Translator: Joshua Beal Reviewer: Cihan Ekmekçi
Remember how much we all just loved pop quizzes in school?
We're going to start with one of those.
If you feel like you know the answer,
just fill in the blanks by shouting the words out loud.
We'll all do it together, here we go.
So, living a good life is simple.
It starts out around age five.
Grab the back pack, it's time to go to -
Audience: School.
At school, study hard to get good -
Audience: Grades.
So you can graduate high school and get into a good - (College)
So you can get a good - (Job)
Work hard so you can make good -
Audience: Money.
Meet the right person, fall in love and get -
Audience: Married.
Find a house and start a -
Audience: Family.
But don't forget to save your - (Money)
So you can eventually -
Audience: Retire.
And be -
Audience: Dead.
Not dead.
(Laughter)
Not dead.
The end of the story is happy.
Amazing job, A-pluses all around.
Give yourself a big round of applause.
(Applause)
So, now that we're all done with that,
I want everybody just to pause for a moment.
How did we all know the exact same answers?
How did I know that you'd give those answers?
Because I've told that story now
to tens of thousands of people across 14 different countries.
And despite all the different ages, backgrounds, different parts of the world,
nearly everybody always answers the exact same way.
And what exactly do you call
this thing we just recited from the top of our head anyway?
I call it the script
because it feels like a prescription we've been given
for how to live a good life.
It serves as our belief system around everything we're supposed to do
and our internal measuring stick.
It kind of gauges how well or not so well
we feel we're doing in life.
It's the thing that makes some of us feel like we're failing
if we don't get certain letters on a report card
or aren't married with kids by age 35
or the only way we can be successful
is if we're a lawyer or a doctor or a rapper or a pro athlete.
You see, aware of it or not,
we all have ingrained in us a script
that we're following every single day.
But the question is why, and where did this script come from?
And the big question,
How is it that all of us, as different individuals
with our own unique set of talents, gifts, goals,
are all expected to follow the exact same script?
You see, I've spent half of my life searching for answers to these questions.
And what I found may surprise you.
Let me go back in time to a moment
where I had no idea there was even such a thing as the script.
So, growing up I was kind of a scrawny kid.
But even then, I knew I wanted a lot out of life.
Call it success, happiness, meaning.
How many of you guys remember wanting to be successful, growing up?
I grew up in a good traditional household.
My mom, a school principal; my dad, a police officer.
Yeah, a cop and a principal as parents.
Not meant to be a joke, but I appreciate you laughing at my pain.
Thank you.
And they gave me the script we all just recited:
here it is, the prescription for life.
And who was I to argue?
So I followed it to a tee.
I was the outstanding sixth grader award in my elementary school.
I was the student body president at my high school,
graduated with a near-perfect GPA,
went to a highly academic university.
Got a pre-law degree, cum laude in a total of three years.
Yeah, you say wow, I say why.
(Laughter)
And all joking aside, it was actually that question, Why?
that began to shift everything for me.
I remembered the exact moment I was interning for a district attorney,
sacrificing my summer, filing giant manila folders
and feeling absolutely miserable.
But I figured, it's just a price I have to pay, right?
Then I looked around at the people in the office
that had the jobs that I was supposed to go to school to get,
and most of them seem miserable too.
So, there I was cramming my class schedule,
fighting for grades, building the resume to get to where they were.
It didn't make any sense.
And I had a friend stop me
and ask me a very simple question.
He said, "Blake, why are you doing all of this?"
And the only answer that I had
is "Isn't this what I'm supposed to do?"
I hated that.
You see, that was the moment where I first became aware
that all my life, I'd been following a script
without even realizing it
and without ever questioning if it was even the right script for me.
Sound familiar?
So, I began questioning everything.
I was like that kid that constantly asked, ''Why, Why, Why?''
I wanted answers.
Books, seminars, documentaries, you named it,
I read it or watched it.
I want to save you all of that time
and share with you three important things that I learned about the script.
First, there's always been a script.
Study civilizations across the world,
and you'll see that younger generations are always taught a life script
based on what the economy and society needed at that time.
No, we're not handed a piece of paper titled ''The Script'' on top,
but it gets communicated to us
through the people around us, our education and so on.
And ultimately, that script will determine
how most people will live their entire life.
It's always been that way, just nobody seems to talk about it.
Second, shift happens.
(Laughter)
In other words, throughout history, the script changes.
For example, go back to when our nation was founded.
Our economy was largely built on agriculture.
So what did we need?
Successful farms.
So from the time a kid could carry a bucket,
they were taught what they needed to know to support farming.
Let's call it the farm-work script.
But then as technology advanced, we needed less people on the farm.
So that by the early 1900s,
industry jobs had actually passed agricultural jobs
for the first time.
So what did we need now?
Successful factories.
And that required something different: consistency, conformity.
This is where following protocol became a priority.
And so we shifted from a farm-work to a factory-work script
and designed many of the educational, economic, political
and other systems still in place today to support it all.
Third insight: scripts work.
You see, all life scripts seem to come with a kind of unspoken promise.
Follow it and you'll live a good life.
It's a social contract of sorts.
And there's plenty of examples of that promise being kept.
After all, the farm-work script provided a good stable life for many.
The factory-work script powered an industrial revolution.
It's what gave birth to the American dream.
There's no question that scripts worked,
but all only for a period of time until the world changes.
You tell me, what has changed in our world since the early 1900s?
The answer would be almost what?
Everything.
But I'll tell you one thing that hasn't changed in the last hundred years.
The script.
So what happens when the promise of the script -
love, success, happiness -
and the reality that comes from following it
start to become two very different things.
Because that's what I saw.
While the factory-work script still seemed to work for some,
it wasn't working for everyone.
It definitely didn't feel like it was working for me.
And the deeper that I dug, the more that I learned,
the more that I felt like I've been lied to.
Unintentionally, yeah, but lied to.
I realized I've been following a script
written for a time that no longer existed
and if I continued,
would lead to a life I didn't even want.
I can't be the only one.
And I felt this 18 years ago.
So let's fast forward to today.
Although more educated,
millennials now make up around 40% of the unemployed in our country.
We're all familiar with that whole midlife crisis thing.
But have you guys heard of the quarter-life crisis?
LinkedIn just put out a new study
that said 72% of young professionals, that's three out of four,
have experienced a quarter-life crisis, questioning their life decisions.
And this isn't just a millennial problem.
Right now, the happiness index
says that only one in three Americans are very happy.
So if you're there thinking,
"Blake, I have no idea what you're talking about right now.
I'm perfectly happy,"
well then, odds are the two people next to you probably aren't.
Imagine what the stats would be
if these studies were done in lower income or minority communities
like we're sitting in right now.
The results would even be more alarming.
And then there's Bronnie Ware,
that nurse that spent years documenting and recording
the most common regrets people had at the end of their life.
The number one regret of the dying:
"I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself,
not the life others expected of me."
You see the gap between the promise and the reality is getting bigger.
Now it's easy to think,
"Blake, why don't people just pick a better script from today?"
Come on, let's be real.
A lot of people are trying, but most people feel stuck.
I found that most people that are stuck fall into one of two camps.
I call the first camp the traditionalist.
You're still holding onto the old script.
You did everything right,
but there's a part of you that just feels like something is missing.
You continue doing what you're supposed to do,
hoping that one day it will all pay off.
This is a camp of a lot of boomers, older gen X-ers,
millennials that don't want to piss off their parents.
I know this camp well.
I lived in it for 18 years of life.
How many of you guys know people in the traditionals camp right now?
The second camp I call the rebels.
You rebel against the old script.
You know something is missing,
but you don't quite have a new proven script to follow.
You might feel misunderstood by others,
maybe sometimes doubt yourself,
but you're hoping that one day, you'll figure it all out.
I know this camp well too.
I remember, actually, when I graduated college,
all my family and friends seemed to ask the exact same question.
They're like, "Blake, so what are going to do now?"
There's me, graduated early with honors, great resume.
My answer, "I think I'm going to be an entrepreneur."
(Laughter)
People thought I was crazy.
How many of you guys know people in the rebel camp?
By the way, these two camps might help explain
some of the tension we're seeing between generations today.
I feel like we're stuck in a generational yelling match over a bad phone connection.
You got older generations saying, "Just follow the script."
Younger generation is trying to yell back, "It's not working!"
Older generations, "They're not listening."
Younger generations yelling, "It's not working!"
I guess me being born in the early '80s
puts me right in the middle as a getting-gray-hair millennial.
(Laughter)
I feel like I can hear both sides of the conversation
and just want to help the worlds come together.
Despite who's right, both feel stuck.
Both are missing the same thing.
Both need a shift.
Good news is there's a third camp you can join today.
I call it the creators.
You're very aware of the old script that's being passed down,
but just know that if followed unfiltered, it's not going to work for you.
So you take the parts you want, leave out what you don't,
find what else you need and create your own way.
This is where I found the life and success that I've enjoyed for a over a decade now.
Like making my first million before age 25.
Doing that tens of times over by age 30.
And while money is important, quality of life is about so much more.
I love my wife.
I love being a father to an amazing boy.
We got a baby girl due any day now.
We've been able to keep health a priority, see the world, create new experiences,
focus on my career on pursuing ideas I'm passionate about.
And I only share this to say that it's possible.
It's what?
Audience: Possible.
And it can happen quicker today than ever before.
Think about it, who do you know that's crushing it right now?
I don't mean crushing it just in business.
I mean crushing it in life.
Who comes to mind?
Are they following the same script you are?
You see, after studying hundreds of creators over nearly two decades,
I found that we all have at least one thing in common.
At some point,
we decided to stop trying to be
the person we've been told we're supposed to be
and to become the person we're meant to be.
We shifted our script, and you can too.
Let me ask you guys,
If the you of today could go back in time
and have a conversation with your younger self,
what part of your script would you change?
How much more of your life needs to go by before you make that shift?
So by now, you guys are thinking,
"Blake, I get it already. Just give it to me.
So what's the new script?"
After everything I just said up here, I'd be hypocritical to say,
"Okay, here's your new one-script-fits-all."
So, no, I'm not going to give you
a prescription of what you're supposed to do.
My mission though is to inspire you
to start discovering for yourself who you're meant to be
and to shift the script you need to be that person every single day.
And I actually just gave you everything you need.
So, three things you can do to begin immediately.
Number one, admit there's a script.
There's massive power in just the awareness.
Realizing there's a script can feel like
someone just turned the lights on for the first time all your life.
But once you know you're following one,
you can begin to question if it's the right one.
Number two, ask why.
Why do you think that?
Why do you do that?
Why do you care?
Start questioning the script that you're following every day
and be honest with yourself.
Is it productive or destructive?
Is it just because you're supposed to, or is it something you're meant to?
And ultimately, is it moving you toward or away the life that you want?
And lastly, become a creator.
Now, if you are the rebel or the traditionals right now,
and you're perfectly happy with everything going on,
by all means, carry on.
But if you felt the way I did, you're looking for something new,
become a creator.
Some of you will have the passion to go create new things.
Contents, products, technologies. brands, businesses.
Whole new carriers, entire new industries.
But all of you have the potential to create your life your way.
And that's the power of becoming a creator.
Maybe start with the script that we recited earlier,
and you'll see certain themes.
You see, shifting your script is just changing the belief system
you have around the major themes in your life.
For example, who says that your education only has to happen in a classroom?
Shift the script.
Or that your happiness has to come after some never ending series of steps?
Shift the script.
Or that your legacy has to be tied to your address,
the color of your skin or where you came from?
Shift the script.
They're all just scripts that you can shift any time you want,
and that's the point.
I'll end with one final story.
Like any proud parent, I want to share a photo of my son.
This is Greyson, and he thinks he's a dinosaur.
He loves to go monster hunting,
and he's pretty confident he can shoot lasers out of his right arm.
Earlier this year, my wife and I had a conversation with a nice woman
who gave us a thick stack of papers and said,
"Please fill this out. Complete the application.
Schedule your interview."
You'd think we are qualifying for a home loan, only we weren't.
We were applying for Greyson's preschool.
(Laughter)
Later that night, something hit me hard.
The decisions my wife and I are making right now
are already beginning to shape Greyson's life script.
And while I have some ideas of where to begin,
the minute he steps outside our doors, he enters a world
where the script is going to reinforce certain expectations about life,
and that's where you come in, all of you.
As parents, friends, family members, educators, influencers
and anyone that genuinely cares about the impact
we're going to make on our next generation.
Because the script you choose to follow ultimately writes the story of your life.
What story will that be?
And collectively, the stories of our lives make up the world we live in.
Which means that if this conversation right now
inspires enough of you as individuals to shift your script,
then it's only a matter of time until we shift the script.
And that shift is long overdue.
Thank you.
(Applause)