(Intro Song) You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
A lot of people wonder why they're called jalapeno poppers,
and the reason why is because, if you take a jalapeno and flip it inside out, it'll...
*pop*
Magic.
You can, of course, avoid that by just de-popping them in advance.
*de-popping noises*
That one's not gonna go anywhere.
So we're gonna start by having these and removing the egg nests.
I find it's handy to scrape them out with a spoon.
This is where a lot of the heat is stored.
If you want to leave a little spicy surprise, you can just sprinkle a few of those eggs back in there. >:D
Ooh, those seeds are spicy.
I better get drunk to counteract that.
*sluuuuuurp*
Now after handling jalapenos,
You want to wash your hands before you touch your...
eyes,
nose,
armpits,
buttocks,
genitalia,
orifices,
skin,
liver, lungs, heart, brains
objects,
or horses.
*sink noises*
Joke's on me, I only washed one hand.
Now we're gonna take take some cream cheese,
Not block cheese
Not string cheese,
Not cylinder cheese,
Not cheese that slaps,
Not parellel line cheese,
Not pentagonal prism cheese,
Not cheese dice,
Cream cheese, okay? We'll take
We'll take half a block that was supposed to be a cool chop. I'm gonna soften this with microwaves
That was supposd to be a cool chop
I gonna soften this with microwaves.
*microwave door slamming*
You can use any kind of waves you want.
Oh whoops, I mean like 20 seconds.
Whoa, it's popping. I didn't know that could pop. Okay, so we're gonna take this softened cream cheese and add
1/2 teaspoon of garlic powder but since I forgot to get more garlic powder
I'm just putting in a teaspoon and a half of cumin. I'm throwing in I have no idea how much pepper pepper pepper
I'm squirting in some sriracha because I totally neutered the heat, pinch of salt
Yeah, we'll just mix this all up, Wang jangle this all up, that's way too much cumin: trick statement.
There's no such thing as way too much cumin. Guys,
I'm addicted to cumin and you should be too this is one of my top 10
Philadelphian foods easily and we'll start filling these up how full not full just under the brim is good
Now that most of the egg nests are out of the jalapeno is you can touch all the orifices and horses that you want
Let's do one where we just really fill it up. See what happens with that one
I'm an adult sue me, so the endo has been preheated to 400
now onto my parchment paper pen go the peppers in preparation of the procedure in which they will be pummeled by
uum whatever word for heat that starts with the letter P
Now we're gonna wrap these with strips of bacon also known as edible tape
Which is a good idea if you A) like bacon
B) enjoy the taste of bacon C) consume bacon D) are not bacon averse or E) like bacon
Then we're gonna have to cut these you'll have to just make a judgment call here
But I do recommend tucking under and then coming back around and tucking under again. Here's an idea
Let's cut it first and we're not gonna use toothpicks because if you make just 9 million of these that's an entire tree
Oh and why you got the scissors feel free to snip off the rat tails?
Some people like to use them as handles, but some people I don't know
Into the undoh we gundo and we'll put those in for around 20 minutes
Let's take a look. Ooh
Whoopsie do look at that Oh looking good. Look at that color
Mmm, and you can see why I should have made these on a wire rack. I take a plate
I'll take a paper towel, which will rip off at my mouth
Slide this one over to the edge. Take a bite at Pizza. Mmm lift these over
Gently cradling them with our four prong spoon
Laying them down. Oh, look. Do we have any problem not having to use toothpicks?
No, we don't. This is the one where I filled it to the brim, see how it's spilling out a bit
Now I'm not gonna lie. It did accidentally melt a bag onto this burner in the process, but you know
That happens sometimes when you're just neglectful in drinking. Now for showmanship purposes
we'll just
Move these on over they're gonna be a bit hot due to the heat that was around
23 minutes total and they're looking pretty good. I'm not gonna lie. This cumin doesn't make them look as good as
using garlic powder almost looks like dirty cheese or something, but is it worth it for the flavor? I don't know. Let's check
Mm-hmm. I stand by it. tastes great