>> Luree: It was difficult to talk to my classmates
about the struggles I was having,
because it seemed like the challenges
and the problems were coming easy to them.
Like the concepts were coming so quick and easy to them.
Almost like they had, like, engineering courses before,
like.
[upbeat music]
Hi, my name is Luree Brown.
I graduated from the
University of Michigan College of Engineering in 2012
with my Bachelor's of Science in Mechanical Engineering
with a concentration in manufacturing.
Kind of just wanted to come on and talk
about my mental health journey at U of M.
So I came from what I like to describe
as two single parent households.
My parents were never married
and did a pretty outstanding job co-parenting me.
I'm the first of my family to go to U of M.
It was pretty interesting transition.
Like, I went to a smaller high school,
like my high school class was only 206 students, I believe,
to being like in a big lake of U of M.
You come on and you're one of the smartest people
at your school, you know, higher GPA,
and then all of a sudden it's kinda like everybody is smart.
And is kind of hard academically,
just trying to get your footing at U of M because everybody
is the best and brightest and are competing for, you know,
a select number of spots and opportunities.
So my first year, I was doing okay the first semester.
I didn't take as many extracurricular activities.
I probably had about 12 credits.
And I believe I ended up getting like a 2.9
or 2.8 or something like that.
And I decided, well, you know,
I have a lot of free time,
so I might as well, you know, up my credit load,
up my extracurricular responsibilities.
It seems like I can manage all this.
And my GPA just ended up continuing to go in
the wrong direction, which was down.
It seems like as I got to my core engineering classes and
the harder calculus classes,
no matter how hard I worked
and how much more effort I was putting in,
I would stay in the The Dude till 4:00 a.m. by myself.
I would go to office hours and people will be so advanced
in office hours that I'll often sit closer
to the back of the room by myself and be like,
"How are these people getting to problem three
when I haven't even cracked problem one?"
And I began to get frustrated and not want to do my homework
in a timely fashion.
I didn't have the best time management skills.
Seemed like it should only take like an hour to do homework.
So I was only allotting that amount of time,
not understanding that sometimes homework
and engineering courses take a few hours.
It was difficult to talk to my classmates
about, like, the struggles I was having,
because it seemed like the challenges and the problems
were coming easy to them.
Like, the concepts were coming so quick and easy to them.
Almost like they had engineering courses before.
Like, I really didn't understand.
So I didn't think I was a bad student and I don't believe
that I was, you know, being irresponsible by like, you know,
partying or, you know, not focusing on schools.
I felt like I was working so hard.
I couldn't figure out how to improve my coursework,
my coursework outlook,
my grades just continued to drop.
And at that point I was, you know,
repeating classes in the summertime.
And while a lot of my friends were, you know,
doing internships or things of that nature,
and it's like, taking this class like two, three times,
and it got very frustrating,
'cause it's just like,
I'm not used to needing this much help.
Like, am I dumb?
Like, is it a fluke that I even got into U of M at all?
And when my parents would ask me like how I was doing,
I would just kind of say like, "I was fine."
I didn't want them to, you know, be disappointed in me.
I didn't want them to know that I was failing classes
and not really doing well.
They made a lot of sacrifices for me to, you know,
attend the University of Michigan.
So it was, you know, hard to express to anybody that,
hey, I feel like I'm drowning and I need some help.
I just remember I was in an orientation warmup class
for one of the summer camps,
and that was gonna be my summer job going
into my sophomore year and Angie Farrehi
was an academic advisor and she gave a presentation
about, you know,
how to tell if a student is deteriorating
and how to get them help and wellness.
And it was almost like she was reading my life,
like the presentation was about, you know,
not finding enjoyment in activities you used to enjoy,
not wanting to socialize, not eating,
not showering, not going to class,
not turning in assignments.
Just feeling like a zombie and you know,
staying in your room, you know, sleeping more,
eating junk food.
And it was just like, as she was reading off the list,
it was like, I was checking every box.
And I know even though the presentation
was for helping us to try to see this in students
that were coming,
high school students that were coming to campus,
it really resonated with me.
And it was like, oh my goodness, like, I need this.
I need, like, her help.
And I ended up, you know,
setting up a meeting and a one-on-one with her,
and just kinda like, you know, going through, you know,
this is the things I'm feeling and I'm not really sure
what to do.
So she sat me down and we wrote out my schedule
and she was like, "Okay, you know,
it's only 24 hours in the day
and it's only seven days in a week.
Let's write out your schedule
and let's plan out
what you do, like minute by minute, hour by hour."
And it got to the point where I had so much stuff going on,
I was in negative hours.
Like, I didn't have enough hours in the week
to continue to do, and that's why I was falling short.
So it was like, okay, what activities can you cut out?
What courses, you know, can you postpone taking?
Do you need to take, you know, 15, 18 credits?
That's quite a lot, you won't have time to study
for all these classes and do the homework assignments.
And so I kind of felt like, okay,
like I have a little bit more of a roadmap.
Things didn't turn around, like, immediately.
It was one particular class,
I think it was Calc 3 that I was failing so bad
that even if I took the final,
I would have to get like 180% on the final
to even pass the class.
So I remember I slept through it.
Like my girlfriend at the time,
she woke me up and was like, "Don't you have a final today?"
And I was like, "Yeah, but I'm not going."
And she's like, "Why?"
And I was like, "There's just no point.
Like, even if I took it and got every single thing right,
I still wouldn't pass the class."
So I already know I have to retake the class,
I might as well, you know, sleep.
It was frustrating,
but working with Angie,
at first we were setting up meetings, you know,
once a month.
And then we got to, like, once a week meetings
to just, like, check in and, you know,
go over things and how I was feeling
and how to explain to my friends and my parents
that I was needing help,
and my mental health was, you know, taking a toll.
We found that I'm really not a morning person.
I don't learn well in the morning.
I don't really operate in the morning still to this day.
I'm not a morning person.
So it was like, okay, no more morning classes.
Like I don't do well in the morning classes. I can't focus.
It wasn't that I was necessarily oversleeping,
but I would definitely be sleeping most of those classes.
So I was like, I'm not gaining anything from this.
Like, make sure that my academic advisor knows,
I need to take evening classes or afternoon classes
when my brain is actually functioning.
I worked more on my time management,
so I better was able to plan out, you know,
my travel schedule, how much time,
like, homework assignments would take.
If I did end up putting some extracurricular activities,
just to give myself a mental break,
like how much that was gonna take.
And if that was a weekly thing or a bi-weekly thing.
Angie also helped foster a conversation with my parents.
She kinda, like, brought them in and was, you know,
telling them, you know,
"This is how Luree is feeling and how she, you know,
is struggling and trying to overcome,"
and kinda set up a support system there
so that I wouldn't feel so much pressure
that I was disappointing them,
and how they could better support me.
And then she also, you know,
encouraged me to celebrate like my little wins,
like if I was eating better or if I was showering more,
if I was sleeping more regularly and going to bed
and, you know,
if I would do well on an assignment or do well on an exam,
like, starting to celebrate those little wins
and becoming more confident in class
and become more confident to raise my hand
and ask questions,
to get in the front of the line at office hours
to do my homework differently.
Like, hey, if I get stuck on a problem, go to the next one,
because problem three might be easier than problem one.
Some professors didn't necessarily shape
their homework assignments from, oh,
this is easiest to hardest,
like it was in high school.
So I just started finding, you know, my own support system,
my own people that I could, you know,
go to and ask for help.
A clique that I could, you know,
sit with in The Dude and meet with other students,
and we were able to, you know,
peer teach each other and learn off each other,
like, "Okay, I got concept A and you got concept B,
but you're struggling with concept A,
like, hey, if I help you, you'll help me,"
different things like that.
Started getting what I needed in office hours, you know,
started getting to my classes and staying awake
in my classes.
When I was struggling,
I still would be in front and I still would fall asleep.
But now I was in front, active, paying attention
and taking notes, you know,
doing all the things that I needed to do to gain momentum
and gain success.
And I started seeing, you know,
exams, midterms coming back with, you know,
passing grades, B's, then A's,
then final exams coming back with passing grades
and B and A's.
I was no longer repeating classes.
So it was like, you know, more and more momentum built up,
and it just became more of a joy,
like, even though classes were hard,
I was learning new skills on how to basically break
it down for myself,
learn the material that I needed to learn
so that I could make it through that class.
Even if I had no interest in the class,
like I don't like the class at all,
the professor is not engaging to me,
doesn't meet my learning style,
I would still figure out a way to manage
and leverage my support system
and the resources around me
so that I could get a satisfactory grade in those classes.
I think one of the things for me was
it kinda taught me within myself,
how to build a support system around me,
how to ask for help,
how to recognize when I'm not my best
and I'm not myself and how to, you know,
express that to others, like, what I necessarily need
and leverage my resources.
I think that has helped me in the long run.
I'm now a engineer at Ford Motor Company.
I launch new vehicles for Ford Motor Company.
A lot of my skills to build
those relationships I learned in college,
I use every day in work
or in nonprofit volunteer organizations,
philanthropic organizations.
I think I'm definitely a success story,
like, going from being on academic probation twice
to almost getting threatened to be kicked
out of the university for a semester
to ending up my last two or three semesters,
I was on the Dean's list.
And now that I'm in my career almost, you know,
10 years into industry,
nobody really asked me for my college GPA.
Like, my ticket is kinda written for me.
I graduated from the University of Michigan
and I have a lot more experience and knowledge
and understand what it takes to work hard and,
you know, dig deep and move the needle forward.
I guess if I would give you advice about what to look for,
just start checking in with yourself and saying like,
"Hey, like, does something not feel right?
Did something not feel normal?"
You get into a mode where you think like, "It's just me.
Like, I must be dumb.
I must be the only one struggling."
And I'm here to tell you, it's not just you,
it's a lot of people who struggle in silence.
And it's a lot of people who,
even though they look successful on the outside,
are beating themselves up on the inside.
I want to tell you that the University of Michigan
and especially the College of Engineering
has a lot of resources.
If you are feeling that way, and if you need help,
whether it's, you know,
academic success partners or academic advisors,
there's a lot of organizations,
just in between Pierpont and The Dude
that you can reach out and you can get help.
There's a lot of people at the University of Michigan
that want you to succeed and want to see you graduate
and want to see you change the world.
So definitely don't be afraid to, you know,
even reach out or, you know,
go to go to a meeting or raise your hand and say,
"Hey, I need some type of help.
There is no way that I can, you know,
make it through this on my own."
You have to be okay with asking for it
and potentially receiving it,
because University of Michigan is hard.
And it's hard for a reason.
When people say leaders and best,
it's a reason why we are the leaders and the best of
the world is because, you know,
it's a grueling curriculum that some people
just don't make it out of.
And I don't want you to necessarily be part of
that group of people that don't make
it out of University of Michigan,
especially when there's a lot of, you know,
untapped resources there available to help you
and your mental health.
So with that, I just want to say, you know,
good luck on your future endeavors.
Definitely reach out to your support system
and just know you're not alone.
There is a group of people who have done this,
who have been through this and are successfully
on the other side.
So I hope you learned something from my story.
And I hope you take the time to, you know,
get the help you need.
And as they say, go blue, baby.
[upbeat music]