal.
So we men have a choice.
We can be dragged kicking and screaming into the future, or we can say,
‘Hmm, this is a completely different world.
What’s in it for us?’
What’s in it for white men?
All of the available evidence suggests that the more gender equal our relationships are,
the better our health, the better our relationships with our partners, spouses, and friends,
the better our children do in school,
the happier countries are, the better corporations do,
This is a win-win all the way around.
We have come to this idea, that gender equality is a zero-sum game,
and if women win, men are gonna lose.
The reality is, when women win, men win as well.
So that’s why white men are so angry.
Their position in society is changing fast, and they’ve never had a chance to reevaluate it.
It must suck to have your previously very stable identity feel so fragile.
But does this mean we let white male fragility and anger hold us hostage?
Nope.
It means we continue to challenge men on their support masculinity that doesn’t benefit
from putting others down, and encourage men to support each other.
But not before we welcome them to the pissed-off party!
So, the next time you see an angry white guy, say, ‘Welcome to the club!’
You totally understand how hard it is to lose rights and privileges most people never had.
And while you didn’t take these things from him, you’re totally down for being angry
together to make sure everyone benefits this next time around.