yes easily dreamers welcome back to
another lesson with me Tom today we're
looking at the top 10 most creative
British insults so that if you want to
call someone stupid or say that they're
ugly in a really imaginative way this is
the video for you let's get going
number 10 no oil painting no oil
painting this is a great way to say that
someone is ugly okay because oil
paintings they're quite beautiful right
ah but if you're saying someone is not
an oil painting then they're not
beautiful so there must be ugly let's be
honest your ex was nice by she was no
oil painting was she how that's things
that hurts
but there's more one of my favorites to
have a face like a bulldog chewing a
wasp to have a face like a bulldog
chewing a wasp again this means that
someone is ugly right
imagine a bulldog trying to chew us it's
not very beautiful right don't get me
wrong right you're a good-looking guy
but in the morning sometimes your face
doesn't like a bulldog chewing a wasp
just saying if you said that to someone
they'd be pretty insulted okay it's not
terribly Toby rude you're not using any
swear words but it's a very creative way
to say that someone is ugly now there
are variations of this you could say you
have a face like the back end of a bus
that's another nice one you have a face
like the back end of a bus you don't I'm
not saying that you do you're you're
beautiful don't get me wrong but you can
say to someone else another variation is
you have a face like a slapped ass you
have a face like a slapped us use those
with caution
now all ten of these insults come from
my brand-new book it's a guy two British
English and it's gonna be out really
really soon as soon as it's out in fact
I'm going to put a link in the
description below so keep your eyes open
okay the next one a big girl's blouse
now what's the meaning well it would be
directed towards a man
who you think is weak and cowardly and
maybe doesn't have a high threshold for
pain now in this day and age there are
questions about is this an acceptable
phrase to use is it sexist because it's
a phrases linking weakness and cowardice
with a female item of clothing and so
perhaps it's time for us to stop using
this phrase so now I'm really intrigued
to know what you guys think about its
phrase is this just a fun playful phrase
it's quite creative or is it a phrase
that perhaps is a little bit sexist and
a little bit old-fashioned is it a
phrase that perhaps we should stop using
so I love your opinions on this let me
know in the comments below ok so there's
all my sentence maybe it's a winter's
morning it's really cold and you're like
I want to go and play football and you
make sense karma Tom you big girl's
blouse let's play some football
I guess a synonym would be wimp a wimp
so perhaps just use the word wimp if you
don't feel comfortable using this word
two sandwiches short of a picnic that
means that someone is a little bit crazy
they're not all together with it in in
their mind now I love this phrase in the
sense that it's very cultural right
because sandwiches it's the food that we
eat we love sandwiches and we go for
picnics there's a very British thing so
if you're two sandwiches short of a
picnic it's not all there right it's
incomplete and maybe the person is a
little bit crazy now I'd love to know in
your language what would that be it
might not be two sandwiches short of a
picnic it might be two other things
maybe food items that are more common in
your culture so let me know the comments
below instead of two sandwiches short of
a picnic what would you say right okay
I swear I'll bus it to soldiers over
panic mentally now a similar phrase to
this is not the sharpest tool in the box
this means that someone's a little bit
dumb a bit stupid okay so maybe someones
just you and your company and you're all
talking about them and you're like what
do you think of what do you think of
Larry Larry he's not the sharpest tool
in the box is he kind of mean but also
kind of funny and creative so yeah we'll
go in at once we have two for one okay
now we're talking here about England
specifically it's divided into the north
and the south roughly there is a line
somewhere near Birmingham and everything
north of that is the north of England
and everything south of that is the
south of England now each has an insult
for the other so
in the South of England people call the
view of the north of England northern
monkeys in the north they called the pin
from the South southern softies now both
are offensive I'm not telling you to use
them I'm just raising your awareness ok
so please don't go out there start
calling someone a southern softer your
northern monkey you might offend someone
but they're phrases they exist right
I guess the link here is that northern
monkey people think maybe people are
stupid and then in the south and then
people from the north of England think
that people have in the south or it's
soft a bit weak a bit wimpy in some
respects dead from the neck up dead from
the neck up I think you can imagine what
this means stupid right
dead from the neck up so your brain
there's nothing there that's not nothing
going on may I swear that guy on the
canteen dead from the neck up
honestly no nothing dull as dishwater or
dull as ditchwater depending on what you
say I usually say dishwater basically
means really boring if someone's really
boring and say wow he's dull as
dishwater like he is so boring
I mean what'd you think about Kate's new
boyfriend yeah yeah he's done as
dishwater mate yeah what yeah coming
we're just yep
get back coming mad as a box of frogs
bad as a box of frogs you can imagine a
box with lots of frogs in there going
everywhere
they're jumping everywhere they're kind
of crazy kind of what it means right mad
as a box of frogs my old art teacher was
mad as a box of frogs you know all of
you you're as mad as a box of frogs I've
had it with you luck unbelievable now
what would that be in your language let
me know is it mad as a different animal
you tell me this is to insult a place
you would say it's the armpit of
somewhere so for example I might say
Norwich is the armpit of England
actually berming is the armpit of
England but anyway like it's the worst
part of England it's if you think about
an armpit under here it's pretty gross
isn't it like it's the part that you
look at the least you want to think
about the least you smells bad you get
the idea right so No
which is the armpit of England now I'm
not saying that for real yeah he is
saying that actually no which is a
lovely place
please go visit there but it's an
example okay
notice the armpit of England you can use
it for anything though right you could
say the United States is the armpit of
the world just an example it's not my
opinion okay so you can have lots of
creative ways to play with that right so
the armpit of somewhere so it could be a
city could be an area could be a country
could be the world whatever it might be
the armpit of something ten
fantastically creative ways to insult
someone now please be careful with these
phrases don't go around being offensive
use them with people who would
understand and not get offended by you
okay now please go out and insult
alright guys thank you so much for
watching remember I've got a book coming
out really soon it's a guy two British
English these phrases will be in there
along with so many more I can't wait to
show it to you guys when it's out the
link will be below this video alright
guys thank you so much this is Tom
the chief dreamer saying goodbye