- Hey everybody!
It's Thursday, and that means that,
if you're watching this video,
you're expecting me to answer questions
that you asked on Twitter using the hashtag #KatiFAQ,
and guess what?
I'm gonna do it, but today, instead of a journal topic,
because I've been giving you some
really hardcore journal topics,
I'm going to give you a joke instead,
because everybody needs a laugh,
and life is too serious sometimes,
so let's stop being serious.
But before we stop being serious, let's be serious,
because I have four questions, like I said.
And these are serious ones, okay?
So, question number one:
"Kati, what's the biggest warning sign of depression?"
Now, these questions are always kinda tricky,
because when people say, "what's the most common,"
or, "what's the biggest thing,"
or, "what's the first thing that comes about?"
Now, everybody's different,
and there isn't really something
that's the biggest warning sign.
I notice, when my clients,
before they'll actually say that they're depressed,
the one thing that'll be a red flag, to me,
is if they talk about things that they used to love to do,
like, they like to paint, or
they like to play tennis with their dad,
or whatever it is they that they do,
they like to bake, they like to, whatever.
If they, all of a sudden, talk about that
and I say, "Oh, I haven't heard you painting lately,"
or whatever, and they say,
"Oh, I just don't really enjoy that anymore,"
that is a big red flag.
I'm like,
(siren sounds)
Somebody's unhappy.
So, for me, the biggest warning sign is
when they don't enjoy activities that they used to enjoy.
But, there are a lot of symptoms of depression,
you can Google it and you'll see,
it's inner tension, it can be racing thoughts,
so it can be a lot of those anxiety components,
it can be sadness
and body aches
and lethargy,
not having any energy,
it can just be us feeling completely apathetic to anything,
not wanting to shower, not wanting to go see friends,
we can be isolating,
it can be a bunch of different things,
but the big red flag, to me,
is when we no longer enjoy activities that we used to enjoy.
So, good question.
Question number two:
"What is your opinion on foster care?
I will get taken from my mom and put in foster care
if I lose any weight or cut."
First of all, why would she do that?
Is that something that she's probably deciding to do?
Because you wouldn't be taken away from her
unless there's already an open case.
There's a lot of components around foster care.
But, if this is something that is
a potential option for you,
I don't even want to call it an option,
but it's something that could potentially happen,
be careful.
I mean, if we're older,
foster care can often times be something that we're just in
until we turn 18 and we go to college and it's all done.
But it's hard to get placed as we get older,
and my thoughts on foster care
is that it's a broken system.
In the states, for those of you not in the states,
if our parents pass away, or let's say,
our parents go to jail,
or if they're neglectful of us.
If I have to file a child abuse report,
you might be placed in foster care,
if you don't have a grandparent or aunt or uncle.
So, if this is the option for this particular person,
I would hope that you could contact an aunt, an uncle,
a grandma, a grandpa, a brother, a sister, anybody,
and go live with them until you turn 18,
because I know, in this particular case,
she's a little bit older, but foster care can be great.
I believe that there needs to be a lot of other things
in place to pick families,
and a lot of people do it to make money,
which makes me wanna throw up,
because they're so disgusting, people are terrible.
But it can be wonderful,
and a lot of people have had really good experiences.
I used to work at a home, a foster home, for teens,
parenting or pregnant teens,
but it was a very different experience,
because it wasn't an actual home,
it wasn't like my house, and you have a mom and a dad.
It wasn't like that, it was like, staff,
and we're there 24/7.
But, just be careful.
It can be really scary, and it can be bad.
Try not to, if you don't have to get into it,
don't get in the system.
It can be really hard to get out.
For any of you,
and the maim reason I actually want to answer this,
is so people can leave their experiences.
I know many of you have had experiences in foster care,
or know someone who has,
and can you share what's happened, what it's been like,
has it been good or bad,
because I only have the experiences of my clients,
and the experiences I've had working in the system.
So, that may be kind of a, you know, a skewed view,
and I want to give you the full spectrum
of what it can be like, okay?
Question number three:
"How do I get motivated?"
Everybody always wants to know this,
and, truthfully, it's something that
you're gonna have to figure out on your own.
I can't tell you how to get motivated.
What I can tell you is
that there is always something that we're passionate about.
A lot of us like music, a lot of us like art,
some of us really like numbers, and reading,
and science, or fashion, or whatever.
So, what is it?
Because that is what motivates you,
and if you set goals, small, little goals,
working toward what you're passionate about,
like, "I wanna get into this class with arts,
so that means I have to pass this one,
I have to get this amount of grade,"
or whatever.
Use that to keep you motivated, to get you out of bed,
to help you make friends and get out of your comfort zone
and go to class and do well.
We have to set those small goals.
So, figure out what it is that you're passionate about,
what you love to do,
and then let's start setting some goals.
Because that will keep us motivated,
because, other than that, there's nothing we can really do,
but getting help, seeing a psychiatrist or therapist,
can help with the depression,
if that's what's holding you back
and making you want to stay in bed.
Other than that,
we're gonna have to find what we're passionate about,
and we're gonna have to go get it.
Go get it.
Okay, question number four:
"Not sure if you did FAQ already,"
I hadn't, I caught this,
"but how would you get over the fear of grocery shopping?
For me, it's embarrassing."
This takes a lot of time.
I go grocery shopping with my clients pretty frequently,
and of all the times that I've learned,
or all the times that I've gone, I've learned.
That didn't make sense.
But all the times I've gone with them,
I've learned a lot of things.
Number one: have a list.
Don't go without a list.
You will spend hours there.
And hours.
Forever.
Have a list.
Don't look at the back of anything.
You pick a brand that you're familiar with, maybe.
I have taken clients who came out of
in-patients that I've worked in many times,
and I know what brands they have there, and I'll say,
"Let's stick to the brands that were at, you know,
the clinic," blah blah blah.
So we just grab it,
and the second I see them looking at the back,
or looking at some calorie counts or some ingredients,
I'm like, "We're done, we're done for today,
we've got some stuff, we're gonna leave."
Because you will spend forever,
so have a list. Grab quickly.
Go in and have a plan.
Don't go to a new grocery store
where you don't know where anything is.
Go to one that you know, go at a time that's not as busy,
Tuesdays and Thursdays tend to not be as busy.
Go in the early afternoon, if you can,
or in the morning, or late at night.
But go quickly. Have a list, go in, go out.
And when you're checking out, have something to do.
Have a game on your phone,
because that's the time that my clients get
the most stir-crazy
and they start looking in the bin
at all the stuff that's there,
and some things, their nutrition facts are showing,
and they're starting to read.
And I'm just like, "Let's just not do it."
So, I usually have them play Candy Crush
or something on their phone while we wait in line,
check out, go home.
Often times, I'll even help them
and we'll sharpie-out things.
And I will usually do it,
because once you've done it and seen it,
you already know.
And it just depends on your level of recovery,
but know that it's a process,
it's something that you'll have to try over and over again.
I know it's embarrassing, but, trust me, 100%,
people aren't noticing.
You're noticing, you're worried about it.
We always, we become kinda narcissistic
when we're in our eating disorder,
when we're out doing something we're uncomfortable with,
we think everybody notices that we're uncomfortable,
but they don't,
because they have their own narcissistic things,
and they're worried about them and what they're doing.
So, know that you can go, you can take your time,
no one's watching you, it's okay.
And if you have a therapist that will go with you,
go with her or him.
It's good, and I don't mind doing it.
I like grocery shopping, unlike a lot of you,
and so I find it really fun, so, yeah.
Okay, I hope that helps.
Now, the joke, the joke of today,
which I just thought it was too funny
and too dorky not to share.
Okay, what does a baby computer call its father?
Data.
(laughs)
It's a nerd joke, and I love it.
And if it was on a Laffy Taffy,
it would have been even better,
but it was in that movie "Her," that Joaquin Phoenix is in,
I saw a trailer the other day,
and I was like, that's awesome.
So, I hope that made you laugh,
if not, you can laugh at me now because I'm such a nerd.
I will see you all tomorrow on Facebook Friday,
so make sure you ask your questions,
and I'll be in Mammoth, so maybe a little earlier,
different times of the day,
so you might just want to ask your questions now
and make sure they get in.
Okay, love you all, bye!