[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
Twas the day before Christmas in East London town,
where they all speak like Game of Thrones as Winterfell down.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
This is a customer announcement.
Agh.
It's snowing.
Cancel everything.
Three stories high, our story begins
in the kitchen of a YouTube channel run
by a chef and his friends.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
And you can't have Christmas pudding without loads of cream.
And covered in brandy.
Yeah.
Oh.
Ah, ha, ha.
Oh, get it on his nose.
Oh, lick it off, see?
Sorted.
Cool.
That's a wrap.
Well done everyone.
You're all right to clear this up, yeah?
Oh, and you're replying to comments on YouTube
tomorrow, right?
I thought, given it was Christmas day.
Ah, just start mid day then.
Bye Ben.
Bye Jamie.
Bye Ben.
Bye Barry.
Bye mate.
Bye Mike.
[FIRE CRACKLING]
Agh.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
[MUSIC LYRICS - SINGING] Wishes come true the same time every
year.
When every light twinkles and you're filled with cheer.
Since long, long ago we've been hoping for snow as we
cuddle the whole night through.
Songs will be sung and we'll join with loved ones
to celebrate the new.
From the night when dreams come true.
Good night.
[MUSIC LYRICS - SINGING] At Christmas time--
Night mate.
[MUSIC LYRICS - SINGING] When dreams come true.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
[CHIMING]
Three heads hit the pillow and dreaming ensued of Christmas
and presents and friends and the food.
Snuggled up warm, so cozy and tight, blissfully unaware
of who'd visit that night.
Oo, oo, oo.
Oo, oo, oo, oo, oo.
Barry, Jamie, Mike, wake up.
Wake up.
Oo.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
Hm.
You think we're going to have to ah--
Mm-hm.
Oo, oo, oo.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
Oo, oo, oo.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
We are the ghosts of Christmas Past.
And we are here to show you the errors of your ways.
We are also almost certainly right here in this room
with you.
You guys are pretty mean to Ben.
He's supposed to be your friend.
Yes, we're here to remind you just how
bad you've treated him hoping that it
will prompt you to change.
Behold.
[FUNKY MUSIC]
Oh, my God.
What the hell?
Mike, we're rowing now.
Stroke.
[CHIME]
Shut up and he got it wrong.
Come on, just coming and the banks keeps calling this wall
out, Muriel's.
And that's an old lady.
These are murals.
There was a young man named Ben who was forced
to do this by his friends.
Ben, look at all these vegetables
and think of all the places you can put them.
Shut up.
Oh, chef's jacket.
I need to wear my chef's jacket.
I like Ben.
He's the kind of boy you'd want your daughter to marry.
Because you know that they'd never have sex.
My name is Evers.
[CROWD SINGING]
What is that about?
Ben.
[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
Do you see?
Look, Ben's a creature of habit.
He likes to know what's he's going to get.
Yeah, if we were nice to him now,
his head would literally explode.
Yeah.
Fine, whatever.
We're only rooting for the Google Doc you sent.
It's you now, Link.
Oh, right.
Heed our warning.
The feet of SORTEDfood is at stake.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Our time here grows short.
Expect more visitors as the clock strikes the hour.
Good bye and good luck.
Also, subscribe to the Good Mythical Morning YouTube
channel, youtube.com/goodmythicalmorning.
Rhett and Link are awesome.
Oo, oo, oo.
[CHIMING MUSIC]
The three we're perplexed.
It was just--
Harmless banter.
And returned to their dreams until the club
brought their next encounter.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
At once where they woken.
And before our three males, stood a spirit so,
frightful so repulsive, so pale.
Brilliant.
Get up.
We're going.
You haven't even told us who you are.
I'm the ghost of Christmas Present.
And I'm the guy who's never going to get another job.
So hurry up.
[SOFT MUSIC]
What-- what is wrong with you?
This is how I sleep.
It's one of the best Christmas songs ever.
[SOFT MUSIC]
All right, let's go.
Where are we going?
To Ben's house for Christmas day.
(SINGING) It's another miserable Christmas.
[MUSIC - LINK, "WHITE CHRISTMAS"] Ba dee dum,
ba da dup.
Ba dee dum, ba dup, ba ba dup.
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
Just like the ones I used to know.
Where those tree tops glisten and children listen.
[SCREAM] To hear sleigh bells in the snow.
The snow.
[PIANO MUSIC]
Behold.
And alone there sat Ben in his Christmas best replying
to comments and beating himself at chess.
[LIGHT BUZZING]
The three looked at each other and shed one single tear.
No one should be dressed like that at this time of year.
My work here is done.
Thank God.
[MUSIC LYRICS - SINGING] Traveler's journey from so far
away.
Checkmate.
[CHIMING MUSIC]
Oo, oo, oo.
[CHIMING MUSIC]
Oo.
Whoa.
We are the ghosts of Christmas Yet To Come.
If you don't know, now, you know your life is different now.
We don't have to tell you twice, guys.
Y'all lift up.
Uh-oh.
Poor Ben.
Poor dear, sweet, little Benny boy.
So we're here to show you what the future holds for SORTEDfood
if you don't change your ways.
Oh, now get up.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Oh, no, no, no, wow.
It's how he sleeps.
My eyes are literally made of scrap felt from Taiwan.
And yet they are still burning.
How do you like my new pigtails.
A researcher needs firing.
Great voice.
Let's get out of here.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Behold.
Welcome to Three Guys, No Chef.
Today we are ma-- what are we making?
Um, a Ramon noodle instant mushroom--
This is the fusion food you never knew you needed.
Step one, get your instant noodle sachet
and get that on your bread.
Next.
You spread your chocolate spread.
Right.
Step three.
No, you forgot the noodles, you bellend.
Next.
This is horrible.
It just haven't been the same since that chef
with the Lego hair lift.
What flavor is this, mate?
Savory.
And then.
Look at that.
Finishing touch, last bit of flavor.
And that is a chicken and mushroom instant noodle
and chocolate spread sandwich.
SORTED.
Cheers.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
The show was disastrous, the future looked bleak.
They should have been kinder to their super geek.
Spirit, assure us that we can change these shadows
by living an altered life.
Please.
Wait finishing touch.
Where is your underwear?
This is how I cook.
Let's get outta here.
Agreed.
This environment is suboptimal.
Remember dudes, change your ways and also preorder
Mamrie Hart's book, I've Got This Round:
More Tales of Debauchery.
And also by Grace Helbig's new jewelry collection.
And subscribe to both of their YouTube channels,
youtube.com/gracehelbig.
And youtube.com/youdeserveadrink.
We are ghosts who plug out shit.
Oo, pigtails.
We'll haunt you if you don't buy it.
Bye.
[SHIMMERING AIR NOISE]
[AIR PRESSURE BUILDING]
Did-- did you just fall?
The three, oh, so weary, fell asleep right away.
And night turned to dawn bringing forth Christmas day.
[CHIMING MUSIC]
Ben.
They cried.
We must make amends.
So wrapped presents, cooked dinner, and head to Ben's.
Here fellas.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
[KNOCKING]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Merry Christmas.
They bought Christmas dinner with all of the trimmings
and promised their friend, this is just the beginning.
[CHIMING MUSIC]
Despite the good deeds, Ben felt slight confusion.
What started a seed quickly grew to intrusion.
Confusion concealed him.
Too much to withstand.
And cause poor old Ben to explode with a--
[SPLATS]
[FUNKY MUSIC]
Welcome to Three Guys, No Chef.
[FUNKY MUSIC]
Oops, didn't see that coming.
You want to talk about it?
Ben?
No?
I think we should give Ben some space, guys.
As every Christmas tale has a moral at the end,
treat everyone with kindness, unless of course they're Ben.
Happy Christmas, boys.
And all of your subscribers who should really have
a little look at my channel.
Just press the button and subscribe.
[MUSIC LYRICS - SINGING] But I got the dream that's making
maybe.
It's you, me, and mistletoe.
I'll dream about Christmas tree.
Lit up with a gift for me.
With this I assume--