Hi, everybody, Lisa Romano here, the breakthrough life coach.
And today, I want to teach you about spiritual boundaries.
So we all need boundaries.
Boundaries help us feel safe.
They help us identify our space in this physical reality
versus someone else's space in this physical reality.
If you struggle from codependency,
you easily enmesh with other people, if you are an empath,
you easily over-identify with how other people are feeling--
so imagine we have these two cosmic spaces in time.
But when you are a codependent or you
have been narcissistically abused,
and you suffer from attachment trauma, and abandonment
trauma--
[DOG GROANING]
--and you're a-- that's Alice, groaning.
She's in my office with me right now.
And you want to feel seen, right?
Because we're always trying to feel seen.
It's normal.
When you are that person, what's happening
is your physical space and time becomes
enmeshed with someone else's physical space and time.
We get quantumly entangled in a very dysfunctional way.
And spiritual boundaries as well as physical boundaries
can help us detach and begin living our own interdependent
lives where we can be around other people
without this need to enmesh.
We all have the ability to create a spiritual boundary
but not without conscious and deliberate thought.
We all have the ability to monitor
what we think but not without the awareness that we were
once unaware, and living below the veil of consciousness
in darkness, in a state of unconsciousness,
in a very unevolved state of awareness.
Human beings have the ability to activate the prefrontal lobe.
And when we do, we activate the ability
to experience what's called "meta cognition."
Meta cognition gives us the ability
to observe the way we think.
And if you are on the healing path,
if you're a spiritual warrior, if you
believe that you've come here to transcend dark energies,
if you believe that you've come here to figure it out,
and to finally emerge with the self,
and live in peace and harmony, and see love everywhere,
and exude love, then developing your ability
to set spiritual boundaries will help you
achieve this state of oneness.
Spiritual boundaries are not about punishing people.
You need the power of discernment
in order to create a spiritual boundary.
So discernment means that I have learned
to come from a state, an intention,
an intended state of love and light,
and I intend to identify people in my life who
are on the same path as me, who may not
be on the same path as me.
I have the right and the duty to myself
to understand what players in my lives are draining me.
And I have the right to heal those relationships now
so I don't have to bring them into my future,
whether that's a future life experience or just
into my future in this physical time-space reality.
I have that right.
And so do you.
So, remember, to create a spiritual boundary,
you need to be able to invoke the ability to discern.
And you have to do this from a very intentful place,
a place of love and light, not of punishment.
So if you're still at the part of your journey
where you're very angry--
and that's normal, right?
Anger is part of the healing process, right?
We're on this continuum of emotions.
And we've got to pass from hopelessness and depression
onto anger, and then irritation, and if you keep going,
eventually you'll meet a place where you let go,
and you experience more peace in your life.
Setting a spiritual boundary is about knowing
it's not about punishment.
It's not about vengeance.
It's about disciplining your mind so that you can figure out
what you're doing wrong and what's
preventing you from evolving into higher
states of consciousness.
So the first step to building a spiritual boundary
is taking the time to identify what players in your life
are not on the same path as you.
It sounds really simple.
But I can't tell you how many people that
I've coached that don't take the time
to do this inventory of relationships.
And so what happens is, below the veil of consciousness,
what we're doing is we are participating
in these patterns, right, with relationships.
We say the same things.
We feel the same things.
We behave the same way.
And we recycle these feelings and these behaviors
over and over and over and over.
And we don't realize it.
And you can be a spiritual warrior on the enlightened path
and not be aware that you are stuck in a relationship
dynamic like codependency, or love addiction, or any number
of relationship issues.
You can be stuck in that pattern and not even be aware of it.
So if you're watching this video, it's not by accident.
So what I'd like you to do is take some time
and identify the players in your life,
and identify who you believe has the ability to grow.
Who do you know in your life is willing to expand and evolve?
Who do you know in your life that isn't willing to evolve?
Who do you know that is absolutely
living below the veil of consciousness?
So take a moment to identify what relationships in your life
are actually resonating with you and which ones are not.
In terms of evolving and being able to set
spiritual boundaries so that you can really feel confident
in your own space and continue to evolve,
we've got to be able to discern who we keep in our energy field
and become responsible for that.
So let's say you identify that your best friend is somewhat--
we won't call her a complete narcissist.
But let's say she's somebody who is more narcissistic than not.
She's somebody who has no tolerance for other religions.
She's somebody who is highly volatile.
She's explosive.
She's argumentative.
And you've identified that this person is not
on the same vibrational plane as you.
So what do you do?
So what we want to do if we want to learn
how to set a spiritual boundary is
we have to come into alignment, or at least surrender to what
is.
So we say namaste to this fact that you
have acknowledged that you two are not resonating
on the same frequency.
We do not judge.
We just see it.
We acknowledge it.
And then what we do is we decide what
we want to do moving forward.
Now you have a couple of things that you can do.
You can spend less time with this person.
You can imagine her evolving.
You can lift her up in love and light.
But the key is to be able to begin unenmeshing and detaching
from this person that perhaps your energy was
very enmeshed with theirs.
So just identifying the fact that you two do not
resonate on the same frequency and may not
be on the same evolved path will help
you set a spiritual boundary.
The second reason you might need to set a spiritual boundary
is if you acknowledge or tend to feel
ashamed or worried about what you think is true for you.
I know with me, I've had these ideas about reincarnation.
I've had these ideas about codependency.
I've had these ideas about living above the veil
and below the veil.
I've had these ideas about us being
born to evolve, and to reach higher realms of consciousness,
and to eventually come to a place of oneness or unity
consciousness.
But I came from a very below the veil type family.
I came from a family that lived in the darkness and absolutely
below the veil.
I came from a family that was full of codependency and adult
children of alcoholic issues.
And so I felt like an alien in this family.
And, eventually, I realized that I did not have what I call
a "psycho-spiritual boundary" in this regard.
Because my mother, and my father,
and my sister, and my brother did not speak my own language,
I really would slip.
I would slip down the rabbit hole.
I would think there was something wrong with me.
I felt ashamed because I had these ideas.
And since then, I've learned to let people go.
And I've learned to accept and say namaste
to other people who don't think the way I do.
Even Anthony and I, Anthony and I do not share the same ideas.
But there's no conflict because there's love
and there's respect.
So he's able to stay in his space
and I'm able to stay in my space.
I respect where he's at and he respects where I'm at.
And, with that, there's this beautiful synchronicity.
And it just works.
But I am no longer ashamed of or intimidated
by what I believe is real.
So if you're struggling to accept what you think is real,
then you need what I call a "psycho-spiritual boundary."
So what that means is you've got to work on and see
your codependency.
You've got to see the patterns in your thinking which
need to be pierced so that you can send love
and light to these ideas that are keeping you stuck
and in bondage.
We want to move you to a place where you can merge
with what you believe is true.
And when you do, you'll be surprised
at how many people you pull into your life
and draw into your life that think just the way you do.
In fact, look at the video you're watching right now.
That should be evidence enough.
The third reason you might need a spiritual boundary
is if you discover that you're somebody
who is being drained by what is happening around you--
are you overly sensitive to situations that you cannot
control?
Are you involved with people who have addictions?
And are you trying to save them?
Are you very sensitive to things that
are happening in society that drain your ability
to be this great bright, bright light?
Pay attention to the things that you're focusing on.
Be aware enough to be able to discern
where you flow your focus.
There are so many things on this planet that we can focus
on that we cannot control that will absolutely drain us,
absolutely drain us.
We have to understand that we can
focus on anything in this world and whatever we focus on
will expand.
I know that there are terrible things that
are going on in this country.
But I also know that if I throw my hat into that ring and I get
overly involved, and I enmeshed with that space,
if I lose my ability to hold on to myself,
if I lose my grasp of my boundaries,
if I lose my ability to understand what I can control
and what I can't control, it's very easy for me to enmeshed
with the situation and in a dynamic that is very powerful
that I cannot control.
If you are able to get to a point where you are able
to cognitively recognize that you are spending a lot of time
focusing on a situation, or new stories,
or people that you cannot change,
it's time for a boundary.
So what do you do?
You recognize that you're losing yourself inside a dynamic.
I've been there so many times.
I've tried to save couples, friends of mine who were going
through some marital problems.
And then I would think about them all day long.
You know, I have personal issues with family members.
And I'd want to save them.
And I find that I'm waking up at 2 o'clock in the morning,
thinking about what they are saying to their spouse
or what they're saying to their child.
I have family members that are doing things
that are bad for their health.
And I find myself--
used to-- find myself obsessing about how
I could save that person.
What could I say to that person that might change their life?
Eventually, I realized that when I was losing myself
to someone else's energy field, I wasn't helping them.
When I was trying to change their path and their patterns,
I wasn't helping them.
The best thing that I could do was set a boundary for myself
and lift them up in love and light.
The best thing that I could do is be there for them
when they wanted help.
I realized I had to shutty-shutty
and I had to shine my light on people and wait for them
to come to me.
So if you find that you're losing yourself to situations,
and dynamics, and people that you cannot change, dear one,
it's time for a spiritual boundary.
And remember, boundaries are not about punishing people.
Boundaries are about us defining our space.
It's about us understanding our energy field.
It's about us respecting that we are on a particular journey,
and so is every other soul.
It's about us understanding that, in this day
and this time, we have the ability as creators,
as conscious beings who evolve past a lot
of our old dark stuff, we can actually
transcend a lot of our old patterns,
codependency, living below the veil, narcissistic abuse.
We can actually use the power of discernment.
Feel good about setting spiritual boundaries
and sometimes physical boundaries.
We can feel good about loving ourselves saying namaste
to the people who don't get us.
We can feel good about gravitating
towards groups and tribes of people that actually do get us.
We can let go when people don't like us.
We can let go.
We can understand, you're just not on my path.
And that's OK.
People who are abrasive are not on your path.
If you're reaching for love and you're reaching for light,
it's difficult to say namaste to people
who are reaching for the darkness
and want to pull you down.
But it's part of your evolution.
It's part of what you've come here to do.
When you are able to define spiritual boundaries,
it is such a gift.
You are able to accelerate your personal growth.
You were able to feel more love and more light in your body.
It's absolutely amazing.
Just remember, once again, spiritual boundaries
are not about punishment.
It's about discerning.
It's about loving the self and eventually
being able to let go of other people, not out of anger,
but out of love.
And we allow people to figure out their own stuff.
We appreciate that we are on our own soul's journey.
We have our own evolution to go through.
And so does everyone else.
And we're allowing other people to figure out their stuff.
And, in the process, what we're doing is
we're redefining our spiritual space, or our energetic space,
or our vibrational space while we
are physical beings in this very vibrational reality.
I hope this has helped you understand spiritual boundaries
and given you the power and the insight to love yourself.
Namaste, dear ones, until next time.
Bye for now.
Namaste, dear ones.
Thank you so much for joining me on this video
and for wishing to learn more about spiritual boundaries.
I just wanted to take a moment to let you all
know that I have created a monthly membership site that
is full of programs, and tools, and resources which include
meditations and some of my programs
that I have for sale on my website.
I hold monthly Livestreams in a private Facebook group.
And there are members-only benefits.
So, please, if you're interested in joining
a community of people who are interested in tools, who
are interested in absolutely healing, and moving
beyond our childhood programming,
please check it out at https://bit.ly/lisaaromano.
Namaste, dear ones.
Bye for now.