- Sex, sex, sex.
It's all about sex and money these days.
But maybe, just maybe,
there is something that he wants more than sex.
(gentle music)
Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite.
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
For the awesome high women secrets,
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And just before I share with you the top secret;
what is it that men want more than sex,
don't forget to take my free self awareness test
to find out are you a woman of high value or low value,
which I will drop down in the video description box below.
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So, let's start with the top secret.
It is the goal, it is the chase
that men appreciate more than sex.
Now, you might be thinking that I'm bonkers, but I'm not.
And let me break it down for you, ladies,
with the proof that I am correct here.
So, it's the goal, it's the thrill, it's the chase.
Why?
Because, let's face it, nowadays,
especially if you live, again,
in a big city like London, New York, or Berlin, Paris,
I'm naming just a few, right?
Sex is really, really available for men here.
It is very, very easy to get.
If you, as a man, you just want to sleep with a woman,
there are plenty of options
and you don't even need to make the effort for it.
However, even though there are plenty of options
for a man to have sex,
what happens is he gets intrigued by girl
that he needs to pursue and chase,
the one that's a challenge, respects and values herself
and doesn't give sex easily, doesn't put herself on a plate.
Why is that? Because men have testosterone.
So, they enjoy the thrill, they enjoy the chase.
Men love achieving their goals,
they're very, very competitive.
And the harder you work towards the goal
the more you appreciate it.
I'm going to give you a recent example
that I heard from a guy.
So, let's call him a friend.
I have a friend that has been sharing
his dating stories with me quite regularly.
And he was seeing this girl that he really, really fancied.
He was so into her, but the girl wasn't giving it to him,
and it took him over six months to get her.
When they finally slept together, he was over the moon.
What is really interesting,
even though he was over the moon,
he was so happy to achieve his goal,
at the same time, he was really curious
how she feels about him.
Because through seeing her over those six months,
through pursuing her over those six months,
he actually ended up bonding and connecting to her a lot.
So when being dead ended up having sex,
he actually got really insecure
that she's going to be the one dumping him.
My point is, ladies, the longer is the thrill,
the longer you're going to be a challenge,
the harder he works, more he will care for you,
and the more he will appreciate him achieving his goal.
Number two, what guys want more than sex is your heart.
Usually this happens when he already has connected to you
and there is some kind of relationship formed.
So if you just, for example, had a hookup with him,
like a one night stand and you're like,
okay, he had my body but he didn't have my heart,
hm, most likely he's just really happy
that he got to have a cookie and he'll forget about you.
Sometimes, if you're still not all over him,
you're not chasing or pursuing him,
some guys who will get interested
and will still start to pursue you
even though he just had sex with you.
'Cause he might get intrigued,
how can you do it just like that
without getting emotionally attached to him?
So, some guys still do fall for this type of stuff.
However, majority of guys don't.
Once they sleep with you,
they just kind of drop you and move on to the next one.
Let me share with you a story.
So, this is another guy that I know.
A couple of years back,
he called me and he shared his relationship story.
So he was dating a girl that was a single mom with two kids.
And he has really, really fallen for her.
And he was giving her everything.
And the guy is a catch, right?
He really fell for her, she was a single mom with two kids.
I think either she broke up with him
or he broke up with her,
but I know that he was like really upset over it
and crying to me on a phone, right.
And he was still staying how much he loves her
and how she broke his heart.
He was really putting her on a pedestal.
And the guy, as I said, he's a catch.
He's a lawyer, he's very successful,
he looks good, all of that, you know?
Like that single bachelor type of guy.
And couple of days later he called me again,
and I said, "Oh, so how is it going with your ex?
Did you guys made up or what's happening?"
And he said to me, "Oh, Greta, I don't want her anymore.
It's over, it's gone."
His confidence and arrogance
was bursting through his chest, right.
And I'm like, "Oh, really?"
He said, "Yeah, she called me yesterday.
She was crying how much she wants me back,
and she has feelings for me on all of that.
But, Greta, I thought about everything
and I don't want her anymore."
Now, let me break it down for you ladies.
The reason this guy was hooked on that girl
was because he could not have her heart.
Even though he is very successful,
he's a lawyer, he look so good,
all of that, you know, kind of thing.
The lady was single mom, older and so on.
Through their whole dating or relationship,
she did not wear her heart on her sleeve
and ended up basically showing him that no,
I don't want you.
This is what made him obsess over her.
And when they broke up and the girl went after him
wearing her heart on her sleeve
and he ended up realizing
that she has very strong feelings for him
and that she doesn't want to break up with him,
it made him lose interest in her like that.
When a man feels that he's got your heart 150%
and you're running after him and behaving desperate,
asking him back, crying, pleading, and so on,
that is a massive, massive turn off.
Anyway, my point is, if he had sex with you
but he didn't have your heart,
the goal of will still be there.
Number three, ladies, keep it real with him.
When girls have sex with guys,
usually we start to chase, we start to pursue,
we get emotionally attached,
we start telling to a guy how much we like him,
how much we adore him.
They start to give their heart and soul to him,
all the attention, all affection,
we start to put him on a pedestal and worship him.
Ladies, this is how you lose a guy straight away.
After you had sex with him, keep it real with him.
Stay exactly how you were having him before sex, right?
Yes, be nice and be polite, but be yourself.
Be real with him.
If you didn't pursue him before sex,
don't pursue him after sex.
If you didn't wear your heart on the sleeve before sex,
don't do it after sex.
If you were a challenge before sex,
be a challenge after sex.
Stay exactly how you were before it and after it.
If he's pursuing you and being much more cuddly
and warm and loving after the act, that is great.
Be receptive, respond, that's fantastic.
If you looked at the sex just as an act, mirror him.
Number four.
Ladies, if you think about it,
this is why having sex after marriage really, really works.
Because you're such a challenge for him before marriage.
And you know, there is that ultimate goal
and then you get married and then you have sex after.
Even if you do get emotionally attached
and you're feeling more need you or loving towards that,
that's okay because this is your husband.
And at the same time, as a woman,
because you're feeling now safe and secure
because you're already, you know, married to him,
you got to keep it real with him.
You're not going to be scared to lose him
by standing your ground and wasting your opinion
because he is your husband.
Plus, this is what happens, guys;
when you're casual with a guy and you have sex with him,
a lot of us women, we get scared to set in boundaries.
We get scared to stand our ground
because we get scared to lose him for thinking that,
okay, I'm so attached to him, I'm crazy about him,
I'm scared to tell him no,
so I'm just going to keep saying yes.
And that's how men start to take advantage of you,
walk all over you and get totally bored with you.
Because he feels like he can control you,
he feels like he can play you like a little muppet.
But if you actually do end up having sex after marriage,
you're gonna stand your ground,
you're gonna set in some boundaries.
You're not gonna be scared to do these things
because you already feel safe as you're already married.
What I'm saying is, to the girls who are actually waiting
till marriage to have sex,
I personally think you're as high value as it gets.
Number five, how do you get the balance right
between being too nice or too cold?
Well, the answer is do the right thing.
The problem with putting yourself first,
over time, you can become really selfish.
And yes, he might treat you as a queen
or put you on a pedestal for some amount of time.
Yet, if he is wise, if he is smart, if he's intelligent,
if he has life experience,
watching you constantly putting yourself first,
he will start to see you as very selfish and immature.
And later, if you have an argument
or let's say you have a weak moment in life,
he'll start to hold it against you.
So, what I would recommend, ladies,
is instead of putting yourself first, do the right thing.
When you're dating a guy,
when you're in a relationship with him
or you're married with him, try and do what is fair.
What's fair for him, what's fair for others,
what's fair for you.
It's much harder to do the right thing,
but when you do the right thing, when you do what is fair,
this is when you can really stand your ground
without feeling selfish, arrogant, or guilty.
Because you will know that you're standing your ground
for the right things and no one can argue with that.
So, ladies, here you have it.
You know the secret, what men want more than sex,
and how to keep it real after it.
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Let me know in the comments below, what did you think?
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Thank you so much for watching, my queens,
kisses from Dorset. (smooches)