I like watching The Politics Show.
I don't even do drugs when I watch that, you know,
because it's interesting.
It's things that you need to know, don't you think?
Can I still vote, now? No, it's done.
And who is it? Theresa May. She's got it?
No, get away.
Will you be safe as well?
I will be, I'm all right. Love you. Love you.
I'm physically all right. Mentally, fucking hell,
that's a question to fucking ask.
She's been a big, big help over the last few days,
do you know what I mean? If it hadn't have been for her
I wouldn't have nowhere to stay. I'd have been homeless.
Do you know, I've had this drug problem 12, 13 year,
picking's something I've never done, never had a problem with,
and then this last couple of month I've developed this picking problem,
and the only thing I can put it down to is pure amounts of stress.
I'm sitting here on my own, fucking two, three hours,
sat there, fucking doing this to my face,
and it doesn't help with works, you know.
Some people are going to look
and think that it's some sort of fucking infection
or cold sores or something.
They're not going to think, oh,
she's done that to herself through picking by smoking drugs, are they?
They're going to think it's some sort of infection.
It looks absolutely horrendous.
Look what I've done to myself. Would you think that was picking?
Someone would think I'd fallen or something with that, wouldn't they?
That's what I've done to myself.
What's up, babe? Are you all right?
Sure? Are you eating and that?
Are you sure, Poppy?
And you're all right where you are, yeah?
You've got clothes and everything, yeah?
Do you want a fag, Babs? Here, darling.
As we're walking down the street, she's kind of turned round and said,
'Please help me, you look after me, baby,
"you've looked after half the girls.
"Cos you're like the mummy out on the beat."
She didn't mean to say, like, "Oh, well, you're old,
"so you're the mum of the beat",
she kind of just meant, "Oh, you're the mummy".
To say that I've only been here between eight and ten years,
I do know a hell of a lot of them.
Baby, listen, he's a 40-quidder, him - grab him if you can.
Him, yes - silver car, Bobby.
All right, take care, baby.
Be careful.
Bless her.
I'd seen Bee, bumped into her, erm,
down at work several weeks ago,
and I don't know the full reason why she lost her flat that she had,
but I found out, she told me, she was stopping in a hotel up the road
which is fucking 40 quid a night, which is expensive, innit?
So I said to her, well, you can stop at mine,
so she started coming round...
..and she was stopping.
She wasn't stopping every single night, but she was, like...
You know, like, stopping one night, then not the next, then stopping.
It was quite nice, I didn't mind,
I actually quite enjoyed her coming round,
cos it was a bit of company for me
and Bee is very...
unlike most of the girls down there. She's...
Well, she feels like your bloody mother.
She's got some sensibility.
I feel like I can trust Bee as well.
I feel like that I could leave money on the side there
and go to the toilet
and it would still be there.
With Bee, you get the feeling like she's not going to...
She's pretty trustworthy.
That's something very rare to find in people down here, very rare.
I like making scrambled egg.
Everyone does it different, don't they?
Everyone has their own way of making things.
Mine's like this, I'll show you now.
Whisk the yolk last.
Whisk all the egg whites first.
With the milk, butter and salt.
My grandad showed me, the very first time, how to make scrambled egg,
when I was about seven.
Six, seven. He showed me how to do it in a pan.
I don't like it in a pan.
I think it goes too dry.
Look how fluffy that's gone now, look.
Can you see?
It wouldn't have done that if you'd put your yolks in with it.
Like, you know, together.
Because the yolk would have been too heavy in it.
If that makes sense.
Yous would have loved my grandad.
You know, if you met him.
He was amazing, but he was a little bugger.
He used to write me notes, right -
you know, knick off school so I could go and chill at his.
Look how fluffy that's going.
Fluffy and pearly cream colour.
I was quite relieved to hear the news
that she'd gone into prison, to be honest,
because I thought, in there, she's got a fighting chance, you know...
And she did, yeah. ..of getting off the drugs,
you know, and then when she comes out we can start afresh,
you know, we can start again.
It's just a second chance, isn't it?
Well, going back, about five, fifth, sixth chance,
but, you know, I'm ready to start
building a relationship with my boys again
and starting afresh and living a proper life, a normal life.
Without having to worry about where my next tenner bag is coming from
or anything like that.
Every time it goes like that and then he moves...
Moved away from Leeds, that was the best thing for me to do.
If I'd have stayed there I'd just have probably gone back
to what I was doing before.
They wouldn't put me on a methadone programme in prison,
so I just started to do my rattle, basically, a lot on its own.
Had no sleep, the whole four weeks I was in there.
It was hard, it was horrible,
but I did it, do you know what I mean?
Well, I had no choice but to do it.
It's been hard trying to accept people to help me.
Adele, honey?
Just come to make sure you're all right, love.
No answer, sweetie.
She could be on a depression,
on a downer.
You worried about her? Yeah, a little bit.
I haven't seen her for days.
I do worry, do you know what I mean, that girls go missing, or...
Do you know what I mean? That they get depressed,
especially when they're using.
Do you know what I mean? And Adele hasn't got her family
and her friends around.
Since she's got a place, she's kind of hibernating in it.
She'll only go out
when she needs to go and get a bit of money for her stuff.
I think it's the first time she's had her own home as well,
and she's only still young, isn't she,
even though she's got kiddies herself,
she's still, like, just coming out of her teenage years,
coming into young mum, really, isn't she?
I don't know what it is, but lately I feel...
I've just been feeling proper down and shitty...
and I feel like I've dropped into a fucking hole and got myself stuck
and I'm really fucking struggling to get back out.
When anyone knocks on my door I'm feeling, like,
first thought I get is,
"Oh my God, oh no - hide, be quiet", do you know, ignore it,
and feeling like I can't cope with talking to anyone.
And the only time I'm socialising
or having company with anyone
is the customers.
And it's not, erm...
the sort of company I want, you know what I mean?
You want to maybe have a coffee and a chat.
But obviously all they're interested in is sex, sex, sex, sex,
sexual activities.
That's what it's all about, 24/7.
It's all about that, and nothing but that.
I was in prison, and Sammy Jo was next door to me.
I didn't know that she was a working girl at the time.
I was six and a half months pregnant,
and I got a bit of pain
and I ended up giving birth that, like, evening.
She was the one to bang onto the cell door, her cell door,
shouting to the officers and ringing her buzzer,
saying she's got the baby in her arms.
I gave birth to my stillborn baby.
Sammy Jo kind of kept my mind occupied.
Talking through the window every day.
She'd make sure till late at night, saying, "You all right? You OK?"
Now I've got four children, three boys and one girl.
I've had nine births, nine children.
I've buried a few of my children.
My last one was my oldest that I buried, he was 13.
A little boy.
It's still a bit awks, I've never spoke about it.
And that's when my life just tumbled back down.
I can't talk to my family, because we don't talk.
Not like that, any more.
It's just...split everything.
They say that death brings people together.
It didn't us.
It separated us up.
And, really, sometimes you just need someone to grab hold of you
and give you a big old love and a big old shake,
and say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
I'm back on my own now. Like, I've not got anybody round me.
I'm not having to supply anybody yet.
I'm not having to pay somebody to be with me no more.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't have to fund somebody's habit just to be with me.
So I'm on my own.
Cos you've talked about getting clean and stuff?
Yeah, that's the number one thing for me.
What is? Getting clean, getting myself back to me.
Getting my life back.
Is that in the realms of possibility?
Most definitely. And now, I think, I'm on my own,
I think I've got more of a chance as well.
I've not got people around me doing drugs,
so it's cut out that temptation sort of thing, do you know what I mean?
I've got more of a chance now, now that I'm on my own.
I've definitely got more of a chance.
Just going to go down to the Co-op
so I can buy some milk, some pop
and I'll probably get some sweets and stuff for my nephew.
It would have been going through my head, "I've got to go and score."
But now, because I don't want to score and I don't need to score,
I'm able to go and buy what food I need to cook a dinner.
It feels a lot better, cos I'm able to live a normal life for a change
and do normal things, like going to the shops to buy groceries
and stuff that I need.
It's just... Yeah, it just feels normal for a change.
Everything's just going back to how it used to be.
Now I'm living here, I don't know anybody round here,
so it's like a fresh start for me.
So I don't bump into people each and every day who are taking drugs,
and... Do you know what I mean?
So it is a complete turnaround for me.
That's in the past now, so I don't want to think about it.
You know, that part of my life's done, over, finished with.
I don't want to think about that because, whatever I did back then,
obviously, I did for a reason.
I don't want to be reminded of how I was living and how I used to live,
because I know in my head how I used to live and how I was living,
do you know what I mean?
Any of the other girls who I know
who are still doing what they're doing,
they can see where I've got to now
and they can then think,
"Well, yeah, fucking hell, it can be done. Fair play to her."