Hey guys!!!
I'm about to head to the Philippines, uh in a couple of days
So I'm like really, we're like rushing to get this video done
I apologise if there's been like a little delay
I'll try and post this out there when I'm in the Philippines
but I have no idea when I'm gonna have time to do that based on our schedule out there
I'm in the Philippines, I'm going to the Philippines
...or I just came back from the Philippines. So,
Mabuhay, Mabubye!
okay...what am I doing?
Welcome back to another Dear Ryan!
That's not how I start these!
I need a Dear Ryan theme song, somebody make me a Dear Ryan theme song
I should make my own Dear Ryan theme song.
♪It's Dear Ryan♪
♪eh-eh♪
That sounded like a Michael Jackson song.
*BURP*
So for those of you that haven't watched my draw my life
And for those of you that don't know
Since I was 5 years old I did Judo my whole life.
Growing up when I did Judo, everybody's like, why?
Why couldn't you take Karate, or like Taekwondo
Judo was never a popular sport.
Only up until recently since the rise of like Ronda Rousey
Judo has even been considered like a legit sport, I feel like.
Sean and I are actually both black belts in Judo
Crazy right? Doesn't mean we're any good at it.
But we both have our black belts.
We may have coloured our white belts with Sharpies, black belts nonetheless.
Call Sean Fujiyoshi.
Yo, I'm doing a Dear Ryan right now, can I, umm...
Can I throw you?
Like, Judo throws?
*giggles*
Alright! *laughs*
Alright, here we go, I guess.
Of course for the really advanced,
You Like my butt? Wha?
And last but not least...
See?
If you got Judo techniques like this you ain't gonna be afraid of anyone.
Not even Ronda Rousey.
That's right, Ronda.
I'm callin' you out publicly.
I'll take you out anytime, anyplace, anywhere you want to--
What did you say?
--go to...dinner.
I-I'll take you out to dinner anytime anyplace anywhere
My treat!
That's what I thought.
Maybe even go to a bar.
After, I actually own a bar
I'd love to have you in it, it's called the arm bar.
I break your arm.
OH YOU'RE DEAD
[gasp] Quick! YamahaMotor-Gatame!
Get it? It's a human, p & o.
Human piano.
People are always asking me about
I feel like I've explained it before
But I looked through my videos and I don't think I actually have...
...so I'm gonna do this one.
This scar, look how big this scar is right here.
And a scar right here actually.
I was getting attacked by ninjas one day and...
*sigh* I'm not even gonna bother.
This is a true story.
It's not a story I'm necessarily proud of.
When I was 6 years old, I was in the first grade I remember...
I was riding my bike with a bunch of my neighbourhood friends...
...you know at the time there was this stunt, dare-devil guy
called Evil Kanival
If you guys don't who he is
He did a bunch of crazy stunts on his motorcycle
And basically I wanted to be him. I thought that was like the coolest thing in the world.
There was a few of my neighbourhood friends and we were all riding our bikes
On my street, there's this gigantic ditch.
I would say, about a 6 foot, 6 and a half foot drop.
And out of nowhere...
I rode my bike, straight towards the ditch
Tried to lift up the handle bars, tried to do a backflip and land
But it did not quite go that way.
So instead I did [chuckles]
...kind of like a half backflip then halfway through towards the end I was like...
OH MY GOD
I'M GONNA FALL
But instead of bailing, I turned sideways
And basically I landed exactly on this arm, and completely broke my arm.
I got it casted, and apparently I don't know, something went wrong with the casting
So by the time I was in high school, I kept having these wrist issues.
Like everytime I just bent it a little, it started to hurt.
When they got it x-rayed they realised
that, you know from that first injury
My arm got messed up.
What they had to do because this bone was longer
What they had to do was they had to CUT
All the way through the bone and take out a chunk of bone
To make this bone shorter.
That's why there's big slices there.
And then what they did is they went in and they attached a metal rod to the two bones
So that the bones would heal properly.
And then they put another metal rod in here.
You know, I had metal in my arm for like, 2 years
There's some metal actually still in there.
I was actually really self-conscious about this
I used to always like wanna wear long sleeve shirts
There's nothing you can do about it. It couldn't, it could be worse
You could have a scar on your FRIKIN NOSE
wait...
You want me to go to hell FIRST and then kill myself?
That doesn't make any sense! How do you even do that?
'cause if you're in hell you're already dead. Can you even kill yourself in hell?
There's no way you can go to hell if you're still alive. That doesn't make ANY sense...
unless...
[gasp]
OH MY GOD THIS IS HELL
Seriously though.
uhm......
I don't know how to do that. [chuckles]
My rapping is basically 5th grader poetry.
I just look for words that rhyme as fast as I can
And then I just, even if doesn't make sense I'll just say it. [chuckles]
That's how I freestyle
...but I'm just gonna go for it.
[AHEM]
Yo, I'm sitting right here, doing this Dear Ryan
Call me MGM, 'cause Imma straight lyin'. To you.
When I say that I'm making this up.
I got all the lyrics written out on the back of this cup.
I'm just kidding there's nothing really on there.
In fact, I already did this Dear Ryan
I don't even know why it's still here.
I'll tell you why, because I'm lazy.
I'm a bit crazy.
When I open my eyes big you got sunflowers I got daisies!
That made no sense.
Because I need to buy time now...dot dot dot...
OK
Okay, now I know how this rap's gonna end.
I'm just gonna keep rhyming words that end with "n"
Like abbreviation, and condensation
On a scale from one to ten, IGN
Raised a ten out of ten
And for all of y'all who don't think I'm really rapping
For all of y'all that don't think I'm really freestyling
You're right. I'm not.
I've got all the lyrics on the back of this cup
*laughs* Oh my god that was so bad
Okay I was, I was, I was freestyling
But the- I-I I'm not good
I'm sorry, I'm sorry guys
To all the real rappers out there
That was such an insult, I'm sorry guys
*sigh* You guys have no idea how difficult it is to work with Marley
Cool.
That doesn't even sound like dubstep
Dubstep sounds more like...