-Welcome back, guys. It is time for "Tonight Show Hashtags."
Here we go.
♪ -Hashtags ♪
♪ Hashtags ♪
-We do this thing every week where I send out a hashtag
and ask you guys to respond to that topic.
So since Mother's Day is this weekend,
I sent out the hashtag #MomQuotes
and asked you guys to tweet out a funny or weird thing
your mom has said.
Within minutes, it was a trending topic.
So thank you for playing along with us.
We love it when you guys play along.
Now I'd like to share some of my favorite
mom quotes from you guys.
I was just thinking about one of my mom's stories I had.
I was in the hospital because I had --
my finger almost got ripped off.
So I was in the ICU for like 10 days.
My mom came to visit.
You know, I had oxygen all over --
something happened with this hand.
It was all bandaged up. This one has tubes everywhere.
My mom comes in, and she puts a giant bag
of individually wrapped Life Savers on my chest.
[ Laughter ]
What kind of sick torture is this?
[ Laughter ]
She goes, "I actually got them for me.
That's my favorite, Life Savers."
You bring your own snacks to go visit someone at the hospital?
[ Laughter ]
Unbelievable. -Individually wrapped.
-This one's from -- first one's from @edwardschmidtii.
He says, "My mom can never get the name Papa John's correct.
The most famous names she's said
were Magic Jack's and Dr. Domino's."
[ Laughter and applause ]
Magic Jack's?
Let's get pizza from Magic Jack's.
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @helloclaryyce.
-Hmm. [ Slurps ]
-She says, "Every time we'd watch a VHS
when I was growing up, it said
'This film has been modified to fit your screen.'
My mom would say, 'How did they know how big our TV was?'
Every time." [ Laughter and applause ]
-Good point.
-This one is from @bdwaybrooke.
She says, "Someone annoyed my mom in the grocery store.
So she said to them, 'Excuse me.
Can you please tell me what aisle the manners are in?'"
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah! -"Savage moment."
[ Cheers and applause ] -Nice. Savage.
-Can you tell me what aisle the manners are in?!
-Mm! [ Laughter ]
-That's the way my mom would act when she was --
She would over-pronounce words.
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @steveaustin1984.
He says, "One time my mom texted me, 'Where is your phone?'"
[ Laughter and applause ]
When I find it, I will let you know.
[ Laughter ] -Do you have it?
-This next one is from the very funny friend of ours,
Mike Birbiglia. -Ah.
-He says, "When I was in my parents' local paper,
'The Cape Cod Times,' my mom said,
'There must not be a lot going on.'"
[ Laughter ] "Thanks, Mom."
[ Applause ]
-Thanks, Mike's mom. -Slow news day.
-This one is from @marisarosie22.
She says, "I told my mom she was invading my personal space,
and she said I came out of her personal space."
[ Laughter ]
"I just looked at her and said okay."
[ Applause ]
-Wow! That's -- That's just -- -Not bad.
-That's a savage burn.
-This one is from @orangefloyd.
She says, "When my 90-year-old mom was in the hospital
last year, I asked if any of her friends had contacted her,
and she said, 'No, all my friends suck.'"
[ Laughter and applause ]
She's 90 years old.
-They do. -All my friends suck.
This last one's from @itsmelpresta.
She says, "I was taking my mom for a drive
through the neighborhood I was moving into when she shouted,
'Wow, that La Fitness gym is huge.'
It's L.A. Fitness, Mom. I love you so much."
There you have it. Those are our "Tonight Show Hashtags."
To check out more of our favorites,
go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.