Hey just a heads up,
Don't get too attached to any of the hamsters
mentioned in this video.
Cause they're all DEAD (RIP)
and I would say that no hamsters were harmed in the making of this video.
Well I mean no hamsters were harmed while I made this video.
They're all still dead.
But some hamsters...
They got harmed...
Just keep watching!
If there's anything I've learned that the internet just loves is stupid drama and cute animals.
So I'm gonna talk about all the cute hamsters I've
Enslaved...
Our family enslaved quite a lot
It was my twin sister who really wanted a pet hamster and bugged my mom to get one.
and my mom being super nice, bought her the cage and we bought everything else.
Including a little black hamster.
We named him Squeaks.
And he liked to do this really cute thing where he put his food in his hamster wheel, it was made of plastic. so he could do that.
And then late at night he would just run in it and it would sound like...
*Sound of grains going super fast on a plastic wheel*
It was like a more annoying maraca!
I actually made a comic on paper inspired by this hamster
Smart friend of guy in comic : Wow, you got a hamster?
Other guy in comic: Yeah, but he doesn't do much
Smart friend of guy in comic: Well, yeah. This type of hamster is nocturnal
Other guy in comic: Really? That means I'll hardly notice him!
And then at night he's trying to sleep but the hamster is loud and it's keeping him awake and the joke is that he said he'd hardly notice him and he's noticing him.
It's not that funny!
And I need to tell you about a dog that we have named Georgie
And actually a little fun fact about Georgie
She was born on Election day of 2004
Which is a much cooler holiday to have a birthday on, it only comes once every 4 years
It's like leap year... It's more rare
So since George W Bush won the 2004 election we named our dog Georgie after him!
Awwwww!
Also means her 12th birthday was on the second
I definitely won't be able to get this video out by that time, but still...
♪Happy birthday to you!♬ Yay!
So Georgie can get the birthday 'cause it's her birthday and Poppy can get the girl... Because it's... she's a girl
Do you like it?
Wonder if this tastes good *Tastes it* *Sound of disgust*
James did you eat it?!
This is a huge waste of money...
Anyway back to rodents, this dog just loved to murder these animals
Well I don't know if murder's the right word
No, murder's the right word!
You have to understand that Georgie is a west highland terrier.
And that breed is known for hunting small animals
So having Georgie and a hamster in the same house...
Doesn't mix well
We had this little plastic hamster ball that we put Squeaks in sometimes
The first time we put Squeaks into his plastic ball, my older brother bowled him (like an idiot)
Like a bowling ball
Peta don't sue me, I was vegan for a week
And Georgie thought it was a treat just for her, a treat with a hard outer shell and a juicy middle
She would go straight up rabid wolf on that hamster ball
We didn't put Squeaks inside his hamster ball after that
But there's even more to say about this hamster
One day, me and my sister came home from school and Squeaks was just gone!
He escaped!
EVERYONE CHECK YOUR POCKETS!!!
We looked everywhere and we couldn't find him
We had to keep a close eye on Georgie at all times
My sister put up missing posters around the house. I don't know if those helped
We made these traps out of Duplo
Did anyone else's parents get them Duplo instead of legos
No? Only my parents were that lame, alright
We built this box thing out of Duplo and we made these stairs going up to the top of the box
And we put lettuce on each step and the plan was that the hamster would walk up the stairs and fall in the box.
Because they're stupid
But the traps never worked
And all the hamster's we got in the future also escaped
We made the same traps and not once did they ever work
4 days... Squeaks was missing for 4 days
We found his body...
Inside the wall...
He was alive!
My dad was sitting on the couch relaxing, it was dead quiet and he just heard the faintest
*scratching noises*
Squeaks was inside the wall! We think he got in through our laundry chute
I don't know what I would do if my kid's hamster was inside the wall of my house
Well kids, now it's an important time I teach you about death.
My dad ended up cutting three holes in the wall and lured Squeaks out with some lettuce
Poor thing... He was probably starving
Hopefully he kept some extra food in his cheeks
So even getting tormented by the dog and getting stuck in a wall for 4 days
Squeaks still lived fullfilling 2 years of life
Hamsters dont't have that long a lifespan
He buried him in the backyard
After the Squeaks Dynasty, we got some more hamsters
Squeaks II that was the next one
We thought maybe if we introduce Squeaks II to Georgie, then they could be friends and get along
I'll spare you the details of what happened that night
The next one we named Killer because he kept biting us, so get it? Killer?
Yeah he ended up getting killed...
Nah! He wasn't killed, he lived a normal, long hamster life
Squeaks II was killed though... I don't know if you picked up on that
We bought these 3 Little Hamsters and seriously they're the most adorable little things
They looked like this!
I forgot their names, we'll just call them the 3 Amigoes
Awwww!
The lady at the pet store told us that if we bought hamsters from the same litter, they would all get along
She was obviously trying to sell us more hamsters or maybe she didn't have any siblings
But these bros just hated each other
They would never stop fighting!
As I was writing the script for this, I thought maybe they're just aggressively playing
So I googled 'do hamsters play with each other? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
And the first thing that showed up ' dwarf hamsters (which is what the 3 Amigoes were) are quite territorial and will not see former cagemates as old friends'
They see them as threatening rivals
So there you go "you really know your hamsters lady!"
So we had to get the three, three different cages for them
We put them next to each other and I swear they still gave each other some death glares
I actually made a video a long time ago about this time I broke one of their cages
I was cleaning it outside and for whatever reason I was just like "huh I wonder if I can stand on it"
The answer? NO
The glass broke and I bled everywhere!
I still have the scar of my foot
And then all the 3 Amigoes died off... one by one...
Sorry I'm getting really emotional
We also had this other hamster named Buddy, I wasn't gonna mention him because Buddy escaped and we never found him
Except as my mom was reading over the script, because she reads over my scripts, thanks mom <3
She turned to me and said ' Did we ever tell you what happened to Buddy?'
And I said "What do you mean?"
She said "You know how we couldn't find him, well we did, but the dog got to him first"
This time I wanted to buy a hamster and I saw some that were on sale
And there was this piece of paper next to the cage that said 'PLEASE ADOPT US!'
OH SHOOT! I'll take one of these puppies!
No, no, no! Not an actual puppy, I meant one of the hamsters.
And I named her Pumpkin seed because she was that tan pumpkin seed colour
But then one month after I got her, she just died! For no reason
Even though, I loved her, she had food and water
This wasn't the first time I was taking care of a hamster OK?
All the other ones lived for a couple of years
I was so sad, I totally got gypped!
No wonder they're on sale, they're halfway to death's door!
I mean I only had the hamster for a month, I-I didn't get that emotionally attached to it
But then later, I got a different hamster, that I paid full price for.
And I named her Gumball
Unlike all the other hamsters that were technically my sister's
This hamster was all mine. She didn't have anything dramatic happen to her
She had a good hamster life
I was pretty sad when Gumball died
We lavished these hamsters OK?
We loved them, at least... My sister did...
She cried when they died and made little gravestones for them.
Our mom always said ' there's no point in being a skinny hamster!'
She gave them ALOT of treats
So much so that it got to the point that the hamster would come out looking for my mom just by the sound of her voice
All and all, there are around 7 dead hamsters buried in our backyard
RIP in piece little bros
*singing* Oh say! Can you see?
*James keeps singing his beautiful song*
Were any of your pet hamsters brutally murdered by your dog? Tell me in the comment box below
Thanks for watching, sorry you had to hear me sing, man Georgie turned 12 this month
What is that? 200 in human years?
I have this kinda quick story to make to make this end card longer
But one time, I was with some group of people that I didn't know too well
And I was talking to someone about how Georgie was named after George W Bush
And after i told him that, he said "Oh I'd kill that dog!"
Alright man that was a pretty weird thing to say
Before I say wear a seatbelt, I just wanna say "hi!" to Jacob, Josh and Carsen
Alright that's all wear your seatbelt ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
And now for the present!
*squeaky toy noises*
Anyway this is what you like to do to hamsters *SQUEAKING INTENSIFIES!*