There's no holiday quite like the Purge and that's a good thing.
But what if it were real, this one night out of the year in which all crime, including
murder, was legal?
Would you hide, or would you seek?
The Purge scratches the same itch as a zombie movie, imagining a lawless world where it's
kill or be killed.
If the Purge really did pop off, would you be prepared?
Over four stories of survival and anarchy, we've noticed some strategies that would help
you survive, along with a few tactics to avoid at all costs.
Grab your notebook and pay attention to the do's and don'ts of Purge night.
Do: Prior preparation
Ask any manager type about the five Ps, and they'll tell you: "Proper planning prevents
poor performance."
It's a principle that can be applied to everything from food service to the front lines.
So if the sirens go off and you haven't yet built up a stockpile of useful goods, then
you deserve whatever's coming to you.
Frank Grillo's character Leo Barnes demonstrates the preparation principle perfectly.
There's also The First Purge's Dmitri, who prepared for purging by getting his hands
on every gun that's ever washed up on Staten Island.
So follow their examples.
You should also probably learn some martial arts.
Don't: Cultivate grudges
Purge or no Purge, the key to not being killed by your neighbors is to not give your neighbors
a reason.
This can be accomplished by just being a considerate person, and not giving people any cause to
think about your name when the ol' "murder is legal" holiday comes around.
Otherwise, you could end up like the Sandin family, ringed in by resentful neighbors,
with targets on your back.
Probably should've participated in the neighborhood rummage sale, guys!
Do: The buddy system
Braving the Purge alone could be a one-way ticket to the morgue.
You never know when a marauding team of dirt bikers, paramilitary goons, or the K might
be lurking.
If you wanna survive, you need friends.
The Purge: Anarchy is all about the value of friendship in the trenches, with Sergeant
Barnes going from a vengeance-driven lone wolf to a righteous defender of the weak.
In turn, the people he protects have his back, and ultimately save his soul.
The only person who makes the one-man-army route work for him is The First Purge's Dmitri,
who goes full Rambo on a towerful of armed invaders.
But that only ends up being the case after his entire team is assassinated via drone
strike, and not even he gets the job done all by himself.
Don't: Get cocky
Across all of the Purge movies, it's shocking how many participants serve themselves up
as easy targets, twirling in the streets and basically asking for a bullet.
Don't let this be you!
Instead, up your chances of survival by staying humble and praying for dawn.
Don't get caught up in acts of pretentious ritual murder, which backfire far too frequently.
And don't be out in the road in a tank top and a bunny mask, flexing and taunting people.
That's how you get a crossbow bolt to the chest from the real heroes.
Murder's legal for everyone, remember?
Do: Armor up
Even mall cops wear bulletproof vests when they go to work, so why do so many Purgers
dress like they're going to a warehouse rave instead of an unhinged massacre?
Purgers put all their focus on the mask, when they should really be hitting the streets
dressed like Robocop.
They don't even wear helmets!
In that way, purging is like riding a bicycle.
Are you trying to look cool, or do you want to get home alive?
Don't: be obsessive
After going through each Purge movie with a team of experts, we've determined that Purge
night is actually not a great time to settle scores.
Countless people die on some lonely hills over the course of the films, just because
they couldn't let things go, from the candy-obsessed girl in Election Year to the first movie's
squad of prep school creeps who couldn't let one guy get away.
Sure, you've been waiting all year to let the beast out, and yes, your landlord probably
deserves it.
But if they get away the first time, you've got to chill.
Relax there's always next year.
Do: Leave the country
Sometimes the only way to win is not to play.
So if you've got the means and motive, take the opportunity, and get out of the country
on Purge night.
Spend the night offshore in international waters, or just move and say goodbye to the
US of A. You'll be home eventually how long can this tradition really last?
Don't: Go Outside
The plots of Purge movies don't kick in until the outside world intrudes.
If you want to avoid that, then stay in and plan ahead to avoid the need for a beer, pizza,
or ammo run.
There's a reason why none of these movies have focused too much on what goes down inside
most people's' homes during Purge night, and that's because for most people, the Purge
is a downright cozy experience.
It's people in fuzzy socks with AR-15s, eating snacks and clearing out the DVR.
For the most part, regular people don't really go after each other during the Purge.
It's live and let live.
With four movies of documentary evidence to go on, it's clear the Purge is for crazy people,
so let the crazy people have it.
You don't have to go out there.
Just stay inside and watch TV.