Hi.
Um ...
Excuse me.
Sorry. I didn't know it would take me this long.
What?
Uh. What?
I'm here to rent your car.
Are you—
Are you asking to rent my car?
Uh. I'm renting your car.
It's for rent.
You're— It's the blue car.
I'm sorry.
Uh.
Do I— Do I know you?
Um. Yeah, you do.
We're Facebook friends.
I'm sorry.
[Woman] I'm on Facebook.
I don't know you.
[Woman] We have mutual friends.
I'm not gonna rent my car to you.
[Car owner] I'm just not.
[Woman internally] I'm renting it. [Car owner] I mean, I don't rent cars.
I'm not going to rent you my car. I just ...
I'm not.
Okay. You don't rent cars.
Uh. Rent me that— that windmill.
I wanna buy that windmill.
The windmill?
I— I can't sell that.
I was—
I was joking.
Uh. So, let's get back to talking about the rental.
I'm gonna rent the car.
Urgh ...
I'd like to drive old bluey off the lot tonight.
I—
Imagine me driving that cool blue car down the highway,
wind blowing in my hair.
No. I don't rent my car.
I don't rent my car out to people.
Well, why?
Becau— Why?
Why do you care? Why?
Well, because this car—
[Woman] Because why?
If you just explain it to me, then I will know.
And I— I just want to rent the f***ing car, and I'll bring it back.
I will bring it back.
I don't fundamentally understand what you're telling me.
I think we could get this over with.
I think you could let me rent the car and then I could give it back.
And then we would be—
It's so easy to understand.
Unless ...
you're stupid.
You're stupid, okay?
You're a stupid guy.
[Car owner internally] The f*** is that?
I don't know her.
Do I?
Wait a minute.
Maybe I do know her.
Did we meet at an event that I'm just not remembering?
Everything in my life has come down to this moment!
All the work that I've done this year on myself,
on my family has come down to me renting that blue car!
[Car owner internally] Am I, like ...
forgetful?
[Car owner internally] Am I a forgetful person who agreed to rent his blue car?
Gimme, gimme.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
[Car owner internally] She's so confident.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
That for this!
[Car owner internally] Maybe I'm wrong.
[Woman] That for this.
[Car owner internally] Me.
[Woman] Gimme, gimme, gimme.
[Car owner internally] Wrong.
[Woman] Gimme, gimme, gimme.
[Car owner internally] I haven't lived a very fulfilling life.
I'm not proud of any of the things I've done.
My accomplishments.
My things.
I can feel myself growing less proud with every second.
If something doesn't change soon,
I'm toast.
And my lawyer said that if I don't get to rent your f***ing car,
he is gonna kill me.
I'm dead.
Do you get that?
Do you get that? I'm dead. I'm—
[Woman] Yeah. That's your fault, you f***er.
[Car owner internally] Oh, someone really wants to rent my car.
My car.
[Woman] And the kicker is
I don't even need car insurance because I get it through my credit card.
[Car owner internally] Maybe the reason my life is so difficult,
is because I'm not being generous enough with my car.
[Woman] While you sit there ...
[Car owner internally] My cool blue car.
I call the cops, I say, "Hey, I've been killed."
They say, "Hire a law— Hire a lawyer." Right?
I hire a lawyer. Guess who it is?
[Car owner internally] Hold on.
[Woman] It's the damn lawyer. They're gonna kill me again.
[Car owner internally] Where the hell are my keys?
[Woman] So, I die twice!
Is that— Is that good?
You like that kind of sh*t? You freak!
You wanna see me die twice? Yeah.
[Car owner internally] I had 'em right here.
Oh.
[Woman] Give me what I want!
[Car owner internally] Right.
[Woman] Gimme, gimme, gimme. Gimme what I want!
Give me what I want!
Gimme, gimme, gimme. Okay?
Gimme, gimme, gimme what I want.
Cool blue car!
Let me rent it!
Let me drive around.
Where were we?
[Woman] I have never been disrespected like this in my entire life!
You are a bad man!
And you will not treat me like this!
I have kids at home that I treat worse than this.
So, guess what?
The tables are turned.
I'm going home after this,
car or not, and I'm going to give my kids double what I got today.
And that's gonna be on you!
[Woman] And you are letting me be treated this way. [Car owner] Okay. Okay.
Miss!
[Woman] So, guess what?
Just give me a second.
No! No! I will never ever give you one minute!
No! I will never cease! I will never desist!
I have been here.
My energy is boundless. And I've been here a long time.
I saw Kennedy get split open like blooming onion on that car.
I saw the dinosaurs come out of the ground screaming.
Yes. They came from the ground.
And no one believes me.
[Woman] It's because I have repetitive behavior.
My therapist says I get obsessive over destructive behavior
because my mom didn't teach me how to read until I was 30.
And she taught me. She did teach me. Good on her. Good on her.
[Car owner] It's getting kind of late.
I'm gonna head in.
No!
Don't. You are gonna stay out here with me.
And you are gonna figure this out.
As long as it takes, you son of a b*tch.
We're gonna stay out here.
Do you hear me?
We're gonna stay out here, and we're gonna figure this out.
You're staying out here with me.
Your staying out here with me!
[Car owner internally] I know I've disappointed my wife.
Do you hear me?
Huh?
Do you hear me?
Okay. You can rent my car.
Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh my God!
Wow! Wow!
What is— What is happening here?
Are you— Are you doing a prank?
I don't like prank.
[Car owner] I'm sorry. I lost the key.
Are you trying to rent me a car
without a key?
Urgh!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.