hey Aubry how's everything going today excellent how are you Lindsay oh my gosh I am in a super
recording day I've been recording for the last three hours this is like episode nine for me yeah
you recorded with Michelle before me right so it is a red letter day a lot of recordings today I'm
in the zone today it's good it's good so Aubry what do you what do you call your parents what
would you say let's talk about communicating with our elders today so I call my parents Mom
and Dad it's interesting I just was hanging out with a family who all of their children
said father every time they oh my gosh wanted to end it was was so different for me because
almost everyone I know would say Dad hey Dad but every time it was father and it felt so formal
to me but it was just clearly what they're used to it's interesting yeah I remember discovering
that someone uh kind of a friend like a friend of a friend who we ended up at her Ski House one
weekend and her dad showed up and she called him father and we were shocked we were like
wow that is Old New England uh and maybe old U.S culture for me it also has a connotation of of
wealth actually I think interesting I think it doesn't have to be true but from where I've seen
it I've seen it among like very wealthy families saying that father interesting and that does ring
true for the family that I was hanging out with he's like a banker yeah they're traveling all
the time they lived in Singapore and now Hawaii and yep they were fantastic people absolutely
wonderful that's true it's interesting that's something interesting to think about if there's
a correlation there so I'm not saying there is right I'm saying there has to be but check it
out I would encourage your listeners to check it out see what what do You observe like what
do these words say about the culture of the family fascinating well and here's another question what
do you call your friends parents especially when you first meet them like I don't think I would be
comfortable especially when I was younger using a first name you yeah I I always called them by
their last name like Mrs Healey or Mrs Selby um I think it's like I think as you get older and
you go to your friend's houses it might become more acceptable for a high school kid especially
towards getting out of high school to call the parent the friends parent by the first name what
do you think like I know so we're gonna dive into this today because I think there are a lot of
um aspects at play right it depends on the people it depends on the culture so we're going to get
into this today it's going to be interesting and we definitely want to know what this is
like in your culture so this is on YouTube come to the YouTube video and leave a comment let us
know you know what do you call your parents your friends parents what is this like in your culture
we definitely want to know we're answering a listener a listener question today about what
to call friends parents in English we'll give a general rule that we follow to make sure you're
always respectful but it's going to be interesting we're going to talk about why it's so different
depending on the family the person where they live yeah and today now let me ask you a question
before we get into this Aubry today is this more from the perspective of if our listeners have
children who are visiting friends houses talking to their or is it for even our listeners as adults
if they meet their elderly parents like we're going to get into both for sure it will be more
yeah if you're traveling to the United States what should your children do and also what should you
do I think it's good to know both so yeah let's cover both for sure or or I know a lot of our
listeners are living in the states right you guys are living here and maybe all of your all of your
uh friends your kids friends are from the states so you know this is where you could get some
information on how to instruct your kid like what are the cultural norms this is going to be cool
um but I do want to remind our listeners that we have an app sometimes we forget that we have an
app you know and Aubry you always select our vocabulary words tell us a little bit about
the power list yeah exactly right so for every episode I'm selecting less common vocabulary
high level vocabulary that you might not know the definition to and then you get to click on it if
you're following along in the app you can listen to the episode while you see the transcripts which
is so helpful and then you choose this vocabulary you can add it to your personal Power Vocabulary
list so that it's super easy to access you see the definition and an example sentence
so instead of having to spend all this time looking up in the dictionary or or having you
know it's so nice to have it organized so that you can refer to it later and then actually use
it in your conversations yeah your vocabulary all in one place so good to come back and it
feels like home you come back to others English oh there's the list easy episodes the awards from
yesterday last week and then you can eliminate them once you've mastered those words so guys
go to all earsenglish.com app all right we do have an Android version and an iOS version tons
of listeners are in there members monthly members getting that personal powerless and getting those
transcripts good stuff yes absolutely get that app today you will not regret it all right so this
question then comes from Aya from Japan and she left us a five-star review Aubry in apple podcast
we love that yes thank you I I know we love your reviews we love your readings thank you guys that
helps others find us as well and it just makes our day so thank you it makes our day and she says I
love your podcast it's fun and helpful I have a question what do you call your friends parents
when I was in Hawaii a friend of mine told me that I should call her Mom Auntie blah blah
right Auntie something and her dad Uncle something I wonder if it's common in all places in the U.S
great question Aya that is so interesting such a great question we are going to dive into this give
you guys lots of interesting cultural information today but we do want to share about a couple of
recent related episodes this is so cultural and we recently shared a really fun episode 1947 about K
dramas three ways to talk about kdramas in English and that it was so in interesting to think about
what are things like in other cultures and when you watch kdramas when you watch foreign films
you learn so much about the culture it would be interesting to compare right how in those TV shows
in those movies are parents being referred to versus U.S culture versus your culture so some of
these episodes we do it's there's so much to think about it's true think about how much you learned
as a kid what were some of your shows that you like to watch as a kid Aubry do you remember like
just one for example I loved Gem and the Rockers when I was really young do you remember that one I
was like for the doll I remember there was a doll there was a TV show and I would wake up really
early because it was on at like 6 a.m on Saturday mornings so I had to wake up really earlier I
would miss it if I slept till seven I would be so sad that I missed Gem and the Rockers it was like
a cartoon about this rock band of girls they were like pretty cool really really tough girls I loved
them wow that's cool so we learned a lot about our own culture from what we watch right so check that
episode out and then we also talked about this is also a cultural episode talking about names right
how to address someone and episode 1956 was the number it's how to choose your English name so
go back into our archives guys type these in the search bar especially if you're in the app you
can search very quickly um and find these episodes yeah so the first thing we're going to dive into
is Hawaiian culture because if you haven't visited Hawaii you might not realize that the culture is
different in Hawaii Hawaii to the rest of the continental United States and this is a big one
um a family I know from Hawaii they they do call um their friends mom's Auntie just like that right
and it's so sweet it's so endearing I I sort of wish that were more the case in the rest of the
United States but this is pretty specific to Hawaii right Lindsay yeah I I like that
we're calling out Hawaiian culture is just being different being being different from the rest of
the U.S very important Point Aubry absolutely absolutely so if you travel to Hawaii you're
going to hear this you're going to notice it now you guys are going to understand what that means
in Hawaiian um they do use Auntie for an actual ant so like your mother's sister they'll call
her auntie but also their friends they're like Mom's friends they'll call them all Auntie too
so don't get confused they're not all their actual ants or aunts they just sort of call anyone that
there is about about their mom's age auntie and they just say auntie and then the first name is
that right sometimes or you know when we were playing this game with the family and they were
they were like oh you hit Auntie with the ball you know it's okay it's like they use it as a
substitute pronoun instead of like you hit her with the ball you hit empty with the ball they
didn't say auntie Nelson right that's interesting okay yeah you see that a little bit less quite a
bit less kind of in in you know in the within other parts of the US mainstream us culture so
that's kind of a special subculture a little bit exactly right it's interesting so it's good to
know I sort of wish we had something like that in the United States because our option is you know
Mrs Nelson which I know it sounds so formal right formal right so I I kind of wish we could we need
to adopt that right we need to adopt some Hawaiian culture into the rest of the country right because
if you're especially if you're let's say you're 12 it feels a little weird to use a first name
because there still is that big age Gap right 35 and the kids it's not quite right A lot of times
exactly it's okay for some people but not for everyone uh so I think as a general rule right
let's first talk about sort of younger kids when they're first meeting someone the best way to to
always be respectful is like you said Lindsay like we would always say when we were younger
Mrs or Mr and their last name Mrs Jones Mr Jones and then they might say oh call me Marie call me
Bob or call me auntie whatever they want you to call right if if whatever you use is a little too
formal it's not going to be a problem it's not offensive then they will let you know what they
would want to be called yeah so if our listeners are listening if you have kids in school maybe
give them misinstruction you know this is what you could do always go a little more formal and
then pull it back and become more casual if the parent says that's okay yeah and it's so tricky
for kids I know sometimes I'll say oh you can call me Aubry and they'll still keep calling me
Mrs Carter or they'll just say Gigi's Mom they're like Gigi's mom may I have some water because they
don't know what to say they're worried about being disrespectful it's so tricky oh that's cute what
do you think about um so sometimes you know if you if someone's younger and you tell them oh call me
you know Lindsay and they keep calling you Mrs McMahon do you feel like that's all what do you
think about that I don't know I think it wouldn't really bother me right just because they're kids
and they're just doing their best right right but um it might make me feel a little old right
and then if they're older right if it's a young kid we're very forgiving but if they're older and
they keep calling even after you said oh call me Lindsay and they keep calling you the misses then
it feels like there's this wall of professionalism of formality like we should be wearing a business
suit at home or something like if I say call me Aubry please call me Aubry because then I'm then
it's a little awkward right so always listen you know uh always listen to what people want
you know and don't be afraid to tell people how they should call you right yes what they should
say yeah so let's go into for adults because you know if you live in the United States or if you're
traveling in the United States and you're at a conference often sort of It's Made Easy because
when you're introduced to someone however you're introduced that's what you can call them right if
it's this is Mr Smith then hello Mr Smith nice to meet you if it's like yeah it's John you're
like hi John nice to meet you right and then you don't have to worry about if they're introduced
by a certain name but what about Lindsay if you know their name but haven't been introduced when
you go to greet them what would you say oh if I know their name but I haven't met them formally
introduced good question like for example maybe they have a name famous or maybe they were a
keynote speaker I know their first and last name yeah I would I think it depends on the industry
if we're thinking about a conference you know I just came back from the podcast conference it's
still a very small industry and a casual young hip techie industry I would go with the first name I
yeah I would go with the first name I think so too I think it really depends on the situation
right the industry the age of the person because I feel like anyone who's maybe 50 60 and above I
still would potentially say you know oh Mr Smith so nice to meet you if they're older because I
do feel like this is changing as with modern times with more modern Industries we're more
likely to use the first name but with someone like my dad's age I think he would say I agree
with to be called you know Mr insurance or if you meet someone's grandparent you would
definitely like if you go visit a nursing home with someone's grandparent you would definitely
be referring to everyone with their last name until in lesson until they say oh no call me
Jane exactly right so I think a good takeaway is to err on the side of being overly respectful
until they clarify right yeah so you like you were saying depending on the industry if it's
um and if if you're about the same age absolutely you can use the first name but it wouldn't be
wrong it wouldn't be offensive to say mister and use their last name and then they absolutely can
say oh call me John no big deal right sure sure you can never go wrong by being too polite it's
the key is do you listen to when they correct you and you mirror that do you do it correctly
after that right right exactly or do you feel like that's too informal do you feel still feel
like oh I should still use their Mr and their last name but I feel like my personality if anyone ever
says oh call me Larry even if they're 80 years old I'm absolutely gonna call them Larry yeah because
I want to be more on a friendship level with anyone I'm talking to right the only what about
a job interview what do you think Lindsay one of the most formal scenarios I can think of you meet
them you say oh you know hello Mr McIntyre thank you for taking the time and he says call me Larry
I would probably still revert back to the Mr McIntyre to be honest I might not say the name
that many more times in I might say it like one or two more times so if we use the name too many
times it's weird in a short period of time if it's just such a good point right and that is
something people that's an error a lot of people make that you guys want to avoid right they might
say oh call me Larry you're probably not going to need to whatever you're saying oh and then Larry
I did this and that right you just aren't going to feel very clear creepy yeah it can feel weird
um but yeah I would probably just go yeah I would probably finish off the interview thank you Mr
McIntyre again for the interview it's been great meeting you something like that to be honest say
that old Trope that's like Oh Mr McIntyre was my dad oh my gosh I have definitely heard that but
yeah so I agree especially for an interview you're really trying to stay professional respectful so
I think that is one situation where I I would also can continue with the very respectful titles
um and then maybe the second time you meet them it would be different for sure for sure
okay Aubry should we go into a role play for today what do you think let's do a little role play so
I'm playing the part of Anne because we need to be people who don't know each other I'm meeting
my friend's mother Lindsay you're a little bit older than me in this role play okay Sharon we're
meeting for the first time all right very good very good all right I'll start us out hello Mrs
Fredrickson it's so nice to finally meet you oh nice to meet you you can call me Sharon oh thank
you for inviting me to dinner Sharon I brought this bottle of wine oh that's so thoughtful of
you like it's funny as I said that thank you for inviting me to dinner Sharon I'm trying to think
what would I actually would I say her name right away like that to reinforce like she's asked me
to call her first name so I'm going to do it right now to show like oh we have this sort of bond now
right we've broken down that wall because there there is also we don't need to say it right away
she knows her name is Sharon I think it shows confidence I don't think it sounds awkward I
see what you mean like she knows her name is but I think it kind of sounds like yeah I've heard
you I respect what you asked for and now I'm just putting it back into context of my response yeah I
feel like too because there is something for when someone says go ahead and call me by my first name
there is this sort of um acknowledgment of that if you then are able to say it right away and
it does sort of tear down that wall of formality which is good it does it shows that you have the
confidence to go and just actually take action on that and do it because it's kind of safer to
stick with the more distance building way of referring to someone by their last name isn't
it it's kind of safer in a way yes exactly this is such an interesting conversation I know this
is different in the United States culture than it is in other countries in other cultures and even
within the United States right it's different in the South it's different in New England it's
um so I think one really important takeaway is that you're going to want to read the room as we
say wherever you are whoever you're with listen to what they call each other you can start with
the more formal of you know Mr um Anderson Mrs Anderson and then give them the chance to tell
you what to call them but I think especially like with Hawaii with places that do have sort
of their their own cultural language cultural norms you can learn a lot just by observing and
listening to other people's conversations yeah it's okay I love the Hawaii example
because it is a very different culture and it's so important to know we have different cultures
you're right New England is so different from the south is so different from the Mountain West
um as different from Hawaii or the Midwest so think about that I mean be a good listener right
be a good listener respond you know uh listen to what they want what they ask for and actually have
the confidence to follow up and do it correctly as they ask that's a really important key absolutely
right knowing and anticipating these cultural differences is such a vital key to connection
right you don't want to sort of build up this wall or break the connection before it's even
had a chance to start so the way you greet someone what you call them is important this is definitely
important to to think about and notice wherever you're traveling or wherever you live yeah I
think in another episode Aubry we could get into you know how do you know whether if you don't
necessarily you know their last name but you don't know if it's a miss or misses right how do you
know where to start there all of that stuff around there's also a Miz which I don't know if that even
exists anymore or if that was just in the 80s that's a good point right I feel like this is all
really evolving and a lot of you might be confused out there so that's definitely do an episode on
that soon Lindsay that would be fun that would be cool it'll be an interesting one to plan for sure
all right good stuff thanks Aubry I'll talk to you soon awesome see you next time bye [Music]