*footsteps on ladder*
Marquee Marquis: OK...
Marquis: Charity?
*intro theme*
*laughter*
Marquis: Let's try and be inconspicuous, oui?
Agent Moose: No problem, eh?
Marquis: I received one of zese fake files zis morning.
I think ze saboteur is trying to trick me into breaking my...
"moral code".
Moose: Because you don't kill charitable priests?
Marquis: What? No. Because I don't kill men.
Moose: Wait... You don't kill men?
Marquis: Only women...
... and children.
Moose: That's a niche market...
Marquis: Zey call me the Baby Cap of assassins.
Moose: So if you don't kill men, that means you definitely couldn't have plotted to kill Agent Jack.
Marquis: Oui, I told you. I haven't killed in ten years...
not counting ze hundreds of women and children.
Not since... Not since zat day...
I was walking with my father... when ze shot rang out.
*gunshot*
Young Marquis: No! Mon père! No!
Marquis: I couldn't do anything to save him.
To save ze man who taught me everything I know.
And zat's when I saw her...
Margaret.
The only other person out zere.
It was zen I vowed never to take a man's life again
and zat I would do anything to have my revenge.
Because only children could be zis evil
and children grow into women.
Moose: That logic doesn't make any sense.
Agent Knuckle: It sure makes sense to me!
Heck, I'll take the gig if you don't want it.
Lemme see here...
There don't seem to be any visible annotations here.
You always gotta check for annotations.
Hmm... Hang on a minute!
It says here the target's name is Kelly.
What kind of hoser names a boy "Kelly"?
Moose: Wait a second, Marquis.
Did you get duped into taking this assignment...
or did you just not read past the name Kelly?
Marquis: Yeah, I just sort of skimmed it, I guess...
Zis is, how you say... my bad.
Well, adieu.
Moose: Darn it. I really thought I had something.
Knuckle: I thought you did, too.
Now come on. Let's get some fucking poutine, eh?
Gavin the 3rd: You know...
It's always good to work on... international relations?
Madam Mariel: Sure, I guess.
But I thought you were supposed to stop having sex all the time.
Gavin: Well, when the doctor tells you you've got diabetes
you don't not eat three bowls of ice cream, right?
Hey, thanks for hopping in, guys.
La Luna Loco: No problemo.
So'Rolla: We're just happy we could help in the short time we're given.
Gavin: You mean just now or in life?
So'Rolla: I mean now...
or in life...
or if we die soon...
I mean, whatever. No one wants to die soon.
Luna: No one wants to die a novelty character who only gets to utter their cool catchphrase a few times
especially if it's extra cool, like...
"It's muertos time!"
Eh, but them's the roughs.
Gavin: I'm sorry, but I can't tell if you're predicting something really specific
or you're just waxing poetic.
Mariel: Either way, we've got to go.
Gavin: Ah, right. So'Rolla's quinceañera.
So'Rolla: Yeah! Who's going to be sirenas bonitas?
Luna: We are!
*cheering*
*beeping*
Agent Gibson: No, no, no, I've got it.
Burnardo Burnadicci: Oh, grazie.
Gibson: Remember to use lowercase, old man.
Burnardo: Hey, why you show me so much disrespect?
Why you call me old? I'm not old.
Gibson: Look at you. You're dressed like a godfather!
Well, like my godfather.
His name's Clayton. He's in the Rotary Club.
He's like ninety! You might know him? From the retirement home?
Burnardo: Well, lemme tell you something.
This godfather has a hundred and fifty confirmed kills.
Allegedly.
Gibson: Kills don't matter. I should know.
I get tons of them, and no one seems to notice me.
The only thing that matters? Oo la la! Sex appeal.
Something you wouldn't know about.
And you look ridiculous.
*teeth clack*
Burnardo: Hm... Nah...
*beeping returns*
Come on...
Christoph Weiss: Yoo hoo!
Someone dropped off a new mission for you. Ha ha?
Marquis: From who?
Christoph: I don't know. I don't remember.
I don't remember much of anything ever since that
day in the hospi-
Marquis: Zis is literally from today!
Christoph: OK, ja, you know, I just don't remember, OK?
Ja? So just get over it.
Marquis: What the hell?
Christoph: What is it?
It's one of those fakes, Ja?
Ja?
Marquis: I'm not sure. It's asking me to kill... mermaids.
Christoph: What? Mermaids...
Well, at least it's not mermen... right?
Marquis: Sure.
Christoph: Ja.
Marquis: Well, perhaps you're right. I shouldn't psyche myself out.
Christoph: No, no, no, no.
Relax. Relax! Nothing to worry abou-
Marquis: Thank you, Christoph.
Christoph: Ja, ok, buh bye.
Mermen... Heh heh... That's weird.
Boomerang Geoff: Looks like the world's gone mad.
*sigh*
Not since the time we accidentally mailed our Prime Minister to America
things've been so crazy.
*sigh*
You know, there's an old Aussie saying:
"When the fatty's a-cracking, the wallabies come a-napping."
I don't know what the hell that means, but I do know
sometimes the only way to survive... is to wait out the storm.
The Griffon: Alright.
Marquis: Who knew mermaids lived in parks?
*screaming*
Ah, a woman. Oh, thank God.
Wait a second...
Oh!
Oh God! Zey were mermen!
*choking*
Luna: It's... muertos time...
Marquis: Zey were mermen!
Sacrebleu!
*sobbing*
The Colonel: Did you know the Eleven Little Rooster has an interactive side?
Decipher the clues, guess who dies next, and uncover the assassin.
Play now for a chance to win by clicking on my... beautiful face.
Do it.
Now.
Come on.