- Scrap, you know I gotta cook you.
I'm somebody you look to.
I think you only got in the wheelchair,
'cause you want the record label to push you.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Let's go, cuz. - Hold on.
- Besides Love and Hip Hop, Scrap,
where they gonna find you?
How the hell you have on the cast
and no label still would sign you?
(bell dings) (audience laughing)
- Love and Hip Hop still remainder.
The only (censored) on that mother (censored) with a banger.
And I don't give a (censored) about you.
Nick signed you, where they going find you?
(audience laughing)
♪ Black Squad, Black Squad ♪
♪ You don't want no drama ♪
♪ You the only rapper in here ♪
♪ That ain't as tough as his mama ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Wow, (censored), wow.
♪ I know you going to talk about the wheelchair ♪
♪ His ugly ass (censored) here ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ And we don't care about Nick ♪
♪ Your music really ain't (censored) ♪
(bell dings) - A'ight.
- I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna chill real quick.
♪ Yo, he gon' chill ♪
♪ I thought he was going get hyper ♪
♪ Somebody changed his track ♪
♪ And then changed his diaper ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Okay, okay, all right, I got you.
- Roll yo ass out the way.
- Hold up, you been talking (censored)
♪ But it's real simple ♪
♪ Hey Scrap, go ahead ♪
♪ And give this (censored) the chair ♪
♪ Because your whole career been crippled ♪
(bell dings) - Listen, hold on.
(audience laughing)
- All right, hey!
- Hey, hold on.
- [Audience] Hey! Hey! Hey!
♪ Now you wild out ♪ - Your topic is hairstyles.
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ You got the sew-in braids ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ Big ass head ♪
♪ You got the big ass head ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ You had a perm ♪ (audience laughing)
♪ You had a perm ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I sure did ♪
♪ I said you wild out ♪
(censored) (audience laughing)
- Okay, okay.
♪ My job don't take no thinking, yo ♪
♪ I have ya like nam-myoho-renge-kyo ♪
♪ Breathe in, breathe out ♪
- Yoga instructor
(bell dings) (audience cheering)
- Your topic is TV shows.
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, and kill it ♪
♪ Erica Mena, now this is my house ♪
♪ Y'all know the slogan, can't handle my mouth ♪
♪ Can't handle your mouth ♪
♪ Okay, that's light ♪
♪ They know my song and ya damn right ♪
(audience cheering)
♪ You damn right, I'm so lit ♪
♪ Got the whole world up in my biz ♪
♪ Up in your biz, okay you fronting ♪
♪ They all just want to know, who is you (censored) ♪
♪ Who am I (censored), y'all wanna know ♪
♪ Let's not forget Love and Hip Hop ♪
♪ The most popular show ♪
♪ Most popular show, I got my doubts ♪
♪ We know the best show is Wild 'N Out ♪
(audience cheering)
- Erica them some big ass drawers you got on.
I ain't gonna do you any favors.
(audience laughing)
- I can't help that they out there.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
That wasn't even the joke but.
(audience laughing)
(audience cheering)
- So, Erica, you know we've been friends
for a little while now.
You like chicks, and May likes chicks.
The truth is, sometimes I like chicks.
So, while you're here,
I'm just gonna shoot my shot real quick.
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
- Whoa, what happened? - Nasty.
- Wasn't ready for that?
- Let's go, all right. (audience cheering)
It's starring Nick Cannon,
but he didn't get his silly on,
it also had a pretty girl, Christina Milian.
He paid for her love with a ring, but as for me.
♪ Love don't cost a thing ♪ (audience cheering)
- Come on. - We gonna do this again?
- Come on, we been waitin' a year.
♪ I already know, where y'all going ♪
♪ When y'all heading this route ♪
♪ Nick and MTV, please don't edit this out ♪
♪ Y'all gonna have to do way better ♪
♪ Than them Nicki and Meek jokes ♪
♪ 'Cause I left her, don't want her back ♪
♪ And now he's the joke ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
♪ Shout out all the boss chicks wifing dudes ♪
♪ What it do, you just mad Nicki ain't wife you ♪
(bell dings)
♪ And it ain't nothing that you can do ♪
♪ Except take her to court and try to sue ♪
(bell dings) (audience laughing)
♪ Man, what kinda dude is you ♪
♪ That ain't nothing a real man would do ♪
♪ So you can never see me, Chump ♪
♪ He just mad Nicki hit him with the pre-nup ♪
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Turn up, turn up.
- Listen. Look.
♪ Five more shades, you gon' look like CeeLo ♪
♪ I seen your paycheck, Nick Cannon, he pays you zero ♪
♪ After this you going be like, yo, Safaree's my hero ♪
♪ I'm the highlight for this show, you, B-roll ♪
- Oh (imitates buzzer) again. - (imitates buzzer), go play.
♪ What's up Safaree ♪
♪ How it's lookin' ♪
♪ I saw them dudes run you outta Brooklyn ♪
♪ That thug image, it ain't working ♪
♪ We got your old camera, you was twerking ♪
(audience laughing) ♪ You twerking ♪ (bell dings)
- Hold on, hold on, hold on.
♪ He was twerking ♪
- Your battle is Jesse Hilarious versus Michael Blackson.
(audience cheering)
(audience laughing)
- (censored) you mother (censored).
(audience laughing)
I used to be a fan,
I wanted to (censored) you,
but I found out you are a man.
(audience laughing)
- (censored), you look like me.
I ain't gonna rhyme,
I'm just gonna tell you how black you is.
(audience laughing)
You look like under the bed.
(audience laughing)
Stevie Wonder sees you every day.
(audience laughing)
- Okay, okay, mother (censored), okay,
I am black as (censored)
but please don't hate, I got one confession,
this accent is fake, and I'm really from Philly for real.
(audience laughing)
And I'm not even African, I'm just black as (censored).
So, that's just what it is.
- (censored) you (censored).
- Your mama and your pop the same (censored),
(censored) you. (audience laughing)
- And your winner is Jess Hilarious.
(audience cheering)
The Michael Blackson version.
- Come on, come on.
- Your topic is wrestling. ♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm slamming in your mother ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I say I'm slamming your girl ♪
♪ I said I'm slamming your girl ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ Off the top rope ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ Tag team ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ Finish move ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm done ♪ (audience laughing)
(bell dings) - Come on.
- Your topic is Chi Town
Alright, come on, come on.
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ Yo, I play for the Bulls ♪
♪ I play for the Bulls ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ Goddamn it's cold ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I'm on the South Side ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ I fell asleep on Chi-Raq ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪
♪ That's Spike Lee's fault ♪
♪ Now you wild out ♪ (audience laughing)
- Goddamn. (bell dings)
- Get her J-Dog, get her. (audience cheering)
- All right, so, Remy Ma,
you have a song called "I Run New York."
Is that correct?
- Yeah, right.
- All right, and, so if you run New York,
can you please tell the them
to stop giving me all these tickets?
(audience laughing)
'Cause Wild N' Out is not paying me enough,
I can't really afford to keep paying them,
so, could you do something about them, please?
- Considering that my license is currently suspended,
I don't think I can help you.
(audience laughing)
(air horn honks)
♪ Hey, they represent the streets ♪
♪ The streets, hey ♪
♪ But she a beauty, he a beast ♪
♪ Two and a half years, it's so wild I'm out ♪
♪ On this show's the only time Nick be wildin' out ♪
♪ I'm a beauty and the beast ♪
♪ I be wildin' out ♪
♪ So keep your (censored) on a leash ♪
♪ Before I wild her out ♪
(audience laughing)
♪ I'm a beast ♪
♪ A beast as usual ♪
♪ Remy is a beauty, my wife's so beautiful ♪
♪ Hey they represent the streets ♪
♪ But she a beauty, he a beast ♪
♪ What they is ♪
♪ Beauty, beast ♪
(record scratches)
(audience cheering)
- Just sayin', I'm not having a good show.
Somebody said something to me to ruin my little day.
You the only one that can help me right now.
So, I mean after the show if you willing to give me
a little something something to make me feel better,
leave the water in your mouth.
(audience laughing)
I feel much better (laughing)
- What? What about, what about me?
What about me?
Leave your water in your mouth for me.
I'll catch it, I'll catch it right here.
Just go ahead, hold on.
(audience laughing)
- Spit. Spit on him.
- It's just like a water fountain.
Just let it just come on.
(audience cheering)
- Right here, go ahead.
Do it, do it, right here, do it.
You can do it, do it, do it. (audience cheering)
- You're doing great, I hope you guys win.
I love you. (audience laughing)
- Take your nasty ass back.
- Oh, she's good.
- All right, I got this, I got this.
♪ My daddy walked out of my life but he'll be back ♪
(audience laughing)
- I just wanted to be honest with y'all for a second,
you know, 'cause sometimes when I.
(audience laughing) (bell dings)
- Oh, oh! (audience laughing)
(audience cheering)
- Your word is luxury.
♪ Ah, yo, check it ♪
♪ Bobby Lights I do it so seductively ♪
♪ I bring them milkshake ♪
♪ That's why they always come from me ♪
♪ I always nail it like a hammer ♪ ♪ That's constructively ♪
♪ And everything I touch turns to gold ♪
♪ Now that's a luxury ♪
(audience cheering) (bell dings)
- Your battle is Nick versus Trick.
- Ball game.
- What up? Might as well call me a barber
'cause I'm about to cut up.
(audience cheering)
What was that? Uh huh, okay, shut up.
- Whoo. (audience cheering)
- Now Nick, this is your show and your team is funny,
that's one thing I know,
but being that I'm the Dade County mayor,
here's some (censored) I got to let you know.
- Okay?
- You don't know nothing (censored).
Don't represent like me, or say some (censored) like me,
No one has (censored) like me.
(audience cheering) (bell dinging)
♪ Pick up and kill it, and kill it, and kill it ♪
♪ I step on the scene and I'm always glowing ♪
♪ I'm from Miami where it's always snowing ♪
♪ It's always snowing, I know that I seen ya ♪
♪ I'm the hottest white girl, I'm called cayena ♪
♪ Called cayena, I got the heat ♪
♪ You know that my Papi is runnin' these streets ♪
♪ Runnin' these streets, yes I'm hustlin' (censored) ♪
♪ But please watch out, 'cause your team got some snitches ♪
- Who's the snitches?
(bell dings) (audience laughing)