Choosing your date night look can be a daunting task. You want to look flawless in order to
make a good impression, but your outfit can communicate a lot of different things, good
and bad! Before you post that pregame glow-up, experts weigh in on what you shouldn't rock
for date night.
"My body is my canvas and my clothes is my paint."
Thigh-high boots are a total no-no when you're choosing an outfit for a date. Love and dating
coach Josie May says,
"Thigh-high boots may look good when you go out dancing with your girlfriends. But unfortunately,
on a date, they give off a hooker vibe."
Since you're probably not going for Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, you don't want to
send the message that you're too available or, even worse, easy.
"Big mistake. Big. Huge."
Play up your allure and mystique with something like a bootie, rather than strutting around
in attention-seeking thigh-highs.
"Nice shoes, lady."
When it comes to a flattering look, fit is everything. Psychologist, relationship, and
dating expert and award-winning author, Antonia Hall, warns against clothes that don't quite
fit, especially things that are too small. She says,
"If your clothes are too tight, it tells the person that you have low self-esteem and are
trying to gain attention in the wrong ways."
"Are you okay?"
"No. I can't breathe. It's so tight."
You'll likely also be fidgeting and fussing with your clothes, which is annoying for you
and everyone around you. Rori Sassoon, image consultant, relationship expert, and CEO and
co-founder of elite matchmaking service Platinum Poire, also adds,
"[Avoid] something that you can't get into and out of, on your own. What if you need
to go to the bathroom and you can't undo the zipper? What are you going to do? Ask your
date to unzip you?"
If you go the opposite route and wear clothes that are oversized and falling off your body,
you could appear sloppy and disinterested in either yourself, your date, or both.
"Interesting jeans, Lena."
"Oh, yeah, it's a long story."
Antonia Hall advises,
"If your clothes are baggy and loose, you'll look like you didn't put in an effort and
just don't really care…Wear something that fits and shows off your figure…and you'll
make the best impression."
Skip the icons and brand names on a date, so you don't look like a walking advertisement.
Author, speaker, and healer Jaya Jaya Myra says,
"Never wear clothing that contains slogans or noticeable brand icons. Clothing is meant
to be more subtle than that, and properly picked clothing can elevate your ability to
communicate with your date."
"Check out these straps. It's got the name on it."
Plus, you don't want your cute cropped Champion sweatshirt sending secret messages about you
to your date. Myra added,
"You want your date to get to know you without having preconceived notions of who you are
before you ever open your mouth, and that won't happen if your clothes broadcast an
idea more loudly than your conversation does."
Along with passing on the logos, you definitely don't wanna show up wearing messages on your
shirt, either. Celebrity matchmaker Bonnie Winston says no one wants to be the butt of
a bad joke, revealing,
"I had a client who was with a man who bought a shirt on the Venice Beach boardwalk. The
shirt said, 'I'm with stupid.' He wanted her to wear it and she said. 'No.' They broke
up over it…Not everyone has the same sense of humor!"
"I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying that to be helpful."
Dawnn Karen, who studies the hidden synergy between fashion and psychology, adds,
"One should not wear slogan tees to avoid embodying the slogan for the duration of the
date."
Vanity Capital's Kaitlin Kapur admits she's not exactly one to restrict anyone's appearance,
saying,
"[I'm] not a fan of telling people what they can or cannot wear because style is such a
fun way for an individual to express themselves."
But she does say there's one look that's not revealing anything good about you, stains
on your clothes. She warns,
"One thing you should always avoid is clothing that is dirty and or wrinkled."
Dirty clothes can make you appear messy in life and love, and everything else. Keep your
look clean, pressed, and fresh as a daisy.
"And this fresh scent will last?"
"It's like you shoved a rainbow up your nose."
Professional matchmaker Susan Trombetti draws the line at athleisure, for date wear. She
says,
"Don't ever show up [to] a date wearing a sports bra. Save it for the gym. I don't care
if you are meeting for happy hour drinks at the bar next to the gym and you have a great
bod. It's not appropriate…It can say 'I don't care,' and it's all too revealing at
the same time."
"You don't have to bare it all to feel more confident."
If right now you're thinking who the heck wears a sports bra on a date, Trombetti claims
that it's more common than you think. If you absolutely have to work a peekaboo bra into
the mix, try a sporty bralette layered under a blazer for an on-trend approach.
Black is timeless, chic and slimming. And that's probably why it's the preferred monochromatic
fashion color of many women. But Bonnie Winston wants you to lighten up when it comes to your
date night look. She says,
"Please don't dress as if you're attending a funeral, date, after date, after date. The
message is very depressing. At least, try to lighten things up with a few colorful accessories."
"I wear black all the time because it's just the easiest most effortless uniform for me."
If you're someone who personally abides by an "all black everything" wardrobe, try mixing
in a pop of gray. That way, you can rock shades of black, without getting way too dark.
"I'm not tryna show you all my cookies, but a mini skirt is pretty short, guys."
You can go ahead and put that tight skirt back in your closet, according to wardrobe
consultant Diane Pollack. She warns against bodycon minis, since they can ride up and
cause you to be fidgeting with them instead of being present in the moment. She says,
"Never wear something that is uncomfortable and doesn't fit…Basically…anything that
you are preoccupied with is going to detract from you being present and having fun on the
date."
Distracting prints are also a no-go because they draw attention to themselves. Emmy Award-winning
stylist David Zyla, author of Color Your Style and How to Win at Shopping, says,
"When dressing for a date, avoid all prints, logos, and anything that distracts from you."
"Fashion's like your superpower. You shouldn't have to hide it."
Zyla says it might help to focus on your top half when choosing what to wear on a date.
He explained,
"Since most dates are over dinner or drinks, always dress as you would for a portrait,
a.k.a. from the waist up…The most flattering item to wear on a date is a top or dress in
your favorite lipstick color, guaranteed to bring out the [prettiest], most romantic side
of you."
Whatever you do, definitely don't dress for a date like someone even your friends wouldn't
recognize.
"Your closet should be a shrine to your future."
Rose Jubb, a wardrobe stylist who specializes in helping women claim more confidence and
reach their goals, says,
"The one thing a woman should never wear on a date is anything that makes her feel like
someone she is not. Basically, don't fish with the wrong bait. Be yourself, but the
slightly polished version, and you'll reel in the keepers who love you for you."
Pause the perfume, people. April Davis, dating expert and CEO of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking,
says to nix fragrance for date night. It might seem counterintuitive, since aromas can be
alluring and memorable, but it turns out, they can also overwhelm the olfactory sense.
"Red Flag by Chanel. The only perfume that warns men."
"I'm f---ing crazy."
Davis says,
"Sure, your favorite scent makes you feel like a bombshell. But that doesn't mean he
will think the same. We're all sensitive to smell and if you chose the wrong scent, you
might be risking it all! Save the perfume for when you have your new love interest on
lock down!"
Save the slouchy looks for your me-time. It turns out, you can appear a little frumpy
if you wear a loose knit on a date. April Davis says,
"A huge attire mistake for a first date…is sweaters. They're cute and cozy, but they're
more of a third or fourth date kind of thing."
"It's itchy. It's choking me."
Unless you regularly go for that snatched pinup look, sweaters aren't usually cut to
flatter your assets. Davis added,
"Sweaters aren't usually form-fitting and can be a little frumpy. The first few dates
are your time to spark interest. Yes, mystery is nice, but you don't want to crush their
imagination with an outfit their mom might have worn."
"All you're gonna do is embarrass yourselves."
Marilyn Monroe is quoted as once saying, "Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer
the world." And for that, you can wear flats, or heels, just make sure you can walk in whatever
you choose on a date.
"She was just like heels, moi, yes, love."
Personal shopper and expert stylist Jocelyn Kaye weighed in, saying,
"Nothing kills the mood more quickly than feeling physically uncomfortable. Dates often
take serendipitous turns and we find ourselves walking across the Brooklyn Bridge or on a
romantic stroll through a park, a little adventure is a true aphrodisiac! Feeling comfortable
and confident is key."
Girl, if you are a total Carrie Bradshaw and are most comfortable in towering heels, then
rock your look.
"Manolo Blahnik mary janes. I thought these were an urban shoe myth."
Just be sure about what your date has planned, since you might not want to wear six-inch
pumps if you're going to be doing a lot of walking. If the date is a surprise, manage
your heel height. Fashion blogger Billie Jean Bateson says,
"The most important thing you should never wear on a date is extremely high heels, above
three inches, if you don't know where you will go."
You definitely don't want to bail on a romantic stroll together, for the sake of your toes.
Keep your heel height in check, so you can go with the flow.
No offence to statement stacked bangles, but noisy accessories might not be the best choice
for a date. Dating and relationship coach Christine Baumgartner explained why, saying,
"I encourage women to occasionally touch their hair [and] the arm of their date, since this
breaks the personal space barrier between them and also lets the woman see how she feels
when she touches him, and to sometimes use their hands while they talk because it can
show how passionate they are about the subject. And wearing jewelry that makes sounds would
be very distracting."
Scaled-back accessories are preferred to prevent your jewelry from stealing your spotlight.
"Everything just looks better in eyewear."
The eyes are the windows to the soul, so don't block yourself from connecting with someone
on a deeper level by wearing sunglasses the whole time. Relationship coach Dr. Siva says,
"Everyone looks better in a pair of designer sunglasses, but it stops the one thing you
want from a first date: that soul-level connection…Men tell me that [sunglasses make] women look
unapproachable and also distant. Many of them do not even click on women wearing sunglasses
in their dating profiles."
"I would never smile with these sunglasses. Never."
It's also been scientifically proven that your eyes communicate a lot, without you ever
saying a word. Siva explained,
"The [whites] of your eyes are designed to enhance communication with your partner by
showing which way you are looking. Studies show we naturally learn this as babies, even
before we can speak."
So ditch the Ray-Bans if you want to connect for real.
Carina Pedersen, resident "Knicker Lady" and stylist for upscale lingerie brand, Enclosed,
suggests keeping undies private, but pretty, for your date. She says,
"Heaven forbid you show up to a first date in ugly undergarments…On that first date,
you want to feel desirable, attractive, and sensual. The way you feel on the inside projects
onto your interaction with your date and a little extra boost of confidence can go a
long way."
"Surely these would be most attractive at crucial moment. However, chances of reaching
crucial moment greatly increase by wearing these."
Take a minute to choose your cutest underpinnings, even if it's only you who ever sees them.
Pedersen explains,
"Wearing fantastic lingerie under your clothes on a date doesn't have to be overtly [intimate],
it can [and might] remain your little secret. The bottom line is if you feel empowered and
[beautiful], your partner will notice too."
The "are leggings pants?" argument has raged on for years, with fashion types firmly divided
on the issue. That said, leggings and yoga pants remain wildly popular. They're perfect
for working out, running errands, grabbing coffee with your friends, and for dressing
up. But they are, unapologetically, crossed off the date list.
"Let's get real. Leggings can be pants, pajamas, and a napkin."
Wardrobe stylist Rose Jubb says,
"Leave the yoga pants at home. Every item of clothing serves a purpose, but I'd never
tell you to wear a cocktail dress to Pilates."
At the end of the day, you are free to wear whatever makes you feel your best for your
date. Dating coach and matchmaker, Laura Bilotta, noted:
"Deciding what to wear on a date is stressful; you want to look attractive, yet effortless,
which is tricky. Ultimately, the number one thing that you shouldn't wear on a date is
something you aren't comfortable wearing."
And that extends to your emotional comfort level as well. She adds,
"If you're constantly going to be pulling down your dress, checking to see if your bra
is showing or not paying attention because your feet hurt too much, then you aren't going
to have a good time, and your date probably won't either…If you're comfortable in the
outfit you've chosen, you can relax and focus on your date."
"I am bold. I am brilliant. I am beautiful."
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