- Hey, playa.
Do you have a crush on someone that you want to ask out,
but there's one little problem?
Someone else likes them too.
What should you do?
Do you just give up?
Or do you keep pursuing them?
I'll share my thoughts on how to navigate this situation
right after this.
(upbeat music)
When someone else likes your crush,
it may seem like the easy thing to do is to just give up
and let it go.
But, I wouldn't sell yourself short like that.
You might look at a situation like that and think you're
in competition with the other person.
But, in reality, you're in competition with yourself.
Look, the fact of the matter is your crush can't decide
between you and the other person if you're not willing
to first put yourself out there for them to get to know you.
If you see that you're comparing your qualities to that
of another person, then you're making the fatal mistake
of assuming you know exactly what your crush is looking for.
And that that person is that.
In reality, we're all capable of liking someone
outside of our perceived idea of what we want in a partner.
But, if you're never willing to put yourself out there,
you won't even have a chance.
Another thing we tend to do, is assume the worst.
We think that just because someone already likes our crush
and already talking to them that that's it,
they're off limits now.
The truth is, if your crush has a bunch of guys and girls
that flirt with them and constantly ask them out,
it doesn't mean anything in regards to where you
and your crush stand.
And if you really think about it,
if your crush is flirting with these people nonstop
and they're not going out with them,
then chances are they have no intention of going out
with them and all your crush is the attention
that these people bring.
Unless you know for fact that your crush has
a boyfriend or girlfriend, either you see them together
or someone directly told you,
that should be the only instant where you decide to
let it go and move on from them.
But, if all it is is that your crush currently likes someone
else, then I think you have the green light to go.
Start talking to them.
Ask them out and see if you can develop
your own relationship with them.
No one is bound to liking only one person at a time.
Just like I'm sure you might have multiple crushes,
your crush can also like multiple people
and from there, they just decide who they like the most.
That's why persistence is going to be the key here
in order to succeed.
If you can confidently pursue your crush and show them
that you're willing to work towards being with them,
that's going to put you miles ahead of anyone else
that just likes them.
And the best way I've learned to be persistent
is to never hide your truth,
to always be open and honest about how you feel
and what you want out of the equation.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
That does not mean going and confessing your feelings
to your crush.
Instead of telling how you feel, I want you to show
them how you feel.
If you're hoping that just because you like your crush,
that if you start talking to them,
they'll magically like you back and instantly want to get
to know you better,
then all you're doing is flipping a coin and hoping
it lands on what you want.
You have to be willing to show your crush that there's more
to you than what they see.
Teach them about your hobbies and your interests
and be willing to learn about theirs,
so that you can see if you two really are a good fit.
Another thing to remember is that it can be really easy
to slip into a state of jealousy if you start to see
your crush's attention moving toward someone else.
If you feel like your crush wants to spend more time
with someone else,
laughs at more of their jokes,
or just likes being around them instead of you,
it might lead you to overcompensate and try to win
over their attention.
If you see that your crush is talking to someone else more,
laughing at more of their jokes,
or just generally wants to spend more time around them,
it can lead you to overcompensate and try too hard
to win them over.
You might end up feeling angry, aggressive, or even sad
because someone else is where you want to be.
And while it's okay to feel the way you do,
what matters is what you do with those feelings.
One thing I highly recommend is to avoid fighting
with someone else that likes your crush.
Jealousy and insecurity can make you do a lot
of crazy things.
But, fighting with someone else just because you both
carry feelings for someone is not the way to go.
Remember, trying to destroy someone else won't make
your crush instantly like you more.
So, the best way to do that
is to put your best self forward.
Try not to sweat the other person too much.
If you're standing there with your crush
and your potential rival,
keep your focus on your crush.
Remember, your job there is to build
the connection with them, not the other person.
That's the best thing you can do to not get caught
in an ego battle with someone else.
Trust me, I've seen it before.
Two guys like the same girl.
And of course, they spend more time competing with
each other than actually trying to talk to their crush.
And look, you two might be fighting for the same thing.
But, remember...
They're a person just like you are
and they have feelings for your crush just like you do.
What do you think, though?
Have you ever felt like someone was standing in the way
of you being with your crush?
Leave your comments below and we'll talk about it.
Trust me, there's a lot of different ways whose trying
to compete with you over the same crush.
They may resort to name calling, belittling,
or even just trying to act like even more
of an alpha male than you.
But, the most alpha thing you can do
is to remember who you are,
what you stand for,
and what you want in this equation.
And in that case, it's to build a strong connection
with your crush.
If you can succeed in doing that, then this other person
instantly becomes a non factor.
As always guys, love and peace.