There are people in our lives that make us feel safe, and loved, and respected.
And then, for some of us out there, there are people in our lives that are supposed
to make us safe, and loved and respected, but the don’t do their job.
My entire life I've had a wonderful father, who has made so many sacrifices for me, and
taking care of me so that I could have a better future.
Unfortunately, I can't say the same about my mother.
From a young age, I was always ridiculed, teased, and taunted by mom,
and whenever I did something wrong, I wasn’t properly sat down and disciplined, I was yelled at, and
smacked even sometimes.
I grew up with very low self esteem because my mom would say things like,
“you’re terrible, I don’t like you, I don’t love you at all, I think that you’re a big burden
to this family, what sin could I have possibly committed to have you as a kid”.
And she thought that all of these words would just brush over, and I would realize that
she someone didn't mean them.
But she said them so many times that I don’t think she doesn’t believe them. In fact
I’m quite sure that she means everything she says, and as a result, it has lowered
my self esteem and my self worth, and it has made me do things like cutting, and
inflicting self harm.
As a young adult, even now, I suffer with this. Of course I stopped inflicting self harm,
but I have struggled with my self worth so much, whenever I look into the mirror,
I can’t see a girl that I love and appreciate, I can’t see somebody that is strong and independent
I see someone that is weak and has been broken and shattered
by a negative influence all her life.
To those of you out there who are struggling because of some negative influence in your life,
whether it be your parents, or an ex best friend, or an ex boyfriend, or a bully, or anything,
please remember that you're not alone, that you don’t deserve to suffer this way and
nobody should be able to say that to you.
You are wonderful, compassionate human beings.
And, you have so much to offer this world.
Don’t let this negative influence take over your life anymore.