Just film from the waist up.
Waist up, waist up
Today, we are at the oldest Scotch whisky distillery
in the world.
For today’s field trip, Josh and I had dressed as Geography teachers
And so we met up with our guide, Julian,
who it turned out was a literal encyclopaedia of whisky knowledge
And here you have some beautiful sherry, big butts.
Big butts?
Ollie knows all about that.
Let’s go to the restaurant.
I didn’t know I had a big butt.
Reeling from the news that I have a big butt
But reassured by all of the whisky facts I’d just received.
We headed up into the bar to sample some of the good stuff
- I mean, this guy is, - I like my whisky.
- A world expert in whisky. - That’s not true at all.
I am a lowly whisky peasant.
He is a whisky king.
Ok
After a few drinks the manager Emilio came over
And offered to open up their ultra exclusive restaurant early, just for us.
We asked if we could film and to our amazement, they agreed.
So I picked up my big butt and accompanied Josh to what would be
our poshest date yet.
In the pandemic, you insisted on treating me to lots of Michelin star meals.
Context is important here.
Gabie was like, "Please, stop."
And you were like, "No, I really want to treat him."
Didn’t happen.
Wow.
Tapioca pearls with the oysters.
It's like a bubble oyster.
If we weren't in a very well respected establishment,
I would not volunteer to eat that.
It looks like alien food. Give that to E.T.,
probably freaking love it.
How do you eat oysters? I've never eaten an oyster.
- You're lying. - I'm not lying.
Just like this, straight away.
That is...
That is divine. That is lovely.
That is very, very good.
The tapioca just slips straight down.
- I didn't even taste it. - I feel like I'm the only sane person here.
That is terrifying.
I don't want Emilio to see me doing it wrong.
This is going to be quite a shot, that is a big oyster.
It’s one of the biggest oysters I’ve ever had.
Swallow it, don’t chew. Just swallow it.
It’s too big to swallow.
Ok, chew a little bit and swallow.
It's lovely. Thank you so much.
It’s his first time trying oysters, I can't believe it.
How is it?
They’re lovely.
Absolutely lovely.
I wish my wife was here.
She's going to be so jealous when she sees this.
- You alright? - Yeah, no, I'm fine.
Feeling any reaction coming on?
Well, there is some kind of reaction.
That was one of the nicest oysters I’ve ever had.
There are worse than that?
Shut up.
Oh, this looks amazing.
Oh, wow.
That’s delicious.
And here we have lamb, mutton.
Oh, my goodness.
What is mutton?
What do you mean, "What's mutton?"
- It's sheep, sheep meat. - What about lamb?
It's not lamb.
- Lamb I presume is young... - Is mutton old sheep?
Older lamb.
So what's the cutoff point?
Is it like school age?
I'm not a butcher.
I don't know, you know about this stuff.
You’ve tried oysters.
That’s a low bar. That is a low bar.
Wow, look at that,
That is something else.
All in one?
It’s got its own little garden all around it.
Different textures.
It's so beautiful.
All in one.
Wow.
What on earth is going on in my mouth?
Wow, the flavour... Oh my!
I feel like I’ve eaten a whole meadow,
- It’s unbelievable. - Literally...
In my mind, I entered Willy Wonka’s factory
and I did a full tour before opening my eyes again.
Incredible.
Never tasted anything like that.
Is that a different kind of oyster?
Fantastic!
I had my first ever oyster roughly five minutes ago.
I’m literally hot, I’m sweating.
Are you ok?
The seafood flavour is…
Strong!
It’s incredible, though.
Yeah, incredibly strong!
No, it’s good. It's good. It's good.
How do you suggest we eat this, Emilio?
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh, it’s like a grenade.
- Didn’t expect that answer. - It’s like a Michelin star grenade.
Yeah. Yeah.
Quietly 'cause I don’t want to disturb the other guests.
That was one of the nicest things I’ve ever put in my mouth.
That was insane.
I don’t really have words.
It tasted exactly how I thought it was going to taste,
and that was unlike anything else I’ve ever had.
I’m genuinely at a loss for words.
Do you do those in a multipack?
Stop!
It’s not Diet Coke, Ollie.
That was one of the nicest things I’ve ever eaten,
I feel like we should just go home.
You can't top that.
- Unbelievable. - The texture of it...
- It was kind of like… - was beautiful.
And everything on top, just...
Wait, what’s this?
Is that just bread?
Because that’s the most beautiful loaf of bread I’ve ever seen.
So, this is like whisky bread?
I’ve eaten bread in a lot of restaurants over the years.
I’ve never seen anything like this before.
It smells incredible.
It smells sweet on the outside.
- What? - Molasses and beer reduction.
Wow.
I mean, that's incredible.
Honestly,
I think that’s my favourite thing that we’ve had so far.
Classic. Bread lover.
Wait, why is everyone shaking their head?
- Oh wow. - Is that a taco?
That is amazing.
This is…
Next level.
Gabie is gonna be livid.
Wow.
Yup, it’s the best taco I’ve ever had.
The thing is langoustine, I just didn’t know what it would be like raw.
I don’t know what langostiune is.
It’s a type of lobster, isn’t it?
It's a type of lobster?
This is like when I go to the mechanic,
and they’re telling me what’s wrong with the car
And I’m like, "Sure, just do it."
That’s incredible. That biscuit!
How do you make biscuits out of lobster?
Oh, that’s why it has that very distinct...
Make it from the shells?
That’s even more amazing than I could have imagined it would be.
Wow, I like that a lot.
Wow!
Josh has just given up on words entirely.
It’s just a perfect combination of textures.
It’s perfect. How could you improve on that?
It’s one of the nicest desserts I’ve ever had in my life.
It may be the nicest.
Just unbelievably good.
You look like you're about to cry.
- Unbelievably good. - It's quite emotional.
It’s insanely good.
The chocolate. The ice cream.
The layers.
The mil-foie gras, whatever it is.
Foie gras! It’s definitely not foie gras.
I don’t know what to say. It's unbelievably good.
I don’t think we’ve ever been so stunned into complete speechlessness.
It’s not helping that no one else is talking.
Probably not.
Wow!
It looks like a puzzle box.
It’s incredible.
Look at that. Oh, my goodness.
- Oh my! Wow. - Wow!
Where do they get these boxes from?
Sweetie box.
This is how the President carries around his sweets.
That’s cool.
Chocolates. Aerated chocolates. Look at that.
That is the fanciest Aero that you have ever seen.
Oh, my gosh.
You don’t even need to chew, it just melts.
It literally just melts.
These chocolates are unreal.
This one's whisky chocolate.
Is there whisky in there?
Really?
Taste it.
Proper whisky cream inside.
It’s really intense.
Oh, my gosh. So intense.
This one's very slimy.
- Oh, gummies. - Look at that.
So this is a wine gum made with real wine.
Oh, you can taste the wine.
Wow, it's quite strong.
Immediately, this has been such an experience, it’s gonna be very hard to top that ever!
Well, that has been Michelin madness, IRL.
We tried it probably because you can't.
I think I just need to go lie down and process what just happened.
And also digest what just happened to us.
On that note.
- See you JOLLY soon. - See you JOLLY soon.
The guys didn’t believe us.
Our crew, we left a few things for them to try.
Their immediate reaction was like,
"Oh my gosh! You guys were underplaying how good this is!"
- My brain is on fire. - Joel's freaking out.
Joel's freaking out.