Hello my wonderful friend in today's video I'm going to be addressing a
question that a lot of men have. And that is "Is she using me?" The sad reality is
there are a lot of girls who use guys and it's wrong. As a matter of fact it's
a sign of a toxic girlfriend or a toxic woman so it's definitely something you
want to avoid. Because how sad is it to think someone cares about you only to
realize she was just using you. I have five signs that she's using you that I'm
going to be sharing with you today, and once you know these signs you will be
able to better assess if she is in fact using you. There's a lot of freedom that
comes from just knowing and being able to move on and find the relationship
that you deserve and that you ultimately want. Before we get started with that
though if this is your first time visiting my channel or watching one of
my videos be sure to subscribe and bring that notification bell. My name is
Melannie, I'm a dating coach for Christian men. I help them find and attract the
girl of your dreams and I don't want you to miss any of the videos I have coming
so be sure to subscribe and ring that bell. Your dream girl is out there she
has waiting to find you and I'm here to help you find and attract her. I also have
a very special gift I want to give you at the end of this video that will help
you know how to be a total heartthrob and totally get girls crushing on you
like nobody's business so be sure to watch to the end. So today
as I mentioned I will be addressing the question "is she using me?" and I want to
start with a little bit of a story. There is a gal I know, we will call her Jessica.
Jessica had been dating John like once a week for about a year. So Jessica was
chatting with one of her friends one day and she said "So, you and John, are you
thinking there's gonna be a ring soon?" and Jessica replied "What are you talking
about?" And her friend was like "Well you've been going out for a while so you
know aren't you getting kind of serious?" and Jessica replied "Are you kidding? He's
not remotely attractive, I don't enjoy doing the same things he does, why in the
world would I ever want to marry him?" And her friend
asked her "Well then why in the world have you been going out with him so
steady and so long?" and Jessica replied "Well he buys me food." I am not kidding
you guys. This, as a woman, this really makes me kind of mad. And it actually
like breaks my heart. I cannot believe there are women who do
this but the sad reality is there are women who do this. Who use men. It's
actually a trait of a toxic woman or an adult bully as I like to call it. I have
done past videos on signs of a toxic girlfriend. You can watch that here.
There's a part one and here's a part two.
Be sure to check those out if you are wondering if there's a toxic girlfriend
in your life. And that leads us right into the first sign that she's using you.
And that is that she just wants you to buy her stuff. A really good sign of a
girl who is using you is a girl who only wants to spend time with you if she gets
something out of it. If you go to a new movie together, or if you buy her
food, or if you can go shopping together, one of the main signs of a girl who's
using you is a girl who only wants to be with you if you're spending money on her.
So if you're wondering if this is happening in your life it can be
really beneficial to start asking her on dates where you don't spend any money.
Dates that are free or have very minimal amounts of money being spent. And the
truth is this is just kind of a good thing to do anyway. Some of the best
dates I have been, on some of the most fun I have had, have been absolutely free
but they've allowed me to really get to know a guy and they really let you talk
and really connect and have fun. So spending money is not mandatory for
dates by any means. So if you're suspecting maybe she's, you know, using
you then start going on some dates that don't cost any money and see how she
reacts. If she either one absolutely refuses or two pouts
and lets you know she's not very happy that you're not spending money on
her, even if she doesn't say it that way, or three she agrees to do it and then
tries to convince you to, you know, get something to eat or do something that
spends money. Sign number two is if she suggests you should hang out and you
should, you know, bring your friend along. This means she's trying to get to your
friend. Which is again so sad I can't believe people actually do this but they
do. If she says she wants to hang out with you and then asks you to bring your
friend along or wants to tag along with you when you do things with your friend
or if she spends a lot of time talking to you about your friend when you're
together then the sad reality is she's interested in your friend. Now this
doesn't mean obviously that she can't be friends with the same people you're
friends with. It's how much attention she shows towards your friends. And so again
if she's willing to spend time one-on-one with you and not talk
about your friends then that's a good sign. But if she's just trying to get to
your friend, she's just trying to get to your friend. Now before we get to step
three I'm really curious. As we go through these signs let me know in the
comments below if you've ever seen these signs or if this has ever happened to
you or a friend. Just drop me a comment below. Sign number three is she's not
present. This can mean she's not present emotionally, she's not invested in the
relationship. So if she needs some kind of emotional support she expects you to
be there. But if you need some emotional support
she doesn't care, she's not there and it just doesn't happen. It can also mean
that she's not present physically. So if you want to go do something that's
important to you or there's some sort of event that you need to go to and you
would appreciate her support and she's just not willing to do that or she mopes
or pouts or isn't enjoyable if she does go. Being present physically can also
mean if she needs comfort or a hug or you to be there and you're there but
then when you need that she's not, she's not invested at all. She's using you to
get what she wants but she doesn't really care what you need. Sign number
four. She won't tell people that you're a couple.
She won't be, when you're together she acts like you're a couple but she
won't let anybody else know. Why does she need to hide that? That should be your
first question. Why does she need to hide the fact that you care about each other
if in fact she does care about you? This means that there are probably things
going on behind your back that you're not aware of and that's why she doesn't
want anyone to know that you are a couple. But when you're together
she wants to get as much from the relationship as she can. Often these
girls actually have several guys that they're "in a relationship with"
and the reason they don't want to become public is because they're
trying to hide all that from everybody else in their life. That or she's just
trying to keep her options open to find a "better" guy. Sign number five I like to
call selfie attack. A little bit of a story to go with this one. There's this
gal I know who every time she would meet a new guy, as soon as possible she would
start posting selfies with him all over the place. Like just flood your Facebook
feed with pictures with a new guy. And they were always so close and she'd
get away with kissing him as soon as she could get away with kissing him on these
pictures and put all these sappy captions. Every time you would get on
social media there are pictures with her and a guy. And then as soon as they
broke up then there'd be pictures of their breakup and then pictures with a
new guy... And the sad thing is that's what a lot of girls do who are toxic girls.
Obviously healthy girls don't do that. But toxic girls want the social
attention from being in a relationship. They want to look really good be it on
social media or even in public with the people they know. They want to be noticed
as having a guy. And really they just, one they just want to be seen as having a
guy but two they like to frankly have a string of guys and to have their social
media filled up with pictures of all these guys because they think they look
super cool because they've gotten all these guys to like them. So if you know a
girl who likes to constantly take selfies and always be posting about you
and her and your relationship and be all over it and everything, that's a
sign that she's doing this for social reasons. For her ego, not necessarily
because she's invested in the relationship. Again that doesn't mean
taking selfies together is bad, as a matter of fact that's a fabulous way to
make memories and to celebrate knowing each other. As long as you're doing it in
appropriate amounts and doing it for the appropriate reasons to keep those
memories. Not to get a whole bunch of likes and attention.
Another thing girls like this will do is they will be really loud and really
overbearing about being in a relationship. They want everyone to notice
that they're in a relationship and "Oh we're so in love!" And again all they're trying to
do is get everyone in the room to notice that she's got a boy, rather than
actually caring about the man. So she's using you to get attention, really. So
there you have it five signs that she is using you and frankly that she's a toxic
girlfriend. One thing I really want you to remember is you don't deserve to be
with a toxic girlfriend. That is not a fulfilling relationship. Toxic women are
incredibly manipulative and they play the part of the victim and will try to
get you to stay in that relationship, because again, they benefit from it you
don't. But the truth is you deserve someone who's amazing and who's going to
treat you like the wonderful person you are. Honestly it can be very very hurtful
when we realize someone that we are interested in is actually using us, but
allowing ourselves to be very honest with ourselves about this and
acknowledge it and walk away from it is one of the most healing things we can do
because it opens the doors for us to be able to actually find that type of
relationship that we're really longing for and that you really deserve. The
bottom line is you deserve a wonderful relationship and never feel like you're
only good enough for a toxic girlfriend. Thank you so much again for
watching my wonderful friend. As I mentioned I have a free gift for you. One
that is going to help you melt girls hearts and find a healthy and
happy relationship instead of a toxic girlfriend. 17 Traits Christian Women
Want Most in a Man. All you have to do is click the link in the description below.
It'll ask for your name and your email, as soon as you enter that I will send it
your way. Again if you have not yet subscribed be sure to do it now and ring
that notification bell. Also give me a big thumbs up. If we're not yet friends
on social media check out the links down below and be sure to say "Hi." Thank you
again my amazing friend and have an amazing day. [blooper beep] I will be addressing a
question that many men have and that is "Is she using me?" ... [forgot what to say] Uh-huh [laughter]
Before we get started with that though if this is your first time watching one
of my vize- [laughter] I almost said "vizeos."