-It's like, "What was this guy doing last week?"
I'm like, "I don't [bleep] know.
There was a different host last week."
-It definitely, like, reveals
how absolutely simple-minded I am,
'cause I'm like, "You want me to stand where?
Be loud? You got it."
[ Laughter ]
-Boom! Cash the check!
-And, hey, it's working out.
-It's working out. Eight seasons!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
I want to congratulate you. You got engaged.
-I did. -Congratulations.
-Whoa.
-To one of our former writers.
-Yes. -Conner O'Malley,
one of my favorite people. -That's right.
-And how did it go down? How did Conner propose?
-Well, we've been together a long time.
We've been together almost nine years.
And so we, you know --
A lot of the the shimmer and shine has faded,
and we're just living every damn day
as best we can.
And we've seen each other through a lot, you know?
Like, he used to work as a full-blown garbage man and --
Not a joke, just a garbage man.
And --
And I used to sweep up hair in a barbershop.
I mean, we've, like, been through it.
-Yeah. -And --
And so, yeah, so one night, I, like, came home
from pitch at SNL. -Yeah, Monday SNL pitch.
-Have you ever heard of it?
But, so, yeah, I pitched to Lin-Manuel Miranda.
And then when I got home, I had, like, my purse
and our mail and all these boxes.
And I walked in the door,
and our dog had a bow tie on.
And I was like, "My dog doesn't wear a bow tie.
Where is he going tonight?"
[ Laughter ]
And then basically the second I shut the door,
a man who I discovered was Conner
frantically came around the corner
and was just like, "Will you marry me?"
And no box.
No, "I love you."
No fance.
Just a man in full terror
standing very far from a dog in a bow tie,
just holding a loose ring
going, "Will you marry me?"
And I was like, "What?"
I truly couldn't comprehend what was happening.
And I just kept saying, "Is this a joke?
Are you doing a joke?" And -- And then I said,
like, "Of course I'll marry you. I love you."
And it was really nice.
-That's great.
-Yeah, it was nice.
-For those who don't know,
one of the greatest nights of the year
for an SNL staff member... -Oh, yes.
-...is what's called the Writers' Party.
It's the last Thursday of the season.
-Yeah. -And the writers and the cast
go out, and there's no guests.
-Yes. -And it's just a full-on boozer.
-And it is, I would say, like, you take all the anxiety
and, like, stress and -- and power from the season,
and you pour it into one night of drinking alcohol.
-Yeah.
-And, I mean, this most recent one that we've had
at the end of last season,
I would say it almost destroyed me as a human woman.
Like -- -Because you drank too much?
-I drank so much that I blacked out.
-Okay. -Okay?
Yes! I know!
And, I mean, I didn't even know how I got home.
I had to, like, drunk-detective piece everything together
the next morning. So I put together that I --
-Where did you wake up? -I woke up
in the hallway of my building
on the floor, which is very humbling.
-Yeah. -You know?
I may look like a painted lady right now,
but I also sometimes sleep on the hallway floor.
And so, yeah, like, I woke up on the --
And the only reason I woke up
was because I was hit by a newspaper
that was being delivered to my neighbor's door.
So, like, a woman came out of the elevator
and just threw a newspaper down,
and I was like, "Wha!"
And so I woke up, and then I had -- I couldn't find a key.
So I went down to my doorman, got a key, went to my apartment,
and then I realized, like, "Oh, I don't have a purse.
I don't have my phone or wallet or anything."
So then I went to work like immediately,
just an ill woman.
I puked a little at work,
at "Saturday Night Live!"
And -- Very humiliating, you know?
-Yeah. -But then like two days later,
basically a doorman was like,
"Does this purse belong to you?"
Because I had left it on some random floor.
I guess when I got home,
I just pushed any button in the elevator,
went up there, and then just was like,
"I'll sleep in this hallway."
And then when I was awoken by the paper,
I just left my belongings there
and was like, "Okay, I know where to go.
Doorman, get me inside," you know, like,
full drunk monster.
-We have a photo of you from this party.
And I got to be honest. I think you look fine.
-Yes. -Look at you
right there in the middle. -Please.
Truly, truly very sad.
-That -- That --
That looks like a photo Keith Morrison shows on "Dateline,"
like, "And that was the last we ever saw --"
-[ Laughing ] I know. I know.
The deadness in my eyes and the Irish on my face
is so full throttle.
It's very rough.
-Meghan McCain was on the show.
You did a Meghan McCain impression this year,
and she was here,
and she was talking about how she enjoyed that.
And you guys have a crazy connection.
-Yeah, it's really -- We're both Arizona women.
That is true. And we weirdly --
We also went to the same high school.
-Yeah. -And so I watched her
on your show. And in it, she's like,
"Yeah, you know, Aidy and I went to the same high school."
And she, like, shouts out our high school,
and is like, "Whoo-whoo! Yeah, Xavier College Prep!"
And I definitely was like,
"Oh, man, we had different experiences of high school."
[ Laughter ]
Like, I was like, "For her, it was a 'whoop, whoop!'"
[ Laughter ]
And for me it was the darkest opposite.
[ Laughter ]
And I really was like, "Oh, okay, okay."
Like, I'll tell you, I recently found a self-portrait
that I drew in class of myself in high school.
I think you have it. -Yeah.
-But just to warn you before you show it, it's incredibly scary.
[ Laughter ] Okay?
But I think it's fun to know that, like, Meghan McCain
in her mind, high school is "Whoop, whoop!"
And for me it's this, which is...
[ Laughter ]
This is -- Okay. [ Cheers and applause ]
And I think something that I love about -- It's very subtle.
-Yeah, yeah. [ Laughter ]
-And that's -- My school had a uniform.
So I'm wearing the uniform, and I'm behind bars.
And then I assume that's sort of blood on the walls?
Or sort of red paint.
-They were like,
"Aidy, we got your submission for the yearbook cover."
[ Laughter ]
"And we are going to go another way."
-And that is fair.
I have to say it was like 2005.
It was kind of cool to be emo, and I was living that very hard.
[ Laughter ]
Dipping my toe into goth.
The song is called
"[Bleep] It, Suck It, Night We Gonna Buck It."
[ Laughter ]
And it's about me. -It's so beautiful.
It's a way more beautiful song
than the title leads one to believe.
-Yeah, yeah, it's gorgeous. -No, it's so good.
-Y'all should play it. [ Laughter ]
-Baby, they wish they could play it like you.
Y'all wish you could play it like he could.
8G Band? Get real.
-Okay. I'm gonna ask you not to be aggressive with the band.
-[Bleep] you. -[Bleep] you, Seth.
-I gave you this time!
I gave -- What are you doing?! [ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
'Cause I am really...
What are you -- Who are you angry with?
-I'm really pissed off in general!
-Babe, don't! Don't!
Don't do this! Not in front of my friends!
[ Laughter ]
I'm going crazy, Seth.
-It's okay.
-[ Crying ] I feel sick. -[ Laughs ]
-Will someone get her something?!
-What do you want?!
-I need, like, a cake or something!
-We can't get you a cake.
-I bet you could. -Do you want a water?
What? -You're one of the richest guys.
[ Laughter ] -That's what we love about you.
-Alright, enough.
Alright, you guys make up.
You grew up in Arizona. -Yes.
-Did you always know you wanted to be a performer?
-I mean, pretty much. I was, like,
always forcing my parents to, like,
put me in theater camps and stuff.
And I joined, like, a teen improv troupe,
but I was 17, and everyone else was 12.
[ Laughter ]
So, like, of course I was the best one,
'cause I had, like, a high school education.
[ Laughter ]
So it was like, I got super cocky there,
'cause I was like, "Wow, I'm running circles
around these fifth graders," or whatever they were.
And it was so sad, 'cause, like,
we would have, like, fundraiser events,
and all the moms would be like, "Aidy,
can you pick up all the kids
and drive them to the fundraiser?"
I was like, "I guess."
I'm an adult hanging with these children.
And a lot of the laughs that I got
was me, like, calling them out for being bad,
which is, like, such a bad thing to do.
But they would be like, "Hey, I'm a chicken,"
or some, like, dumb thing.
And then I would look at the audience and be like,
"Fuh-h-h [Bleep] this."
[ Laughter ]
Oh, this isn't live, right?
[ Laughter ]
-Although --
Although I'm guessing it was inappropriate
when you were doing an improv show with 12-year-olds
to say, "Uh-h-h [Bleep] this."
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God.
-But in real life, what was it like when you introduced Conner
to your family? -Yeah, it was -- it was --
It was perfect. Of course. -Yeah.
-No, it was -- It was bad. [ Laughter ]
Only in that at the time,
Conner had this car, which for me, was very fancy.
-This is Chicago, yes. -In Chicago, yeah.
And this car, I think it cost under $300.
-Right. Hard to get a car for under $300.
-That's what you think. [ Laughter ]
And so my mom came to town. And we were going to dinner.
And I was like, "Actually,
my boyfriend's going to pick us up."
And the car didn't have a muffler,
which means that it sounds like a rocket ship going to the moon.
Just a full, like, "Aaaaarnh!" the whole way there.
And then the car also didn't run when it rained.
-Okay. -So, you know,
classic car stuff.
-This one's not a rainer. -Yeah.
-"I'm going to get you in this car for $299.
But you don't want to take it out when it's wet."
-Also, it's like, probably shouldn't be
riding in the vehicle that can't be a little wet.
-Yeah.
-But basically, then after dinner, it started to rain.
But we were already in the car.
And so we were like, "We got to just try and make it here."
But it started to rain so hard
that we couldn't see out the windows.
And the windshield wipers didn't work.
So, I was in the front seat, and he was in the driver's seat.
And we both were holding the windshield wipers
trying to just, like, get to the end.
And my mom was in the back.
And I was like, "He's nice, right?"
We started doing this thing called the Garbage Party,
which is, like, kind of a low-pressure potluck.
[ Laughter ] Where it's like,
bring a bag of chips, bring 30 McDonald's fries, party hats.
One time, someone brought jello shots and a dog.
You know, like --
-A garbage party. -Yeah, garbage party.
-Where is the garbage party held?
-In the writers room. -In the writers room.
-On Wednesday after table. -That's great.
-And it's so fun, and we didn't get to do it in 2020,
and so it was, like, "Okay. This year we're gonna do ano--
Garbage Party is back, baby."
I was sending e-mails being like,
"This is the biggest one yet. Everybody get ready to rock."
So cocky. I went hard, okay?
Of course, Monday, nobody talking about omicron.
Tuesday, hmm, hearing about it. [ Laughter ]
Wednesday, babe, your party's cancelled, okay?
And so I had to send out an e-mail saying
the Garbage Party's back in the grave.
-Right. -No party.
But I had ordered 30 massive smiley-face balloons...
[ Laughter ]
...from a place called the Balloon Saloon downtown.
-Right, yeah. -And I realized, I was like,
"Oh, my God. Well, I can't have
the 30 smiley-face balloons delivered to the office
when everyone is afraid of a disease that's in the air."
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-So I was like, "I guess deliver them to my apartment."
-Uh-huh. -So nothing's sadder
than coming home after a long day of work
where everybody's afraid of a virus
to an apartment filled with smiling balloons.
-I think it's even sadder than you described.
[ Laughter ]
I also think --
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Kinda cool.
-Like, the balloon travel bag
makes it look like they're in quarantine.
-Devastating. [ Laughter ]
And I think it's worth knowing,
like, I just got them out yesterday.
-Yeah. -So they were in my apartment
for a month. -Wow.
Well, now that's actually a pretty good advertisement
for the Balloon Saloon. -[ Laughs ]
I know! -Yeah, I mean, that's like
30 days of helium.
-Well, there were some that looked a little rough.
They were kind of smiling like...
[ Laughter ] You know?
Or, like, I've had multiple times --
Like, once, I was playing a chicken
who was in love with Ryan Gosling.
And, like, at multiple points, he was like,
"He really loves her, and he wants to be with her."
-Yeah. -"But he can't,
because she's a chicken, and he's on the run."
And I was like, "Oh, you're, like, thinking about this."
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-And I, like, literally --
Like, to me, it was just like, "Bawk bawk bawk!"
[ Laughter ]
I was like, "I've never thought twice
about a single thing I've done." -Oh. Well, people --
There would be times where someone say, like,
"Hey, the host has some questions about this character,"
and I'd be like, "Oh, all I know is
where they stand and what they say."
[ Laughter ] -Yes.
-"Like, I put no thought into their past,
and I have no thoughts about their future."
-Past? -Yeah.
It's like, "What was this guy doing last week?"
I'm like, "I don't [bleep] know.
There was a different host last week."
-It definitely, like, reveals
how absolutely simple-minded I am,
'cause I'm like, "You want me to stand where?
Be loud? You got it."
[ Laughter ]
-Boom! Cash the check!
-And, hey, it's working out.
-It's working out. Eight seasons!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Now, I wanted to ask you -- -Yeah, you know what?
I don't -- I'm sorry to cut you off,
but I was thinking it could be fun if we took some
questions from the audience. -Oh, well, the problem is
we don't have an audience here because of COVID.
-Oh. Well, I don't know.
I'm definitely seeing some hands up out there.
Uh, yes, ma'am, do you have a question?
Yes. My question for the young woman is this.
Do you ever feel that your extraordinary ability
to play a wide range of characters
sometimes goes unnoticed?
Oh, wow, yeah, thank you.
Um, no, I would definitely love to show
more of what I can do as an actor.
Yeah, well, if I was a Hollywood director,
I would put you in so many different TV shows
and cinema films, because you seem like
you're a real joy to have on-set.
Yeah, I am. I'm easy to work with.
So thank you, yes.
-Did you pre-tape yourself
in the audience before the show?
-Seth, please. You had your chance.
You look like [bleep] in your casual little look, okay?
-No. What?
-One more thing.
You have real class.
You would make the Queen of England
look like a bra-less slob at an outdoor pork fest
in Oxycontinburg, Ohio.
I should know.
I'm from London and Paris.
Oh, wow. Well, that's so sweet.
Um, let's see. Who else has a question?
Oh, I don't have a question.
I just wanted to say I think you're sexy,
even sexier than me,
and I'm a pornography whore.
Aww, thank you.
-I just don't understand how you got the crew
to go along with this. -Seth, we couldn't refuse.
She gave us all $20 Toys"R"Us gift cards.
-Toys"R"Us went out of business.
-They might come back. -Alright.
-Uh, yes. You, sir?
Yeah, I gots a question for the dame.
Where do you get the right to be so sweet?
Wow, Seth, I love this crowd. -Yeah, I bet you do.
-Me, I could never make it in Hollywood,
'cause the neighborhood keeps pulling me back in.
Yes, it was Hell's Kitchen in the Bronx, New Jersey.
Mr. Cavacoli runs things around here,
and he had me doing hits at age 5 years old.
And at age 8, I burned down a meatball factory.
But I can't stop now, because I don't have love.
Wow, this is a well-performed monologue.
-That's you.
-Love is what I wish for.
I wish for it, too.
And I've never met a man with such grit.
Then marry me.
I will!
But kiss me first.
Oh, yeah.
Mwah!
[ Laughter ]
-Wow, that was --
That was actually really beautiful.
-I know. I really am really, really good.
-Oh, my gosh, you truly are.