Welcome back to The Whirlpool, where fibs and fabrications are pulled under and drowned.
I’m Michael Whirly.
Of course, if many so-called “scientists” are to be believed, fibs and fabrications
are not the only things that are about to be drowned, and said drownings will be taking
place in many regions outside the confines of this program.
I am referring, of course, to this business of “climate change.”
By the way, has anyone noticed that it’s “climate change” now?
Whatever happened to “global warming”?
I guess those smarty-pants climatologists had to scramble to come up with a new name
once their theory that the planet was getting hotter was contradicted by a little thing
called winter!
Who could have seen that coming?
Global warming, climate change, whatever you want to call it is, naturally, a hoax.
None other than the High President of the United States himself, His Excellency Donald
John Trump, has declared it to be so.
The President’s is the only expert opinion I need to hear in order to make up my mind,
but in this case it just so happens there is another authority on the subject whose
knowledge is even greater than that of His Excellency President Trump, if you can believe
it.
And that authority’s name is God.
When God created heaven and earth roughly six thousand years ago, he built them to last.
“But, Michael,” you may be saying, “What about the degradation of this world due to
sin?
Couldn’t climate change be a product of that?”
The answer is no, and for two reasons.
First, climate change is supposedly the result of mass industrialization, which in turn drove
the growth of capitalism, which as we all know is God’s favorite economic system.
Doing things which are pleasing to God is literally the opposite of sin, therefore if
the amount of humanity’s sinfulness could affect the climate, we should expect things
to have gotten better over the last two hundred years, not worse.
Any way you look at it, this theory makes no sense.
Second, while the fallen state of the world, the result of the original sin of the woman
Eve, is significantly deteriorated from God’s original design, that doesn’t mean sin is
capable of changing fundamental aspects of the world, such as the climate.
When God created the world, he gave it the climate he wanted it to have and locked it
in.
How do I know?
The same way I know everything else I know: the Bible tells me so.
In Genesis 8:22, it is written “All the days of the earth, seedtime and harvest, cold
and heat, summer and winter, night and day, shall not cease.”
In other words, everything is fine, nothing is changing, so stop trying to scare everyone,
you chicken liberals!
[Ad break]
Hello, faithful Whirlpool viewer!
The response to my special offer of my three books plus two collections of classic videos
has been so overwhelming — by which I mean, I’m overwhelmed at how little interest has
been shown — that I’m making the deal even better!
Now, for a limited time, you can own: all three volumes of The Michael Whirly Library,
my series about the impeachment of Bill Clinton, my series about the victory in Iraq, and — just
added — my video presentation on the alleged hole in the ozone layer — the greatest environmentalist
hoax ever foisted on the American public — until climate change, that is!
This incredibly rare presentation, taken from a first generation copy of a VHS master recorded
live by my fourth grade teacher, along with everything else previously offered, can be
yours for the low, low price of $99.95.
Please make checks payable to Michael Whirly and allow six to eight weeks for delivery,
as I will have to dub those VHS copies the old fashioned way.
Thank you, and God bless The Whirlpool.
[Back to show]
Of course, none of these environmentalists are interested in what God has to say.
They’re more concerned with the opinions of some know-it-all teenager from Sweden named
Greta Toonborg, or Thornberg — I don’t know, I’ve never heard anyone actually say
her name out loud.
I wonder if all these journalists and talk show hosts and “world leaders” who are
hanging on every word this foolish girl says know that she first rose to prominence for
skipping school to protest outside parliament!
Even some Republicans have been careful not to say anything too dismissive about this
truant juvenile delinquent!
She wasn’t learning anything sitting on the sidewalk!
Since when do Republicans celebrate ignorance?
Though, knowing what an atheistic socialist hell hole Sweden is, she was probably better
off skipping school.
It certainly paid off in her case.
She went straight from chronic absenteeism to addressing the United Nations, which I’m
told some people even consider to be an honor, and was celebrated for missing even MORE school
in the process!
Sickening.
Since when do we let teenagers tell us our business when it comes to environmental policy?
Or anything else, for that matter?
I’ll tell you since when: since we stopped listening to God.
In the Bible it clearly states, in Proverbs 22:15, “Folly is bound up in the heart of
a child, and the rod of correction shall drive it away.”
Instead of giving her a microphone, we should give Greta Turnford or whatever her name is
a hickory switch!
And instead of holding it up to her face and listening to what she has to say, we should
swat it sharply across her pampered socialist bottom!
That’s what my parents did to me whenever I showed the slightest sign of disobedience
or independence, and look how well I turned out!
The communists and labor unionists and tree-hugging, grass-smoking pagans who invented the climate
change hoax would love it if we destroyed our economy, dismantled our industries, and
transformed this mighty nation into a society of soy farmers and artisanal bread bakers.
That way, their masters in Beijing and Stockholm could just waltz right in and take over!
Well, think again, hippies!
Sure, you can phase out fossil fuels and heavy industry and replace them with energy sources
that are “green” and “carbon neutral” — over my dead body!
You think we need to change our way of life so we don’t change the climate?
I’ve got news for you: the only person with the power to change the climate is Our Heavenly
Father.
So if the climate is changing — which I doubt — it must be because he wants it that
way!
Just like God wants America to remain the greatest nation on Earth!
And America doesn’t run on hot air and sunshine!
It runs on coal and gasoline!
And it always will.
And anyone who says otherwise is full of hot air.
For The Whirlpool, I’m Michael Whirly.